To say 'fuck it' and have no routine?

[lisajane29]

You've heard it all before: DD is 4 months old - wakes every 90 minutes at night, has just started refusing to sleep in her crib and won't sleep in cot either and now has to be rocked to sleep and CONTINUOUSLY rocked for the duration of all naps.

She FIGHTS naps. Today, I was rocking her on my knee while singing 'Row, Row, Row your boat' and she was smiling, laughing, looking around and generally doing anything but sleep. I put her down, told my DH and DM (who was round) that she hadn't slept in 3 hours, needed a nap before her activity and I wasn't doing it.

They couldn't get her to sleep. Problem (?!) is, she's absolutely fine without the sleep. Isn't grizzly or upset, just happy and smily and normal so rather than drive myself fucking insane with this nap/ sleep schedule, would I be unreasonable to have zero nap routine and just see what happens tomorrow?

What could go wrong?

@cathf the difference between our opinions is that I don't think people are wrong for not doing things the way I do them. I completely believe every baby and every family is different and that parents should follow their instincts And find what works for them. You are being snidey at parents who follow baby cues or choose to co-sleep.
As has been mentioned before, it's not a 'fashionable' way of parenting as other cultures have been doing it that way for centuries!

Still going to do bath time and go to our regular baby groups and stuff at the same times. That counts as routine, doesn't it?
Attagirl OP that sounds entirely sane and reasonable! Hope your cold goes quickly and life is calmer and less fraught from here on in... 😊

OP your life sounds v similar to mine in the endless rocking and fighting with a wide awake baby who doesn't want to nap!

My DD is 6 months and has been a nightmare sleep-wise since 12 weeks. She only naps for 30 minutes at a time, after being rocked to sleep in a dark room, and is up at least every 2 hours at night. Naps in particular stress me out massively. I've been trying to put her down for a nap after 2 hours of awake time as this is frequently given as a 'maximum awake time' on parenting sites etc, where it's always said that you have to put them down BEFORE they look sleepy otherwise they'll get overtired but now I'm wondering if I just say fuck it and just put her down when she looks tired? She's generally happy and lively and sometimes I feel like I'm forcing her to sleep when maybe she just doesn't need as much sleep as the average baby.

I'm a FTM with anxiety and OCD so it's hard for me to know sometimes whether i'm worrying a 'normal' amount or whether I'm being crazy about it!

Thanks, I'll report back in a few days! For what it's worth, I didn't fight to get her to sleep last night at 7:30 and instead waited for her to fall asleep on her own at 10pm and she slept through to 3:30, which is the longest chunk of sleep I've had for weeks!

@BackIntoTheSun it's so exhausting, isn't it? Obviously, I can only speak for my own situation but (despite having a cold) I feel SO much better about things today.

DD woke at 7:45, had a very short nap at about 10ish and has now been asleep for about 45 minutes in her sleepyhead on the sofa. I haven't been able to put her down for a nap for weeks and now I'm wondering if it's because she just wasn't tired after 2 hours. I was doing the exact same as you and she would be flinging her arms around, laughing and smiling while I was desperately trying to get her to sleep!

If my mum was round, she'd find is hilarious because she kept saying it was quite clear that DD wasn't tired.

Delete that App and start doing what baby wants more.

DS never had nap times. He would sleep on the way to a class, if he didn’t then he would sleep on the way back.

They are only little for such a short period of time, ditch anything that causes stress and try to enjoy the time!

How exactly did babies survive for thousands and thousands of years when mums couldn't tell the exact time and keep them in strict routines I wonder? (Beyond "it's light, it's hot, the sun is going down, it's dark" I mean).

Someone please go back and tell every mum since the beginning of time that they should have been regimenting those little tykes.

Once I abandoned any attempt at a routine and just decided to enjoy my maternity leave and cart ds along with me, we both had a great time. He would let me know when he wanted milk or a nappy change (ok, I'd guess!), and he'd fall asleep when he felt like it. Went to most of the museums and art galleries around London.

Dd, however, was furious if she didn't get settled down for a nap at what she considered the appropriate time, which was spot on the same time most days.

I'm not anti-routine if it helps you or the baby, but otherwise, I've had to suggest to too many crying mothers in baby clinics that maybe chucking out Gina Ford might help.

@lisajane29 this is encouraging news! I'm definitely gonna try and be more casual with naps