To wish that going for a first trimester abortion was seen like have a tooth out?

[QueenArseClangers]

Without all the societal guilt and judgement heaped upon women?
I really wished it was viewed as a bog standard procedure, I’m sure women would feel a lot more in control of their reproductive health if it was.

I don't think the OP meant we should compare the two procedures a more that we should have a similar opinion to abortions as we do to tooth extractions - the opinion being, "not my body, but hope it goes well"

We don’t have self righteous numpties picketing dentists and waving pictures of root canals gone wrong. We don’t pretend that the decision to have that tooth removed has any impact on anyone else than the dental patient. We don’t deny dental patients treatment on the grounds that they didn’t floss and should now suffer the consequences.

Okay, so this is an exaggeration. I do think a termination is rather different emotionally from having a tooth out. But I also think it is ridiculous how much other people are invested in a woman’s personal decision to terminate and absolutely insistent she should feel a certain way afterwards. Just get out of her way, please.

•They're no excuses for an unwanted pregnancy.

A woman not wanting to be pregnant is a pretty valid excuses. HTH

And my answer to "you can't accidentally get pregnant [except for rape]" is - so what? Totally irrelevant statement for women seeking an abortion

However some people use abortions INSTEAD of contraception. In place of contraception. It’s THEIR form of “contraception” because it’s nothing to them to get an abortion every month and they can’t be bothered to go and get real contraception or ask the boy/man to stick a condom on it

How many people have you heard say "let's not bother with a condom, I much prefer an abortion"?

My best mate had an abortion over 30 years ago when we were 18 and at uni. Casual relationship, condom failure, MAP failure, big plans for the future, just escaped from dysfunctional family. Only I ever knew about it and she had no reason to feel guilty about it whatsoever: a baby would have been an utter disaster for her.

But I honestly believe the guilt wrecked her life. She dropped out of uni, she's never had a truly respectful long term relationship, she's never had kids. At 53 she's single, sleeps casually with a married man, has a drudgy job and lives in a bedsit.

I knew her from when we were 11 and she was a completely different person before and after the termination. She was incredibly bright and creative and gorgeous..

So no, I don't think it's a thing to be undertaken lightly.

I purposefully got pregnant. We were TTC

Then I purposefully had an abortion 12 weeks later.

The in-between weeks were the worst in my life and I felt so, so low. I wasn't happy, I was utterly miserable, crying every day and by week 7, was planning to commit suicide. Whilst anti depressants helped (I've never had any MH issues before, nor been on any AD's before) they only took the edge off, so it was a choice:

1. Kill myself and end my pregnancy
2. End my pregnancy

Option 3 'Continue with the pregnancy' would not have been an option unless I was sedated and restrained for the next 6 months and thankfully that's currently illegal.

There's seems to be a lot more literature and awareness around POST natal depression, but surprisingly little around PRE natal depression, however I felt so, so bad - so much so that 3 years later (I'm now 36 and TTC when I was 33) I still don't think I could even contemplate getting pregnant again, even though I am still with the same man, engaged to be married this July.

Like someone said before me - It wasn't the abortion that traumatised me, it was the pregnancy (and the hormones that went with it).

However some people use abortions INSTEAD of contraception. In place of contraception. It’s THEIR form of “contraception” because it’s nothing to them to get an abortion every month and they can’t be bothered to go and get real contraception or ask the boy/man to stick a condom on it
a) What utter nonsense.
b) Nobody, but absolutely nobody on this earth can access a monthly abortion. So you're just being a lazy with your answers as you ware with your stereotypes.
c) Why are you making the woman responsible here? Can't be bothered to get the boy/man? If he's an adult, surely that's a joint decision?

The only women I know who have had a large number of abortions are women who are alcoholics and/or drug abusers and live a chaotic lifestyle. I can not imagine for a minute that they would be allowed to keep any baby they gave birth to, and their lifestyle would put any baby at significant risk of being born with major issues. So abortion that they choose seems absolutely the right choice.

And selective sex abortion isn't allowed in this country.
You must not be living in the UK then because you can have an abortion up to 24 weeks here. So there is no law stopping anyone aborting a fetus because of its sex up until then.

And there are cases of sex selection abortions after 24 weeks when the mothers showed mental distress upon finding out the sex of the fetus.

The only cases of sex selection abortion I know in the UK are where there is a genetic illness passed on that only affects one sex, some of these are very serious and lead to death in early childhood.

Incidentally I know in some areas where sex selection abortion is culturally acceptable, medics refuse to tell parents the sex of the child until after 24 weeks.

Oh look, what you said isn't actually true.

"No substantiated evidence was found of gender selective abortions taking place in Britain."

www.parliament.uk/business/publications/written-questions-answers-statements/written-question/Commons/2017-02-07/63366/

I didn't say it was common place, I said there is no law to stop anyone having an abortion up to 24 weeks because of the sex.

Incidentally I know in some areas where sex selection abortion is culturally acceptable, medics refuse to tell parents the sex of the child until after 24 weeks You cant have it both ways, either it doesn't happens or doctors refuse to tell the sex of the fetus because it does happen.

just

See this is where your argument makes no sense!

Women are taking responsibility for their choices. You choose to have a baby or you choose to abort.

Choice made.

Yeuk to forced birthers

Frankly, I would rather a woman had an abortion than be abused for carrying the wrong sex baby.

Wouldn’t bother me anyway. As long as it’s the woman’s choice and there’s no coercion so what?

Medics refuse to tell them because they fear sex selection abortion taking place. There is no proper evidence that it does EXCEPT when serious genetic illnesses are only passed on to one sex.

But I support a woman's right to choose. The truth is all these other 'issues' thrown up are a way to attack the right to have an abortion.

Indeed mydog, a woman who is pregnant and has an abortion because she doesn't want a baby is by definition taking responsibility for the situation. That it's a decision some people don't like has precisely zero impact on the responsibility point. Not taking responsibility would be to ignore the situation entirely.

Either a woman has the right to choose what happens to her own body within the law or she doesn't. If she does, the reasons are immaterial. You may not like the reasons-but they really are none of anyone's business but the woman concerned.

Why do people get their knickers in a twist over someone else's reason for a termination? You never find out anyway!! Women could be getting them because they can't find nice enough maternity clothes for all you know and miss their buttons down jeans, but we won't (and shouldn't) ever find that out, so stop second guessing. It's weird.

Regarding the chestnut about women using abortion as contraception.

I've met women who have had repeat abortions. They had very individual and often complex reasons fir seeking termination but IME many were in abusive situations and at pains to prevent their partners funding out.

I've also known women lie to medical professionals about their abortion history. Again to keep details from their partner.

Best not to judge people we know nothing about.

It could be that in some cases their partner refuses to wear a condom and the woman isn't able to refuse sex. And also might be being pressurised into having a baby that she doesn't want.

There's clearly something wrong if a woman is having multiple abortions, and definitely multiple abortions is better than multiple babies born into an unsuitable environment, with SS taking them into care then adoptive parents left to pick up the pieces.

Just going to chip in here and say my close friend has had 7 abortions but she has a lot of other issues.

I'm involved in a ministry for Central Asian women, so many of them have multiple abortions, sometimes more than 10, but that's because they're not allowed by their husbands to use contraception. And they get dragged to abortion clinics if they're found to be carrying baby girls. Often it's their mothers in law who drag them there.

So it's not about the woman's own choice.