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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Black hair in baby daddy's bath

130 replies

mummytomaxwell · 20/03/2018 19:46

Me and my partner decided it would be best for me to move out with our little one 5 weeks ago. We still text a couple of times a day and I've been round there three times. He tells me he wants us to live together again and how much he misses us.
Today I took our little boy round to see him and I went up for a wee and to my surprise there was a big lump of black hair in his bath. He's bald so it's definitely not his.
I still have feelings for him so I'm probably over reacting but I'm not sure why there would be any hair in his bath if he's on his own.

I know we arent really together kind of just seeing each other etc but AIBU for being upset about it?

OP posts:

Tessliketrees · 20/03/2018 20:26

I like the term baby daddy.... or I should say I like the meaning as I understand it.

Baby daddy maybe a little bit cringey but at it's a short hand for an important and significant relationship*. I wish there was a better universally understood phrase though.

*That isn't necessarily to say a positive relationship.

VladmirsPoutine · 20/03/2018 20:27

I wonder if we could get Kate to refer to William as her 'baby daddy' it might become an acceptable term for the snobs among us?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/03/2018 20:28

Really what?you all know or at least in the context of thread can guess he’s the baby’s daddy
This protracted oh I say baby daddy whatever is that. Snobby and obtuse.
Undisguised rudeness to put op down,to mock her dialect and choice of words
Instead of empathetic response based on her actual issues
New mum
Recent break up
Feeling a bit raw and muddled about feelings toward her ex

Tessliketrees · 20/03/2018 20:28

Why don't people who want to say 'baby daddy' just say 'my baby's father'? It's not that hard.

Baby daddy implies somebody you are not in a current romantic relationship with, the latter phrase doesn't.

That's assuming that it's the male version of baby-mama.

Laiste · 20/03/2018 20:28

Was it possibly pubes? Does he shave his privates?

Has he had a mate over to stay? (with long dark hair obvs)

himalayansalt · 20/03/2018 20:29

Has anyone before in the whole history of Mumsnet used the term Baby Daddy to describe their child's father? I'm wondering if this is a very unique First.

Allthewaves · 20/03/2018 20:31

Could he have had mates over to stay?

Liara · 20/03/2018 20:35

This is actually a very common term among Caribbean communities. Given we have no idea of the ethnicity or origin of the OP (or whether English is her first language) we could all cut out the crap about a perfectly understandable OP, dont'cha think?

Rudgie47 · 20/03/2018 20:37

OP just ask him if hes seeing a woman with long dark hair and look at his reactions.
Also just ignore all the piss takers on here.

panetonnebraxton · 20/03/2018 20:37

That's assuming that it's the male version of baby-mama

It is.

Mumsnet hates slang, basically. You must never correct someone's grammar, but if they use a slang term, you may politely join the long queue to jump down their throat.

EggysMom · 20/03/2018 20:37

You moved out, so presumably you lived together before that. Do you remember having to clean his pubic hair out of the bath back then? Presumably not, or you wouldn't think it odd and have posted.

Next question. How long were they? Pubic hair is pretty short. Anything longer is questionable.

Lastly, is it likely that he's had a friend or relative to stay?

GorgeousJaws · 20/03/2018 20:37

When do they stop being baby daddy though, I mean, how old does the baby have to be? Does it change into child daddy when they're older?

Just ask him who the hair belongs to OP.

panetonnebraxton · 20/03/2018 20:38

OP since you're not really together with him, I would just ask him about it.

And if you want to be in an exclusive relationship with him, perhaps you should tell him so.

Fekko · 20/03/2018 20:40

Ask. But had long hair and strands away gets left behind when he visits! If I was suspicious I'd ask who the long haired brunette is!

Farmerswife36 · 20/03/2018 20:41

Why did you move out ? Seems a very strange set up and baby daddy is so American and sounds bloody stupid !

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/03/2018 20:43

Oh belt up.you going on about baby daddy sounds snobby and strained

screepy · 20/03/2018 20:44

Could all the "baby daddy" snobs please start their own thread? The op has asked for advice on her relationship, not her vocabulary!

BuzzKillington · 20/03/2018 20:45

Is 'baby mummy' in the vernacular?

RadioGaGoo · 20/03/2018 20:46

I can't be dealing with that fake pretence of 'what's a baby daddy'. Pathetic.

GabsAlot · 20/03/2018 20:46

i call them sperm donors

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/03/2018 20:47

I expect it’s a new fankled term for some of you.not oft heard in Waitrose

notangelinajolie · 20/03/2018 20:50

Sorry OP you lost me at baby daddy. If you don't trust him and can't communicate with him then there really is no point.

youarenotkiddingme · 20/03/2018 20:51

Ignoring the unhelpful posts.

It's hard when you split from your child's other parent. Once you have that child it does bond you forever - and that can confuse feelings.
You love them because of the child they helped you create. But you also may know deep down the relationship isn't good. Hence the separation.

Also totally agree with above posters that if you can't discuss this rationally with each other it's unlikely you'll have a good relationship - which needs open communication.

Greenyogagirl · 20/03/2018 20:53

His name doesn’t start with a T does it.....

thegreatbeyond · 20/03/2018 20:57

I thought he was in 'Scissor Sisters'?

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