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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who don't make an effort with their appearance.

335 replies

User247 · 24/03/2018 14:00

What do you think of people who don't do anything to look attractive?

I don't mean washing and basic hygiene. I mean those who don't dress well, wear make up or keep themselves healthy.

Why don't people want to be pleasant to look at?

OP posts:
FlyingMonkeys · 24/03/2018 18:03

It's all subjective anyway. One persons like is another persons hate...

CauliflowerBalti · 24/03/2018 18:08

Too busy. Different priorities. Fundamental lack of interest in being attractive to other people.

I like to be clean. I like my skin to look healthy so take care of it. Otherwise - meh.

DisorderedOrder · 24/03/2018 18:12

Only in a workplace context

My workplace is the one place I don't have to conform. All female staff, medical setting, we wear scrubs and no-one wears make up or jewelry. It's liberating. Saying that I stopped caring what others think a long time ago and my ageing skin looks better sans make-up these days anyway.

A friend of mine is all about her looks and missed saying goodbye to her dying dad because she had to put her make up on before leaving the house, she didn't get there in time. Sad

lolli18 · 24/03/2018 18:18

I see what you mean u do get pressurised to look good ! I make an effort through not being confident enough and worrying about other people's thoughts

truetoyourself · 24/03/2018 18:34

Why?

Because different people use their time in different ways.

I think I am "pleasant" to look at even when I'm not wearing any makeup, my (washed and brushed) hair is in a ponytail and I'm wearing comfortable (but clean) clothes. Which is most days!

Obviously I look better when I have spent more time on my appearance, but most of the time I don't bother because the marginal gain in appearance isn't worth the extra time to me.

My choice!

There is nothing "unpleasant" about a female face with no make up on, btw....

Strictly1 · 24/03/2018 18:36

I’ll be honest - I don’t think my lack of make up is any more offensive than those who choose to wear far too much of it. Each to their own.

CircleSquareCircleSquare · 24/03/2018 18:38

I want to make you vomit.

CadyHeron · 24/03/2018 18:38

If I’ve brushed my hair and cleaned my teeth I say job well done!

Same Grin looking a bit like I've been dragged through an hedge backwards today but do I care? Nope Grin

HangtheblessedDJ · 24/03/2018 18:43

I do it for me. Don't care what others do.

Butchmanda · 24/03/2018 20:10

I'm one of those and I don't know the answer. I look in the mirror (but not too often) and wonder. I'm clean and tidy. I'm not massively overweight (and my reason for occasionally resolving to lose half a stone is to do with how I feel rather than how I look) but I'm not a pretty sight to look at.

BarbarianMum · 24/03/2018 20:13

Because I don't care about appearances. I find people who put a lot of stock in how they look a bit odd tbh.

nocoolnamesleft · 24/03/2018 20:14

I'm told I scrub up pretty well. On the very rare occasion I bother. My appearance is generally pretty low on my list of priorities. And likewise low on the list of how the people whose opinions actually matter judge me. I am judged on what I do. And that is something that I am extremely bothered to do well.

formerbabe · 24/03/2018 20:18

I'm definitely getting less bothered about my appearance as I get older. Part of me is horrified by this as I never wanted to lose that important part of myself. I never went out without make up. I'd even re-do my make up ten minutes before mrformer came home from work. I used to make so much effort.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 24/03/2018 20:22

I don't think it's fair to say women who are into makeup and fashion are being frivolous or confirming to the patriarchy Hmm Some people see fashion and makeup as an artistic pursuit.

Dangerousmonkey · 24/03/2018 20:34

Becausecthe wiman who raised me told me only a prostitute needs to wear make up for other people. Yeah and that only the stupid need to worry about how they look.
Now I can rationalise that she is a nasty judgemental bitch. But it affects me long term But then she at least made me recognise a judgemental waste of effort when I encounter one.

seafoodeatit · 24/03/2018 20:35

DFOD

Dress nice, to look nice etc etc these are all opinions, and subjective ones at that. Maybe being clean and presentable is looking nice to some? Maybe I don't feel the need to slap things on my face to leave the house or worry about what Joanna/jo bloggs thinks of my attire.

DairyisClosed · 24/03/2018 20:37

Well I mean I don't keep myself healthy to look nice. Not to mention a lot of people put a lot of effort into their appearance but just end up looking common as a result.

RoseWhiteTips · 24/03/2018 20:48

Not to mention a lot of people put a lot of effort into their appearance but just end up looking common as a result.

What a ridiculous comment or idea or whatever it is. Do you really think wearing make up to enhance your appearance is “common”?

Bonkers.

RoseWhiteTips · 24/03/2018 20:52

Anyhow, most women wear make up for themselves. I know I do. If other people find my appearance pleasing , then that’s a bonus.

Motoko · 24/03/2018 20:54

Having said what I did above, my mum always looked beautiful, glamorous and made the effort even whilst she was dying of cancer. That was her act of defiance I think at the horrible disease.

I've become a bit like that. I have terminal cancer, and in the last year, I've started playing with make up, buying perfume samples (so I can try lots of different ones cheaply) and wearing nail varnish.
I only leave the house about once a week, and still don't wear make up very often, but I always have my nails varnished, and wear a spray of perfume.

For me, it was because I wanted to have something to pamper me, that didn't take much effort, and something to look forward to the next day, wondering which perfume I'd decide to wear that day.

Over the years, I've gone through phases of wearing make up every day, or only wearing it on special occasions. I think make up can enhance people's appearance (and I'm including men, because I think a guy with eyeliner on looks hot!) as long as it's not overdone. I think the fashion for slug eyebrows, fake tans, and pale lipstick, looks fucking awful!

PaulDacreRimsGeese · 24/03/2018 21:04

What I think of people who don't do anything to look attractive is that they don't give a fuck what the likes of you think of them. I admire that.

happymummy12345 · 24/03/2018 21:04

I dress in whatever I want because what I wear is my choice. I never wear makeup simply because I can't apply it for shit. And I'm generally healthy and well.
Why are you bothered though? Very judgemental

LegallyBrunet · 24/03/2018 21:25

I dress the way I LIKE, if other people don't like it tough, I keep myself healthy and I don't wear makeup because I don't like it, it's too much faff and I have more important things too be doing with my time. At the end of the day I feel confident in myself and my OH thinks I look beautiful regardless. That's all that matters to me, not the opinions of judgemental strangers

chocolatesun · 24/03/2018 21:28

Surely people wearing less or no makeup is a good thing. I think we should all feel beautiful in our natural state. So many women wear makeup like a mask which is a shame and it puts pressure on young girls. Vanity seems to be idealised these days and I get fed up with it. Now if I only could practice what I preach on this one!

rascallyrascal · 24/03/2018 21:34

In my case you can't put lipstick on a pig!!! Seriously though, I can't be bothered. Take me or leave me as I am.

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