To ask for £240 for hen party?

[Ihatemyclients]

Timely thread since there was another about hen party costs earlier!

I want to know - is this unreasonable for 2 nights' accommodation in a Scottish castle, all food, all decor / games / activities, and about 1.5 bottles of prosecco per person? So basically everything except additional alcohol the hens may want to bring.

I wanted it to cost a lot less than this but this is the cheapest I've managed to get it and still accommodate the bride's wishes. The main cost is the accommodation as options were limited for the number of people coming (she has a huge number of friends apparently!). I could make some savings by getting rid of the prosecco but it only knocks a couple of pounds off of the end bill (because I'm getting it dead cheap from a friend who is a wine merchant). On everything else I've gone as low as I think I reasonably can.

I just feel bad because I've resented being asked to pay through the nose for hen parties before. What do you think? Is it a totally unreasonable amount?

KitKats message is perfect

" I really could not be arsed with 2 days with a bunch of women that I may or may not entirely like, "

Yes-that would be it for me tbh.

Sounds ok if it includes accommodation and meals for every day.

@OneStepSideways would be sharing rooms (not beds) and each room has its own bathroom (based on the place I've provisionally chosen but it's not booked or anything)

As an aside, are these 18 all also invited to the whole wedding day? I have been invited to expensive hen dos in the past and then only been invited to the evening reception for the wedding. Really p'd me off that I was good enough to go to the hen do and fork out a fortune to make the bride feel popular and important but not good enough to make the wedding guest list.

@cloudtree I know - doesn't bear thinking about

@cloudtree yes, she's not having evening guests so everyone is invited to the whole day!

Thanks kitkat that's really helpful!

'And while flights from London to Scotland can be cheap if booked far enough in advance, the times are usually very inconvenient. The trains are very, very expensive - I paid £311 for a return from London to Edinburgh a few months ago!'

Yeah, or they leave out of Stanstead or Luton where you have to add on cost of travel to these places. On a budget I actually took a coach from Glasgow to London but it was to visit a friend. The train can be super expensive indeed. Still, the London people will need to take time off work at least to get over.

The sticking point of this type of set up is that the price goes up as people pull out.

And the £250

So evening meal Friday, breakfast, lunch, dinner Sat, breakfast and lunch Sun. Accommodation Fri and Sat. Activity for Sat? Some alcohol for Sat night?

It probably isn't too much for what you're doing but I would think it night just be too expensive full stop.

What is the plan for Friday night, Saturday after your activity? Will that cost? Do you need to keep hauling ass back to the castle to make dinner?

Dropping the Spa and booze that most people will do and drink won't drop it by much so I'd personally keep it I but maybe a "I can organise spa for an extra x pp in advance. If you dont want to commit or come, its x less. I can provide a bottle of prosecco each for x amount but if you want to provide your own its x off the bill

Chuffing hell, that sounds like a location wedding (which I'd feel quite bad about, putting people out to travel to). For a hen do? Yabu

Sounds like a lot of money for what it is. I'd imagine it's the accommodation bumping up the price? Yes, castle setting is lovely but once you've all had a few drinks no one will care. If she wants a spa day do a deal and go for food/drinks after. Stay in a travel lodge much cheaper? I've done a hen do in Edinburgh before. We just booked a place for 8 near the city centre. It's far too much and too long really.

To be honest I would probably attend for that price. The last hen I went on was 4 nights in Spain for £300. Your best bet is to speak to your friend and see what she thinks. Do you have any contact details for the people attending to see what budgets they have in mind? I organised my own hen in terms of where and booking hotel and trains and activity. My sister organised the games, food etc. It's a lot of responsibility to put on someone! I feel for you I really do!

2 considerations- taxi/car hire/ or divert friends to do run from public transport in city to Castle in countryside = time/more cost/ hassle
You may have the lodge at Castle where you can make as much noise as you like, but if sleeping in main building and certainly during communal activities if it is a spa, everyone else is paying a fortune for relaxation and piece and quiet. A large group of friends, no matter how well behaved tend to get loud when excited and prosecco'd up so it could be a miss match all round - hens can't let their hair down, everyone else gritting their teeth
Tell the bride not to stress, go cheap and simple

The op has said of the 18, 2 are lower income, the rest have above average wages and no children.

On the face of it, for 16 it should be affordable, but that doesn't mean they would want to go. The bride might be prepared to pay for the 2 who can't afford it (are either family?).

Price it for 12, discuss with the bride along with if she thinks it'll be too much for any of them.

Definitely don't assume everyone else will be free. (First week of September it will really depend where the teacher works - if she's in Scotland she won't be able to get a day off, south of the boarder she might need to work that week too)

I think it seems ok. But I don't mind paying for nice hotels and I have the disposable income. If others have no idea what it's going to cost it could be quite a shock.

OP for my friends hen weekend we booked lodges at www.duchally.co.uk/. We had 2 nights accommodation in 4 or 5 lodges, each sleeping six.

First night we did food and drink in brides lodge, everyone brought some sort of food and drink and it was one massive buffet. Next day we had organised beauty therapists to come and they did gel nails and massages at extra cost for whoever wanted, so if you didn’t want it or couldn’t afford it you could opt out. Then we had a meal in the resort hotel booked for the second night and some people not staying for the weekend just came along to that. The hotel also had a spa and pool etc so people could choose to pay and use these facilities if they liked.

The main package we offered all the hens who came all weekend was 2 nights accommodation, a breakfast pack in each lodge (milk, bacon, rolls, eggs, tea and coffee etc) and the meal on second night and that came to about £120, then people could choose what they spent on treatments, drinks and food that they brought along with them for the buffet night and any other extras chosen.

This worked really well and it was a brilliant weekend. Also Scotland and within driving distance of Edinburgh.

Ahem - meant peace and quiet

'Doesn't the bride usually cover part of the cost or throw a few hundred at it from the wedding budget? '

Haahaa! Nowadays the bride expects to be paid for on these things.

This just as another idea is £730 for a cabin for 6 people at start of sept for 3 nights which gives options as to what nights people could come for and it’s got a hot tub. Just get some asda pizzas, crisps, dips and a carry out and bobs your uncle!
www.forestholidays.co.uk/search-detail?ct=edbd5e0b-403d-4ef7-8c15-520ae97006d3&loc=468bfc3f-c237-4d92-a99d-0c73face813a&bed=3&pet=Y&st=07%2f09%2f2018+00%3a00%3a00&dda=N&dur=3

Sounds like extremely good value for 2 nights accommodation, activities , food and drink. Whether people will want to spend it on a hen night is a matter only you or the bride can judge,

I think that, if you do go ahead with this plan, then you should definitely manage expectations.

"Dear All. I've found a great place that can accommodate us all in sept. They can provide ensuite accom, Activities, etc. But just to put you in the picture, it'll be around £300 per head if 8 of us book, or we could reduce if to £240 if all 18 of us book. Catering will be on top. Can you let me know whether to think you'll be able to come do that I can finalise the price for those who are free. MOH"

Yeah, but if they're coming into Edinburgh, then they all have to get out to Callendar if you're looking at the Strathyre one, Wee. I've stayed at a Forest Holiday cabin in Ardgarten. It was lovely, but it is 2 miles outside of Arrochar where there is little to do and it is quite the drive from Edinburgh (we live about 40 mins from it though so it wasn't a big deal for us). The one in Ardgarten is fun, if you're a hillwalker . I am and we did the Cobbler from there. But it's definitely for hanging out in, not going out.

When you consider the people coming from other places like London have to get into Edinburgh and then find a way to get out the countryside, and then do that in reverse on Sunday, it's a bit of a kerfuffle.

I wouldn't go, I'm a bridesmaid and having to pay £50 for my place on the hen do at a spa (my idea of hell) which I'm unhappy enough about.

Even if i was a bridesmaid to this woman, I could not fork out £240 and would have to decline.

And just to add, everyone on the list was emailed with details of costs in advance and invited to give feedback. Once agreed it was booked with everyone having to pay an initial deposit to the organiser, then remainder of balance to be paid by a certain date. Price included paying for the bride with an extra couple of treatments thrown in for her.