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Original poster

To ask for £240 for hen party?

605 replies

Ihatemyclients · 19/03/2018 15:22

Timely thread since there was another about hen party costs earlier!

I want to know - is this unreasonable for 2 nights' accommodation in a Scottish castle, all food, all decor / games / activities, and about 1.5 bottles of prosecco per person? So basically everything except additional alcohol the hens may want to bring.

I wanted it to cost a lot less than this but this is the cheapest I've managed to get it and still accommodate the bride's wishes. The main cost is the accommodation as options were limited for the number of people coming (she has a huge number of friends apparently!). I could make some savings by getting rid of the prosecco but it only knocks a couple of pounds off of the end bill (because I'm getting it dead cheap from a friend who is a wine merchant). On everything else I've gone as low as I think I reasonably can.

I just feel bad because I've resented being asked to pay through the nose for hen parties before. What do you think? Is it a totally unreasonable amount?

OP posts:
TheJoyOfSox · 20/03/2018 13:57

Over £200 for a hen party would be too much for me to justify. I’d much rather spend that sort of money on something that I actually want to do.

For a weekend of ‘enforced fun’ with a group that I maybe know half of, I’d not want to spend half that amount. Maybe I’m tight, but that does seem an expensive hen do.

Redpony1 · 20/03/2018 16:16

My 'all in' hen party budget is always £100 - even for my close friends. My money is spent on other priorities, i don't go on holiday because staying away isn't my thing, and forced activities are even less my thing!

ShatnersWig · 20/03/2018 16:17

Been busy all day. Just popped on to see if Bean had come up with lots of examples of where I have a problem with women. No?

KendalMintCakey · 20/03/2018 16:28

bit steep!

FlyingMonkeys · 20/03/2018 16:31

I definitely think it's the rise in social media dictating things. People increasingly feel the need to 'one up'. It wasn't that many years ago when you were lucky to have a school disco when you were leaving school. Now proms are a massive thing, £100's on dresses, make up, suits, transport.

Gudgyx · 20/03/2018 16:42

I'd pay that much for a friends hen weekend.

What we have did for my friends hen weekend next year, is that her MOH has offered up her savings account to us. Everyone who wants to (I THINK we all are) pays £20/£30 a month, whatever they can afford, into the MOH savings account. Then when the bride decides where she wants to go, we can just book it as the money will be there.

We've been doing that since last year, so by the time the hen comes we should have saved enough.

Of course that only works if everyone knows/trusts the party with the savings account, which we all do.

Gudgyx · 20/03/2018 16:43

And it tends to be only close friends/family who go to the big hen do, there will be a local night out for those who want to attend that. I'm doing that with another friends hen do this year, as I couldn't afford to contribute monthly last year.

IanWW · 20/03/2018 17:25

That’s a good deal indeed. Very reasonable.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 20/03/2018 17:27

Not a bad deal at all for a lovely weekend away, but not everyone may want to / be able to spend that much. Especially if there is much travel involved.
Might depend on the group of friends though, especially if you’ve been away with this group before.

Lillithxxx · 20/03/2018 17:31

Not unreasonable if the bride is paying for everyone. If she isn’t though...

Hellsbellscockleshells · 20/03/2018 17:35

I couldn’t afford that. It sounds lovely and I would have loved to do something like that for my 50th birthday celebration but as it was I didn’t expect my friends to cough up that kind of money and we certainly couldn’t afford to so I just had a lunch locally with one group of friends and a lunch with family another day. It was all very tame and not really what I wanted but then you can’t expect everyone else to be equally excited and equally willing to blow their budgets on my special day nor can this bride unless all her friends are equally wealthy.
I would give the bride coatings and get her to email everyone asking them to pay up or pay half by the end of this week before you book anything definite or costs will spiral for everyone and you could maybe also be liable.

ReanimatedSGB · 20/03/2018 17:36

Well, I wouldn't go. I don't have that much spare money, and if I did, a hen party weekend is not what I would spend it on. But if all the guests are people on good wages and/or very close friends of the bride then it's their business.

beanii · 20/03/2018 17:38

I hate all of this unnecessary expense - what happened to a girls night out around the local town - no wonder people complain they can't afford to get onto the housing ladder!!

inamechangedforthispost · 20/03/2018 17:39

Haven't rtft but the most recent hen weekend I went on was £272 which included all food, activities and a fair amount of drink. Only one person didn't go because of cost.

We had plenty of notice though and those that wanted to could pay in instalments.

Compared to her husbands night in the tub it was expensive, but compared to the £2000 my husband has been asked to stump up for a stag do in Vegas it was cheap!

AimeeNoOneTheSamee · 20/03/2018 17:40

Holy shit. That’s a lot of money OP.

pollymere · 20/03/2018 17:41

It seems a lot. I wouldn't pay that for a romantic weekend for two! I also would drink only a glass or two of prosecco. I'd probably decline the invite.

NorthernKnickers · 20/03/2018 17:45

I couldn’t afford that...and actually you’re really talking more in the region of £300 when you add in travel, drinks, other extras, even for the local people. Also, I’d absolutely HATE a spa weekend (or anything actually with enforced time spent with other people!) I’d JUST about manage an evening out with a large group of women I possibly didn’t know. A whole weekend? No way in hell 😩 Can’t think of anything worse to be honest. I’d be declining. Don’t envy you having to organise this OP...good luck!

Timetochange72 · 20/03/2018 17:46

Well mine is that for a trip to Spain for 2 nights. My lot were able to pay over a year though as I arranged it early. However I found everything in this country was so expensive I don’t think you will get it much cheaper, for a weekend away including food. It’s really hard x

YellowMakesMeSmile · 20/03/2018 17:49

I think a bride wanting an expensive (and time consuming) hen do needs to remember that marriage is about the exchanging of vows and lifetime commitment and it's all about them.

I paid for my own hen do as it felt very wrong to make guests pay for any part of it. It's like being invited to a party then charged for the privilege.

LockedOutOfMN · 20/03/2018 17:50

If you have given the hens a ballpark figure that's close to 240 pounds, OP, and they're happy to pay that much, then fine.

Otherwise you could go for one night instead of two?

Timetochange72 · 20/03/2018 17:51

I think it’s whatever the bride and her hens want to be, why not go away it’s a good excuse, as long as everyone is happy. They won’t come if not

expatinscotland · 20/03/2018 17:52

'but compared to the £2000 my husband has been asked to stump up for a stag do in Vegas it was cheap!'

Tell me he didn't go. What a fucking cheek to expect people to pay that.'

Yeah, see, it's not £240. more like £300-500 when you consider alcohol and if someone pulls out then you'll need to pay even more.

L3e1gh · 20/03/2018 17:52

I think it’s reasonable for a weekend away but we all know we always end up spending more once actually there so that will happen. I’m in London and if I had to pay the travel I’d rather go for two nights as a night out wouldn’t be worth it and I’d have to pay for a hotel for one night anyway. It does however get irritating that other people’s weddings end up costing so much once you’ve bought a gift, outfit, hens/stags, drinks etc etc

PlumsGalore · 20/03/2018 17:53

I think it's a reasonable amount for what you are getting BUT no way would I pay that for a hen,, I would spend it on an EasyJet to a European city for a couple of nights instead with DH and best friends.

Sorry, I wouldn't pay a penny for games whatever they are.

Contesse · 20/03/2018 17:55

Sorry that's a ridiculous amount of money and includes a fairly mean amount of alcohol for two nights.