To say 'fuck it' and have no routine?

[lisajane29]

You've heard it all before: DD is 4 months old - wakes every 90 minutes at night, has just started refusing to sleep in her crib and won't sleep in cot either and now has to be rocked to sleep and CONTINUOUSLY rocked for the duration of all naps.

She FIGHTS naps. Today, I was rocking her on my knee while singing 'Row, Row, Row your boat' and she was smiling, laughing, looking around and generally doing anything but sleep. I put her down, told my DH and DM (who was round) that she hadn't slept in 3 hours, needed a nap before her activity and I wasn't doing it.

They couldn't get her to sleep. Problem (?!) is, she's absolutely fine without the sleep. Isn't grizzly or upset, just happy and smily and normal so rather than drive myself fucking insane with this nap/ sleep schedule, would I be unreasonable to have zero nap routine and just see what happens tomorrow?

What could go wrong?

Yanbu. that's pretty much what I did!

I feel your pain! If she fights a nap I’d skip it and try again in 90mins (which is meant to be the length of a sleep/wake cycle). It worked better for me and I felt less inclined to throw things! Good luck

At 4 months we had no routine. No bedtime. Just when they were tired they slept, or I gave them the chance at least. They settled into their own routine eventually but it was led by them.

Why do you think she needed to go to sleep? There is no reason she should. She is not "fighting sleep" she doesn't even know what sleep means, she has no idea that she has done it, or that you think she is meant to be doing it.

Just leave her be, not all babies need naps

Yep.. we did that. Fuck it, she'll eventually find her own routine etc... ours did at around 6 months ish..
sending you virtual g and t 🍸🍸🍸🍸

I personally couldn't - but we're all different and she's your dd.

At that age my youngest went through an awful developmental leap and really battled naps (more so than normal). I found a sling helped for naps up until 7 months. She went from 20 mins naps jumping awake throughout to 3 hour naps.

My eldest and youngest both fell into a natural 'textbook' routine. They did this themselves with little input from me. Both boys....

My child is a girl and just wanted to do her own thing. Refused naps, velcro baby etc. I drove myself mad trying to get her to comply with what I thought she should do.

But now at age 5 she's a total delight and I look back and just wish I had gone with her flow and let her be.

YANBU OP. It's a hard stage you're at, but sometimes not having a set routine can be freeing.

I've got 4 dc and I've never ever had a nap routine. Dc4 is 11 months and sometimes he'll nap on both school runs, sometimes on just one, sometimes neither, sometimes has one big nap in the middle of the day, sometimes has 2 small ones. I just go with the flow.

Skip the naps, dd2 had one just after lunch one by that point. Dd1 had at least 2 when she was 4 months old. they all require diferant amount of sleep.

Dd1 dropped all her naps utterly by 13 months ‘yay’.

If she doesn’t need to sleep why bother?

Just follow her lead. If she seems tired put her down, if not let her crack on.

DD is almost 8 month and has no real routine. We do bedtime between 6.45 and 8 depending on how tired she is, she wakes between 6 and 8am. Has 2/3 naps during the day, anything from 30 mins to 2 and a half hours. I just go with it. Some days I've had 5 hours sleep and am fine, others I've had 8 hours and feel shattered in the afternoon. Babies are people and people don't work off an identical schedule every day!

I tried all the routines under the sun with dd1, did they work? Did they fuck. All I did was get stressed that she wasn't doing what she was supposed to! I stopped pushing and she found her own.

Dd2 on the other hand was in a routine from day 1 always the same feeds, naps etc and still at 2.9 has a nap at 11 or she's the grumpiest grump around!

and to see you through

Follow her lead, can't make a baby sleep to a schedule. My DD went through a massive sleep regression at 4 months and her sleep got better a little while after

We didn't have a routine at all until DS went to nursery. Before that, I just watched for signs of tiredness and sleepiness.

Once he started going to nursery, we just naturally fell into a routine.

The only routine I had in the little days was the bedtime one. Even if they didn’t go to sleep at that time it was a the wind down building blocks for later on.

We didn't have a routine until DS found himself one at around six months.

I didn’t bother with a routine. I figured my DD hadn’t read all the baby books to know what she should do so why should I?

It meant I was relaxed about how things worked out with DD as I took my lead from her. In turn, she remained quite chilled for most of the time.

Use the Wonder weeks too to help you identify when the sleep regressions hit - it’s reassuring that they don’t last for ever.

Also, Ewan the Dream Sheep was a God in our house for those first few months.

This may sound nuts but try putting her by an open window so she gets a little cool air on her face (properly wrapped up, of course). I don't know why but it worked for mine and I've since heard of others who found it worked as well.

erm, don't they sleep when they sleep and wake when they wake and we don't really have much control over it?

If she doesn't need a nap then she just doesn't and that's fine.

It's like someone telling you you must have a sleep at 8pm, well it work unless you need a sleep.

Only persevere with the things she needs i.e. She is knackered and so needs to sleep.

YANBU, DS was an Awful baby, never slept right up to being a teen, family joke was to call him Dracula because he would be awake all night. He only started sleeping when he graduated from uni and got a full time job with an early start. I had zero routine.

DD slept all the time, oh, was I the smug parent when that happened, with my perfect easy baby.

Do what's best for you.

Only time I could put dd1 down was if we were going out in the car where she would drop off virtually immediately so I would drive round the block and then sit with a coffee on the doorstep for the duration.

We've never had a routine. Apart from bedtime, but even that is pretty flexible. It's not compulsory and if you and your DD are happy without one then just do whatever works for you :)

Today, I was rocking her on my knee while singing 'Row, Row, Row your boat

Well, if you play with her, she’s going to want to stay awake.