Black hair in baby daddy's bath

[mummytomaxwell]

Me and my partner decided it would be best for me to move out with our little one 5 weeks ago. We still text a couple of times a day and I've been round there three times. He tells me he wants us to live together again and how much he misses us.
Today I took our little boy round to see him and I went up for a wee and to my surprise there was a big lump of black hair in his bath. He's bald so it's definitely not his.
I still have feelings for him so I'm probably over reacting but I'm not sure why there would be any hair in his bath if he's on his own.

I know we arent really together kind of just seeing each other etc but AIBU for being upset about it?

Just ask him, then if you are upset tell him why

I'm jamaican.

Baby daddy is the father of a woman's child or children that does not live with her.

MN soudns incredibly snobbish and racist when it attacks any 'jamaican' expression or jamaican/african name. What do the PP gain from it? A sense of superiority?

hey M5 rolling out the mn cliches did you mean to be so rude?

Cut out the snobby shit and faux "what's a baby daddy". How obnoxious and sneering some of you sound.

OP maybe time for a clean break? This is no way to live, sounds like he's stringing you along.

MN soudns incredibly snobbish and racist when it attacks any 'jamaican' expression or jamaican/african name.

Do you have verification that this term originated in Jamaica? It's been said here (Ohio) for many many years.

If hair in the bath wasn't something that happened when you lived together, then it's pretty obvious he's been with someone else.

Yes it’s the inferred superiority.baby daddy I say whom,what is that?
And the protracted and pointed comments all add to the prejudicial tone
Says everything about those continuing to make pejorative reference to term baby daddy

You kind of missed out an important and relevant fact - why it was best you moved out??

If you just see him as a baby daddy then he can do what he likes with whoever he likes.

Yes to pp, Baby Daddy was in the Scissor Sisters! I loved them!...What a nasty response though, to someone asking for help... OP, it sounds suspect to me, but if you ask, you may find it’s something innocent. If not, perhaps find a more sympathetic area to post. Good luck

If just seeing each other is a euphemism for continuing to have a sexual relationship with him rather than letting him see your baby, then I would advise getting checked for STIs. Why did you move out?

@steff13

en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/baby_daddy

Is 'baby mummy' in the vernacular?
No. It's baby mama. It's really not a particularly new phrase and really not hard to dechiper what it means, ffs.

Never mind if rapunzel has been up there.does he pay maintenance

Christ alive, some of the snobs on here haven't heard of that old adage, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

But I suppose it makes you feel better mocking someone else, so you don't have to really look inwards at your own sad lives.

OP, if you think there's half a chance he'll be honest if you ask him, ask him. But be prepared to not like what he says. Sometimes, no matter how sad it is, you can't go back. And YANBU for feeling upset.

Some arseholes on here

This is actually a very common term among Caribbean communities. Given we have no idea of the ethnicity or origin of the OP (or whether English is her first language) we could all cut out the crap about a perfectly understandable OP, dont'cha think?

This. It's all sounding rather racist.

I'll give posters the benefit of the doubt that they don't live in cities with Carribean communities.

OP why was it that you moved out and not him? I’m assuming hairs in the bath is a new thing as you would have noticed them previously.

Maybe take this as a blessing in disguise and keep him firmly as your baby daddy rather than letting him string you (and probably plenty of other women) along. It will all end in tears and probably for the best it’s sooner rather than later.

Good luck OP

Yeah,...lets ignore the point of her post and get snotty about 'baby daddy'
I think everyone knows what she meant.
Sometimes MN members can be arses.

Baby Daddy. Baby Daddy. Baby Daddy. There now MN snobs, take a deep breath and... breeaath..See? MN (or you!) didn't explode. OK so shall we help the OP with her problems or are you still too busy acting the Twat?

hey M5 rolling out the mn cliches did you mean to be so rude?

Or did you mean to be so racist?

Not a significant Caribbean community where I live.its WASP and MC
I know what baby daddy is. Even if ones never encountered term it’s self explanatory
So the protracted oh I say,what,whom is baby daddy it’s an affectation

Sorry have we established what type of hair was in the bath? Presumably OP you are familiar with Ex-DP or DP-ish's pubes and would have recognised them thus and just thought yuk, hence there being any question over what was in the bath.
I know it must feel really shit and raw and each 'pube discovery' is a fresh punch to the stomach, but you really are best to find out now if he is messing around while you are thinking you and he have a future together and are raising 2DC one of whom is tiny.
Do you have other friends and family to support you IRL OP? I appreciate it isn't as easy as just being able to speak to someone because you have DC together - You don't necessarily feel it is your place to ask/might feel that it will look too keen etc etc. Also i'll bet your head is allover the place having given birth so recently (Congratulations!). Please just get on with being an ace Mother, which I am sure you are and honestly, if things are going to work out between you then they will do anyway, whether that is tomorrow or 5 years from now and keep reminding yourself that once you have done it all ALONE you are strong as fuck because you never need a partner in the same way again and it gives huge freedom and confidence in my experience.
Ignore the tutting and clucking over 'Baby Daddy', I am afraid our collective MN average age on here seems to be about 195 and most of us would like to return to ye olde times and communicating via stone tabernacles or hand delivered scrolls pre-empted by the parparp of a bugle, so any changes in language and it's usage largely pass us by.