Bf.'s attitude to my parents financial situation

[stardustlover]

Long story short, my parents were always not very savvy with money and ended up getting a mortgage late in life and my widowed mum still owes about £90,000 on this. It's interest only. My bf is a financial manager and my mum and I asked for a bit of advice regarding her downsizing. He was very rude to me (not her) about the "mess" that she's in and was highly critical of my parent's choices 20 years ago which is what essentially lead them to having no savings and getting this mortgage. They had no choice basically. Life didn't go to plan due to my dad's health, the job market and relocation and whilst yes, they made bad decisions, they paid for their mistakes. I'm really upset that he has been so rude and critical and feel he has judged them very harshly. My mum shouldn't even have a mortgage according to him, nevermind still owe £90,000. Would you be pissed off with him or has he just given said what anyone else in his job would have said?

if there is equity and she doesnt want to move then equity release is worth considering.

At the age of 80, there are a few other things she should consider. such as a simple will, making sure the dr’s office has a couple family contact numbers, bank authority to pay her bills or access her money if she is hospitalized are just a few.
If she’s fine in the house for now and can pay all her bills, the sell/move discussion can wait.

Thank you to everyone who knew what they were talking about and gave constructive comments. I've chatted to my mum today and she is going to contact the lender and see what they say. Apparently their financial advisor at the time told some lies to the lender to get them the mortgage. She was not happy about this and I bet my dad wasn't either as lying is/was a sin to them. I'm going to look into retirement villages and then once she has lots of info she'll speak to an independent financial advisor about her options and best plan. Thanks again.

That’s great, just make sure she doesn’t tell them they lied or contradict the lie. Legally i imagine they would be able to call in their debts if the lie were discovered.

What lies are you talking about? You do realise she has potentially committed mortgage fraud. You might need to get some proper advice on the best course of action so you don’t make the situation worse.

He sounds unconstructive. Your mum needs constructive and practical advice to make the best of a hard situation. Just go elsewhere or to a Citizens advice to get a list of other advisers. He don't need his annoying finger waggings like you are two silly kids.....

To be honest if the mortgage runs till she is 90 I wouldn’t worry about it. No mortgage company would want to evict a 90 year old so your mum effectively has a cheap version of a lifetime mortgage. I’ve seen a 94 year old with an end of interest only mortgage and the mortgage company just agreed to review it annually and not move for repossession.

💐🍷 for ditching twat features.

I wouldn’t contact the Lender. No way. Currently she’s got a mortgage she’s paying monthly. No good can come of upsetting that situation.

She will have an Annual Statement showing exactly what she owes. That’s all you need to know from them.

You know she needs to do something because the money she has being using to pay the mortgage is stopping and she can’t affird it solely on her pension.

Downsizing makes the most sense.

Get some Estate Agents in to do valuations and start looking at places she would consider buying (Rightmove). See what she can afford with her Equity (sale price less full mortgage repayment).

Get a good idea of where you’re at before you speak to a Financial Advisor.

Financial advisors are an odd breed and it’s hard to find a good one, but the FA who posted earlier might be able to help you find one in your area. You should go with your Mum.

As I said, I would NOT contact her Lender let sleeping dogs lay. She’s 80, on an interest only mortgage - she’s not going to get any help from them, and they could possibly recall the mortgage.