Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To anyone wanting to leave and being told "and you will be entitled to child support"

108 replies

Njordsgrrrl · 17/03/2018 23:03

Get this letter.

You will have noticed (I did two weeks ago) that your payment of £7 ( a fortnight) has not been received by us.

This is what will happen now.

You will not receive this payment.

I'm going to adopt this approach to all my financial dealings.

"Dear British Gas, you will have noticed no payment has come in.

What will happen now?

You will not receive this payment.

It's a good enough excuse for the CSA who have collected about £90 in eighteen years.

Doing it.

OP posts:
YellowMakesMeSmile · 17/03/2018 23:12

It's not the CSAs fault, it's the NRP who is choosing not to pay surely?

We all choose who to have as the father of our children and know the risks if reliant on them financially.

Original poster
Njordsgrrrl · 17/03/2018 23:12

Dear HMRC

You will have noticed that you haven't received a payment.

What will happen now?

There will be no payment.

Sorry.

Love from Njordsgrrl

It's a national disgrace.

IT IS THEIR JOB FFS

systems set up for men by men.

OP posts:
Original poster
Njordsgrrrl · 17/03/2018 23:16

Its not the CSA's fault!?

It's their mandate, their purpose!

I'll hold by hand up for my bad decisions but this is a huge organisation so what are they actually doing?

(I'd like a job there tbh how much of a skive would that be?)

OP posts:
ourkidmolly · 17/03/2018 23:17

@YellowMakesMeSmile

Why did you post that? I mean just why? On a site whose whole purpose is to support parents. Congratulations on the fantastic choices you've made all your life. Sleep easy in the knowledge that your heartfelt words have lightened the load.

ourkidmolly · 17/03/2018 23:18

@Njordsgrrrl

Unbelievable. I think the word organisation doesn't apply to them. Totally unfit for purpose.

UpstartCrow · 17/03/2018 23:20

The CSA wrote to me to tell me I did not owe my ex child support as our DC's live with me, and included a bill for £40.

Reader, I did not pay.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/03/2018 23:22

They are a pathetic toothless excuse of an organisation. Institutionalised misogyny at its worst.
We should all be angry about the Op’s Experience. It is happening all over the country.

Original poster
Njordsgrrrl · 17/03/2018 23:28

Thank you kindly people.

I didn't expect to be attacked within one post.

With a terrible argument.

AIBU must be seething these days but thanks and I'm also so sorry you have had similar experiences.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/03/2018 23:30

yellow fuck off with the victim blaming

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 17/03/2018 23:33

Totally unfit for purpose.

Absolutely this. They are an appalling excuse of an organisation. I would love to spend a week undercover in their office to see what they actually do all day.

NewYearNewMe18 · 17/03/2018 23:43

Possibly seen as playing devils advocate, but how do you get money from someone who (ostensibly) isn't working? Has no (visible) income? Maybe on welfare themselves?

Thehogfather · 17/03/2018 23:48

I would absolutely love to organise a national campaign where every parent owed maintanence skipped a council tax payment on the same month and instead sent that letter as explanation.

I once had one that basically said 'we have looked again at your claim as you requested. And we agree he owes you a fortune. However at this time we are unable to enforce this' Because of course locating someone at their fucking address and place of work is really impossible.

yellow people don't choose to have a nrp who doesn't pay. Being an ignorant twat and posting to prove it on the other hand is very much a choice

Thehogfather · 17/03/2018 23:51

not tbf they're so incompetent it probably takes the entire staff all day to figure out how to even unlock the door and get in the office.

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 17/03/2018 23:51

but how do you get money from someone who (ostensibly) isn't working? Has no (visible) income? Maybe on welfare themselves?

You reform the whole system. But there is no profit in that for those with the power to do it so....

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 17/03/2018 23:51

Grin hog

HelenaDove · 17/03/2018 23:54

FFS Yellow give your hatred of women a rest just for once.

Japanesejazz · 17/03/2018 23:55

Earning £175,000 a year. Contract sent to CMS for proof. Self employed. Pays himself via Isle of Man. Maintenance awarded. £100 per month. Based on his self assessment tax returns. You couldn’t make it up!

Minestheoneinthegreen · 17/03/2018 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

reallybadidea · 17/03/2018 23:56

I think there should be a minimum (but no maximum) amount that every single absent parent has to pay for their child regardless of their income. If they can't or won't pay it then it becomes a debt that follows them for the rest of their lives and that they cannot escape through bankruptcy. The resident payment should be paid this by the government who then chases the absent parent for like they would any other unpaid tax. No escape.

willsa · 17/03/2018 23:57

Possibly seen as playing devils advocate, but how do you get money from someone who (ostensibly) isn't working? Has no (visible) income? Maybe on welfare themselves?

There are countries in Europe where government pays the child maintenance and then retrieves that payment from the man ( usually a man ) every month. Any payments not made are totalled up and can be claimed against person's assets, inheritance, future earnings and pensions at any given time. Because that debt is in fact a debt to the government, try and hide from that. Institutions are MUCH more likely to chase their own money.

So the answer is: change of laws is needed.

reallybadidea · 17/03/2018 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HelenaDove · 17/03/2018 23:59

Actually there is one person who really should take Yelllows advice.

Her potential daughter in law whoever that may be.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/03/2018 00:00

They put them in prison where I live. Take their driving licence away, don't give them tax rebates; all kinds of fun stuff.

There are ways to do it. The UK CHOOSES not to make absent normally male parents pay. While vilifying mainly female single parents.

Japanesejazz · 18/03/2018 00:06

Which when we have a female prime minister and a female head of state is .........

Graphista · 18/03/2018 00:08

15 years, no regular payments, probably owed £1000's, no way I could have predicted (yellow has a crystal ball clearly - not! Yellow just likes to bash single mums among others I generally ignore that poster now).

Would make MUCH more sense if (as suggested many times on maintenance threads) maintenance was deducted at source from all nrps along with their income tax seeing as it's administered by the same dept.

Hmrc should also be pursuing the "self employed" nrps who CLAIM to live on £5 a week - yet SOMEHOW manage to have a second family sahm with no independent source of income), 4-bed detached house with all mod cons, nice car, regular holidays etc I mean COME ON! Not ONLY abdicating their responsibilities to their children but not paying their taxes!

Make it a crime - financial neglect - investigate and prosecute regularly - watch the amount of nrps paying suddenly increase!