12 year old using porn sites

[Myheartbelongsto]

My 12 year old, almost 13 was having a problem connecting his phone to WiFi. Said I'd take a look for him. Searched sky support and three windows were open showing porn videos.

How do I deal with this?

SpiritedLondon But how old was your brother? And were you nosing in his private space?

I will never know whether my DM knew I had a few copies of Mayfair and the like - very tame - under the bed in my sixth form years - she was far too discreet to mention it if she did.

For there record I junked them a few months after leaving school when I achieved the Real Thing and with the humility of 18 decided I did not need them any more .

If it was my ds he would have his phone replaced with a old Nokia model. I hope you manage to resolve this, OP.

For decades woman were campaigning for the right to have their sexual wants and desires recognised and now u have a generation of woman who have reverted to making it shameful!

The porn industry has absolutely nothing to do with getting female sexuality recognised and valued. Saying that the porn industry show sex that is not the same as consensual sex is accurate. There is no consent when there is a transaction involved. So there’s no free consent in the sex industry.

I found porn on my then 12 yo DSs computer.I just pretended I hadn't seen it.I think it is normaland fine for boys that age to be curious.I remember some pretty grim mags circulating around the boys at a similar age.Just be glad he's a normal red blooded lad

Just be glad he's a normal red blooded lad

What the actual fuck?

There is so much wrong with that statement that I don’t know where to start.

Andrew my brother would have been 15 and yes I certainly was in his bedroom although they weren’t exactly hidden. In fact they were mostly Mayfair magazines with some other harder titles. I’m not complaining about it but I don’t think it’s great either.

I resent the notion that this is ok for boys and is to be expected. If it’s ok for boys then it’s surely Ok for girls too - and the idea that it’s not ok for girls is part of the problem IMO.

I think lots of porn is created for men and features aspects of sex that I personally don’t find very appealing. I don’t know why that is but believe that men are more visually stimulated than women. Sometimes I prefer to read erotica and the number of women I saw reading 50 Shades in the train when that came out suggests maybe I’m not alone. That being said there are certain types of scenes that I do like and will watch. I don’t have any research to back anything up ( like most posters here) and I only speak for myself not the entire womankind. I think the idea that there is no consent where there is a transaction is ridiculous and condescending to the hundreds of women who have entered the industry and participate in it willingly.

The notion is not ridiculous OR condescending Spirited, although you are obvs entitled to think what you like!

This is a light read and points to some more heavyweight research, if you’re interested

I resent the notion that this is ok for boys and is to be expected. If it’s ok for boys then it’s surely Ok for girls too - and the idea that it’s not ok for girls is part of the problem IMO

eh?Who has said that girls can't look at porn, but boys can?

My sister had a similar issue with my nephew when he was about 13. She spoke to him about it quite frankly and honestly, but explained to him that the stuff you find online can often be linked to much worse stuff. Our step brother was looking at 'normal porn' when he was about 16 (on a dial up connection, it was that long ago). He was getting stuff sent to him but then it got more and more graphic and disgusting. He tried to 'unsubscribe'. One morning our house and various others all got a dawn time raid where the police seized everything that could possibly have illegal porn on. For my step brother's dad, that meant hundreds of homemade videos (nothing untoward!), as well as PCs, VHS tapes, etc. Luckily they found nothing in any of the stuff seized from our house or his dad's house, but it could have been so much worse for all of us. If it had been leaked to the press, both sides of the family would have been ripped to shreds as my dad and my step-brother's dad were both in very prominent positions within the community.
Anyway, once my sister explained all this to her son, and that bad people can try to drag you into things online which could cause massive problems. He seemed to understand and no longer looks at porn online (or at least he didn't while he lived with her)

Porn at 12 no, a little porn when old enough is ok but many teenage boys and young men are suffering from Erectile dysfunction due to death grip wanking and watching more and more extreme images to get the same effect. Guys start off with normal porn then it goes into gangbangs, then onto shemale porn and then onto illegal stuff to get the same high there's a site called nofap which is about porn addiction and trying to reset the mind and body from hardcore images.

too late for him to stop
it sounds weird but just control him
he is becoming a teen so his sexual drive will increase because of his puberty
and lot of kids(85%) know what is sex and what they do and they just don't tell anyone except friends

I’d go nuclear.
Do you want him viewing violence against women and thinking it is normal?
Do you want him watching violence and sex with animals and children?
At his age kids don’t have much in the way of understanding of controls so you need to intervene.
Unless you want him arrested in a couple of years I would really restrict and also speak to the school and get support.
You need to protect your child from this going further.
Get rid of the smart phone.

too late for him to stop

A little late, yeah, it was TEN FUCKING MONTHS AGO.

When kids have free access to a phone or the internet they have free access to all that comes with it.
Including the potential to view all sorts and have contact with all sorts.
It's fact. Even the supposed 'safe' sites have content and predators that would make your hair curl.
I firmly believe that in 20 years time we will look back at today and say 'what were we thinking giving kids access to a smartphone'

I looked at porn from a young age mainly out curiosity. I’m a surgeon and getting married so I think I’m ok. It doesn’t necessarily do harm.

ZOMBIE THREAD

I think you’re doing the right thing removing the phone, I would explain to him that you need to think about it before you give it back. It’s totally natural to be curious, but pornhub and the like are anything but realistic and give young men unnatural expectations and young women then feel pressured.

The first TED talk on this link (maybe some of the others but I haven’t watched them) might be helpful, for both of you to watch, it’ll give you a way to talk about it and him some context from a person not his parent! tedxinnovations.ted.com/2015/12/11/playlist-4-talks-offer-new-ways-to-think-about-porn/

I’m terrified of this myself, I have two ten year olds and even though they’re supervised on the internet they’ve still seen stuff they shouldn’t have. I can only do this for so long though.

Oh fucking hell

It's porn most secondary kids have had exposure. Have a chat about how its not realistic, put on for the cameras, the explotation side.

I check all four kids phones every night

Any 12 year old who has a smartphone can hide any apps, messages, websites so deep it would take a forensic programmer to find them. There are literally thousands of hidden/dummy apps on the play store. It's completely and utterly pointless checking a phone for anything.

"Any 12 year old who has a smartphone can hide any apps, messages, websites so deep it would take a forensic programmer to find them. There are literally thousands of hidden/dummy apps on the play store. It's completely and utterly pointless checking a phone for anything"

Absolutely true.

My personal opinion is that the only time anyone should have a smartphone is when theyre old enough to afford it.

Stop a zombie thread

*still

Did I not read something similar here the other day, but the "child" was 11!!!

It really put me about as our child is 11 too.
I mentioned it to his mother and like me she was mortified.
So, I've decided that if this happens in our house both the phone and tablet will be confiscated (I'll probably stamp on them - lol)

The replacement phone will be just that "A Phone" not a smartphone.

Problem solved!!