To rant about dieting

[Champagneandthestars]

I've just lost 3 stone over 4 months and I'm so so so so sick of dieting! It's one step forward 2 back, if I even eat one OTT (normal) meal I put on 2 lb and have to eat 800 cals a day for a week just to get rid. I have boobs and hips and I love food! I'm the person who turns up to a picnic with enough to feed an army, cheesecakes serve 4 not 8. I know how to diet, I'm just so tired of watching everything that goes in my mouth to both lose and maintain. I watch people thoughtlessly eating crisps and cakes with blind envy. I hate healthy food and just want to eat crap! Sorry for the rant, needed to get that off my chest.

As you were.

OP I think your only losing a small amount each week as you are eating too few calories. You need to work out how much calories you burn a day, and then eat less but only a small deficit. E.g. if your burning 2200 kcal a day, then eating 1700 leaves you with 500 kcal deficit which your body would then take from your fat stores.
You can eat whatever you want, however unhealthy as long as you eat less than you burn off.

The conflation of "exercising will power (even when you don't like it)" with body-shaming / self-flagellation / anorexic behaviour is a real part of the problem in my opinion. If someone was venting about the struggle with not cracking into the gin at 10am or smoking six joints a day or quitting smoking, there wouldn't be weird head-tilty hippy drippy replies about loving how marvellous you are and giving yourself what you want.

I see the difference between those examples, obviously, because we do need to eat, and anorexic behaviour and body shaming are a real issue, but these posters have cracked The Secret to Weight Management, which is having the will power to not eat what you want all the time, and it's seriously fucked up that (some) peoples' first instinct is to pathologise that rather than applaud it.

I think I get what you are saying Quim. Its along the lines of those people who say 'there's nothing wrong with you' when in actual fact I know I'm 2 stone too fat and the only way to lose that two stone is to keep my mouth firmly shut when around food. Its a miserable thing to have to accept.

I think awareness of all sorts of conditions has grown so much that people are paranoid about them, so if you only eat what your body needs for health but limit the junk food (for example) you are “starving yourself” whereas if you weren’t eating any food (healthy or not) and we’re heading into seriously underweight territory then that would be a real problem.

Staying slim is not anorexia or starving yourself!

Also that general perceptions of “normality” has changed when it comes to weight. Overweight is “curvy”. Slim is “starving yourself”. It’s not. Underweight due to extreme undereating and no other linked body health issues could be described as starving yourself.

thenightsky I don't really think actual weight necessarily comes into it, so much as the extent to which people are unhappy with their weight and wish to change it. It's at that stage that people really do need to stop looking for ways to eat pizza and chocolate muffins all day and still lose weight. It is really hard to accept that we can't have all the lovely easily-available things which we're surrounded with all the time and encouraged to enjoy, and not suffer the consequences. Of course people are in denial about that. But we have to accept that we need to self-moderate and in order to self-moderate we have to exercise will power, as unfair as it seems. If posters were as described upthread, just eating whatever they like and packing on the weight and not giving a damn, then the whole will power question would be moot. (That's if, for the sake o argument, we temporarily ignore the costs to the NHS of obesity-related health issues, etc.) It's already incredibly hard to accept that all that stands between you and being fat is will power, and so being pelted with a narrative wherein having and exercising will power is some kind of mental illness. It's not. It's a boring, unpleasant but necessary part of living in a culture with a glut of addictive and fattening foods, which you need to adopt if you don't want to be fat.

Sorry - meant to type that "being pelted with a narrative wherein having and exercising will power is some kind of mental illness isn't helpful."

I get you OP.

I'm doing SW and it's working, but it's the thought that I'll have to have this crap in the back of my mind for my entire life. It's so, so boring.

I put weight on at an unbelievable rate - I went on a course for four days where there wasn't much choice or many healthy options, and came back 3 pounds heavier. Almost a pound a day!

I'm fine with changing my habits, as with SW it's very manageable, but I just want to never give it another thought, and put my brain to some good use instead.

Ah yes Quim I get what you are saying now and agree completely. I figured out a long time ago that will power is the only way. I accept that. It doesn't make it any easier though! And I'm the queen of bloody willpower! If I ate what I wanted when I wanted I'd be off the scale of obese.

Exactly Sunday. I think it's easy to forget that for many people, i.e. OP and you and other posters on this thread, it really is a constant battle of will power not to eat junk food, and think that "I have to exercise will power every day to maintain my weight" is a sentiment which would only be expressed by a withered five-stone anorexic. It's actually true of a huge number of people, because we can't move without being confronted with junk food, which I do believe is genuinely addictive.

I hear you. I am slowly losing weight by portion control, cutting down on booze and eating low fat and .moderate carbs and proteiin. I'm 5ft 1.5 in and weigh 9.5 stone. Would be very happy to get down to 9st. I don't want to be skinny just a healthy weight. I'm a medium frame, hourglass shape long legs and short body and don't actually need to be skinny to look slim. But it is hard work thinking about everything you eat and I am one of those people who loses less weight when I exercise. Was laid up for a week with a virus recently and lost weight even though I was not exercising and eating normally for me.

Same here nightsky. I'm actually pretty lucky in terms of not being "addicted" to bad food (I really can mostly take or leave sweet things, and I know how incredibly lucky I am there!) but I gained about 20-25lbs just by getting into bad habits - wine every evening, big bowls of pasta for every dinner, random nibbling when the mood took me, pizza for lunch, being really sedentary - and I sulked for well over a year, flailing around a bit in the gym and making the odd healthy meal, before I finally accepted what I needed to do to lose weight. It's second nature now that I've hit my stride, but man it was hard to break those habits, and when I let it all go for a bit, on holiday or over Christmas for example, I have another sulk about how hard and unfair it is when I'm supposed to get back on the wagon

For me the injustice is compounded by the fact that I really didn't think for a moment about my weight until I was about 24-25. I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about what changed.

@Champagneandthestars feel free to moan! (Although why you're hanging out with all these skinny bitches... )

I love dinners. My plate is always half veg/salad. I love porridge, I always choose whole grain over processed white. I don't have much of a sweet tooth. I could happily never eat chocolate again. I don't do takeaways .

But I am still a fat bastard.

I'm not sure that helps But I am dieting too (3st down, 3 to go) and I HEAR YA

I do agree Quim. What gets to me is the fact to remain a fairly wobbly size 12 i often go to bed feeling hungry. It’s just boring. I love food, it is joy and life, but bloody hell it is hard to maintain a reasonable weight.

I'm the same. I'm sometimes too embarrassed to post on these threads that I don't lose weight on 5:2 because for 5 days, I eat so many calories that it makes up for the 2 VLC days or I cant do No 'S' because I eat far too much and have too many 'S' days ( sick, special occasions!) I cant stick to low carb for the 2 week strict period because I love biscuits too much, that I've read all the anti diet books- they've told me nothing I don't know- and the chances of me doing enough exercise to burn 3500 cals a day are about the same as the chances of me flying to the moon! I'm doing Slimming World, but whereas other people lose stones and stones, I am creeping along, because I'm having too many cheat days and cant organize myself enough! For me though, Ive stuck to it for far longer than any other eating plan and I like the meals and that I don't have to weigh and measure everything.

using terms like withered five stone anorexic in such a harsh and little nasty ways isn't helpful.its a fecking fatal horrendous illness.doesnt come into keep weight up or down over what hell the mind of a sufferer is going through.its nothing to do with this debate.topic.thread.

@Champagneandthestars

I would so accept your cheesecake off except we're supposed to be um, er, off the stuff. I'd match you for champagne too.

You always need to factor in gaining about 10lbs once you start to eat 'normally' after dieting and losing a large amount of weight. A big proportion of that is water weight from your glycogen stores replenishing themselves. If you panic and use it as an excuse to eat unlimited amounts of whatever you want, then you will start storing fat again.

Yes, I do put on about half a stone after a weekend of indulgent eating, but it goes again very quickly, often in 3 days. I have always thought this was the water the extra food needed to be digested. If you don't give it time to settle it will soon be gone. I'm also fairly sure that the depths of winter make you hungry, miserable and very prone to over eat. It was very sunny here today and yesterday and I'm back on track. if I get down to 8st 12 this summer (2 stone and a bit lost, nearly 2 stone to go) I will try to remember this and factor it in next winter.

I am with you!

I've reached post menopause, and the weight just won't shift like it used to. I only need to lose a stone, but three weeks in and not a single pound has gone. However, my clothes feel slightly looser, so I am convinced something is moving somewhere - it's probably redistributing around my body and it's crept somewhere I can't see it.

I've probably got gigantic knees.

But I work on the principle of not punishing myself. So I will eat low cal food for five days and let myself have a couple of days of eating more the things I like. So not going mad, but not only eating salad.

Plus, I've got really awful teeth, so chewing things is quite hard. Which makes food like cake that much more appealing! I can't eat carrot to save my life, except by bolting it like a dog that's stolen a steak.

Yep, another one here OP.

Six weeks ago I gave up dieting for good. I've had a few previous attempts (it was around the age of 40 I realised dieting was no longer working for me and I'm about to turn 46, so it's taken me that long to make the decision) but this time there's no going back. I like food too much. I'm sick of depriving myself even the tiniest bit of pleasure because it'll either a) result in a binge or b) lead to an instant 2lb weight gain that'll take another fortnight for me to shift. Since stopping I reckon I've gained about 3lbs but I don't know for sure as I slung out my scales when I stopped. I'm just going by my clothes now. Interestingly, as part of the process I've quit drinking Diet Coke - I used to fill up on it to stop myself feeling hungry so I didn't see the reason to continue. Bizarrely I've stopped craving sweet crap and when I read up on it I think it might be because of this. So if any of you drink Diet Coke as a healthy option, it might be worth trying to stop!

OP I haven’t read the whole thread but wanted to share something that helped me to stop eating junk food (Dominoes etc) - I watched a couple of documentaries (like the McDonalds one) about what’s in highly processed food and what it does to your body and it honestly put me off. Just knowing it’s pumped full of chemicals, cheap fat and sugar and that manufacturers cynically do that to get you addicted, made me start feeling queasy when I ate it, and I’m really not a clean eating person naturally! Have s browse on Netflix if you have it.

Noo. People advising you to go vegan when you love carbs - bad idea!! I went Vegetarian/Vegan Years ago & I've never gained weight so fast in my life - awful!!

There are a few ways you can go about this.

Eat carbs in the morning & not after 1pm. Try not to eat after 6pm, so there is a good gap between when you've eaten the day before to the next morning.

You just need to balance out your meals - MyFitnessPal is a great app for counting calories - there are calories hidden EVERYWHERE you'll be surprised.

Either do a low carb diet, or a keto diet (keto is a high fat & high protein one)
These can work really well when you're cutting, and allow yourself to have treat meals at the weekends! don't over indulge though, you need to train yourself to dislike that over full feeling that makes you feel sick. Also need to try tell yourself that you don't hate dieting cause you're putting a mental block on it this way.

What "normal" foods would you eat? If you make certain recipes it can actually make healthy food taste better. What unhealthy ones would you eat if you could?

If anyone's interested, there's now a dedicated support thread for MNetters who want to give up dieting or who already have. You can find it here.

See with the greatest of respect for your decision Whatwould I see the notion of giving up dieting as giving up on myself (health, looks) in order to indulge my natural propensity towards greediness.

It's not a guilt-free option. I might get to enjoy the foods but when it comes to looking the way I'd want to it doesn't match up. and I've been there and done that, feeling chunky and nothing fits and I really don't want to go back to that.

Also you did mention your Diet Coke habit. I also don't mean this at all badly, but you can't have been eating & drinking your most knowledgable diet if you included Diet Coke as a diet aid.

I don't think you can have fully explored the full range of healthy eating options to be even considering including Diet Coke to fill up on. Diet Coke should form no part of any diet any time. it's an occasional treat drink, not a daily source of hydration or a food substitute.

Hey OP. I am you too. I have gone from 17 stone to 12 in five deprived years. I also think about everything I eat. Every tiny thing. I am at the point where I am resentful socialising or entertaining because that always seems to revolve around food/drink.

I carry my extra stone and a half well. I get told i shouldn't lose any more as I will be "too thin" . I exercise 6 days a week. I can find a way of turning most calorific recipes into low calorie versions that are just as tasty.

But like you, I am sick of it. Liquid breakfast and lunches this week to make up for the fish and chips at the weekend. One meal can set me back a whole weeks work.

It is exhausting. The planning. The explaining to people why you won't indulge in office treats again and again and again and again. The temptation and the actual relief when you get through the day and go to bed knowing you haven't fucked up.

Ugh.