12 year old using porn sites

[Myheartbelongsto]

My 12 year old, almost 13 was having a problem connecting his phone to WiFi. Said I'd take a look for him. Searched sky support and three windows were open showing porn videos.

How do I deal with this?

Jesus.

Sort your parental controls pronto.

Turn off your router and get help blocking adult sites.

Done that previously. Think he must have restored factory settings.

I can do all the technical stuff its more how do I bring it up with him.

You need someone to teach you how to do it.
Or confiscate any equipment.
Realistically you need to know how to secure it. Just like locking the front door.

Aside from putting in parental controls I would be sitting down and talking about how porn doesn’t reflect real sex and opening a dialogue so he can talk to you about this stuff.

Sometimes inappropriate pop-ups do appear, are you certain that he searched for it?

I couldn't see the history but there was three windows open. Two for porn hub and one for another site so pretty sure it wasn't a pop up.

Spoke to his father last night and we are chatting to him later. I'm going to chat to him about respect, sex between two loving people that kind of thing. Think he just got curious and had a look.

A friend of his, girl aged 14 showed him a porno and I went nuclear on her parents.

He doesn't have a password on his phone and I check all four kids phones every night when I stick them on charge in the kitchen. They know the rules of using internet and don't have apps they're not allowed to have and they stick to it as never seen anything untoward before last night.

I'm guardian of my little brother, same age. Recently had a similar discovery. Told him that if he ever wanted to chat about sex, love, life, etc, then all he had to do is ask and that I'd always be there to help/advise/terrify. It's nothing to be ashamed of (we've all been there). Let him know you're always around to answer any questions.

I recently tried to chat to him about sex as its coming up in school. Just said to him if he had any questions to ask me and his dad and he said no way thaw would be embarrassing and we laughed about it.

I'll let you know how the chat goes he'll be home in an hour.

www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/age-by-age-guide-to-talking-to-kids-about-sex/

Myheart before the chat I urge you to look at porn hub.
Not just glance, read the titles of the clips, look what is popular in the UK.

It's hard core.

You need to have a chat.

But your the parent, take his phone away and give him a dumb phone. He doesn't need an internet enabled phone at that age.

I would be absolutely furious if I had set parental controls and he had worked around them. That phone would be fine. He has seriously broken your trust.

You might know technology but so does he. He is a 12 year old boy. A boy. Don’t try to be too cool about this. These videos are vile examples of objectivisation of women. This is how it starts.

I challenge you to find ONE example of a loving encounter between two equal adults on PornHub. It is vile and he is a child and you are at risk of being accused of neglect by allowing him access to such things. You need to come down hard on this, you need to put a stop to it now. You are the adult he is a child.

Gone, not fine.

Firstly, check if the phone company will block adult content. 4g doesn't use your router so is an easy way to get around restrictions.

With Sky you can block specific sites as well as keywords. Don't forget to also block proxy sites. You need to change the router password so he can't remove the parental blocks in future. He might be using private browsing so there's no trace of porn sites in his history.

A conversation point is what to do when someone sends him porn.

I've seen a porno or two in my time and I watched each video in the three tabs. Of course I won't find an example of equal loving sex on porn hub. I meant I will explain that sex is normal between two living people within a relationship.

He doesn't use his phone normally to access internet. We have to remind him he has a phone most of the time.

Not too sure coming down hard on him will achieve anything.

Going to have an open and honest chat about sex, porn etc.

TheQueef

Myheart before the chat I urge you to look at porn hub.
Not just glance, read the titles of the clips, look what is popular in the UK.

It's hard core.

^ This. Pornhub is horrific. I am genuinely terrified of what our young people are seeing on a daily basis. It literally Keep a me awake at night and I am convinced it is fuelling the mental health epidemic in our youngsters. I am having conversations with my DC that my mother could never have imagined in her wildest dreams.

A friend of his, girl aged 14 showed him a porno and I went nuclear on her parents.

So happy to go nuclear as you put it on this girl’s parents but with your son it’s all softly softly...?

Try not to become part of the problem. You Are raising the young men of tomorrow. You have a responsibility to society as well as your son.

The main problem as I see it, is that this type of porn is so prolific now that young men and women are growing up thinking this is normal.

Young girls are reporting the expectations of young men wanting to perform certain sex acts on them, and getting stroppy or shaming them if they won't allow it, as that is what they have learned from porn.

I firmly believe watching porn at such a young age, before they've had their own normal sexual experiences, is damaging to their future sexual relationships.

I'm not behind the door Hearts loosely describing porn as sex until the Ann Summers thing, after that I looked.

In my many years nothing I saw resembled sex. When I looked almost all the top ten had incest 8/10 all ten involved choking and gagging and all had females crying.

What we think of when we say porn and what is considered mainstream now are legions apart.
I'm not being patronizing I didn't have a clue, I had my eyes opened.

Jaime, that's very helpful thank you.

It wasn't private browsing, just a normal Google search by the looks of it.

12?!! Oh god this is my worst parenting nightmare.

Not taken, I was happy to go nuclear as he was 10 at the time.

And she had also given my then 7 year old daughter a sex education lesson so showing him the porno was the last straw in a long line of things she had done.

windows
i firmly believe watching porn at such a young age, before they've had their own normal sexual experiences, is damaging to their future sexual relationships.
Couldn’t agree more