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Original poster

To anyone wanting to leave and being told "and you will be entitled to child support"

108 replies

Njordsgrrrl · 17/03/2018 23:03

Get this letter.

You will have noticed (I did two weeks ago) that your payment of £7 ( a fortnight) has not been received by us.

This is what will happen now.

You will not receive this payment.

I'm going to adopt this approach to all my financial dealings.

"Dear British Gas, you will have noticed no payment has come in.

What will happen now?

You will not receive this payment.

It's a good enough excuse for the CSA who have collected about £90 in eighteen years.

Doing it.

OP posts:
MorningsEleven · 18/03/2018 08:37

Ex BIL really played the system - job hopping, assets in other people's names, giving false addresses. When they finally caught up with him he jacked everything in and went on a gap year, which conveniently ended just after his daughter left full time education.

irishe · 18/03/2018 11:46

These stories of parents taking no financial responsibility for their children are rage inducing.

I firmly believe that this should be a criminal offence, with prison sentences as the ultimate deterrent after 'normal' processes fail.

We need a seismic shift in how this is viewed by society. It can be done, changes do happen if there is a will.

For example, driving under the influence of alcohol, wearing of seat belts, were not taken seriously without a change in the law.

It appears though that this is not viewed by the government as a priority? I have never even heard it discussed on the usual current affairs programmes. It is a national shame.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 18/03/2018 14:03

These stories of parents taking no financial responsibility for their children are rage inducing. I firmly believe that this should be a criminal offence, with prison sentences as the ultimate deterrent after 'normal' processes fail

Yes, it should be a criminal offence to not financially provide for both the PWC and NRP. Plenty of both don't bother and don't see anything wrong with that choice and society approves it by there being no penalties on them.

AskBasil · 18/03/2018 14:41

Bullshit.

Parents with care provide a home, clothes and food at the very least for their children, even if they provide absolutely nothing else.

Don't try and pretend there is anything like the level of financial abuse and deprivation that PWC's inflict, that even approaches the levels inflicted by NRP's.

This pretence that it's equal is bollocks.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 18/03/2018 17:35

Of course it can be equal, lots of NRPs pay nothing towards their children and likewise lots of PWC don't work so anything a child has is provided by the state. Both are not financially supporting the child, somebody else is.

Some NRP pay a token gesture and some PWC work the magic sixteen hours to net maximum benefits so again the child is being paid for in the majority by others.

So yes, both should be held accountable if neither is paying or doing just a token gesture towards finances.

NeverTwerkNaked · 18/03/2018 17:43

Agree yellow DP’s ex does this, she doesn’t want to increase her hours as her benefits will go down, so spends 2 days a week swanning around while they are at school. But she doesn’t want him to have them more nights as otherwise her CM will go down.

NeverTwerkNaked · 18/03/2018 17:44

Playing the system to sponge off your ex/ the state is just as scuzzy as hiding your earnings/ refusing to pay CM

HelenaDove · 18/03/2018 17:45

Yellow dont be so fucking ridiculous The mental gymnastics you perform really shows your passionate hatred of women.

It would be on the national news due to SS taking loads of kids into care if PWC were "neglecting" their children on the scale suggested by you.

I bet youve got a son. And i bet your future DIL will be posting on the Relationships board in years to come if hes been brought up with your belief system.

AnyFucker · 18/03/2018 18:04

Any excuse for a bit of woman-benefits-single mothers-SAHM- bashing, eh yellow ?

Graphista · 18/03/2018 20:31

I think the mistake may be in assuming yellow is a woman.

AnyFucker · 18/03/2018 23:10

I think yellow is a woman

There is a particular type of manpleasing article that thinks like this. Rare, but real.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 18/03/2018 23:28

We all choose who to have as the father of our children and know the risks if reliant on them financially

Yeah, we all have a crystal ball that tells what will be 15 years or so later, don’t we?

Playing the system to sponge off your ex/ the state is just as scuzzy as hiding your earnings/ refusing to pay CM

Scuzzy? Ah, so you’re the one who taught your child to taunt mine with ‘single mum Benefit scum’ in the playground. You must be so proud.

I’m a full time teacher, by the way, but I claim all I can so most definitely I am scuzzy and proud!

MadMags · 18/03/2018 23:40

AND I HAVE LOST HIM TO MY EX

How on earth did that happen??

I don’t believe the posters on here sometimes. It’s got fuck all to do with being financially dependent on someone while you’re in a relationship and contributing in ways other than financial.. Fuck sake.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 19/03/2018 01:24

Agree yellow DP’s ex does this, she doesn’t want to increase her hours as her benefits will go down, so spends 2 days a week swanning around while they are at school

OMG a woman who does things without her children 😱😱😱😱

Playing the system to sponge off your ex/ the state is just as scuzzy as hiding your earnings/ refusing to pay CM

Hmm

What's even more scuzzy is getting pissed off because your boyfriend pays for his children.

You do realise maintenance is based on the NRP's earnings, not the RP's? So if your boyfriend's 'scuzzy' ex was out of work, or if she won the lottery, he'd be paying the same amount??

I hope she does win the lottery, and then drops her kids off at yours in a scuzzy Ferrari

BitchQueen90 · 19/03/2018 05:47

yellow is constantly popping up on these threads. She hates anyone who is on benefits, gets tax credits, is a SAHM or even suggests that the man should be responsible for his children too. Maybe if the father stepped up and did his fair share of childcare or helping to pay for childcare then there would be less women having to rely on benefits. Assuming yellow has never been on them or been a single parent or a SAHM then she should mind her bloody business.

Sorry you're in this situation OP. The system is pretty rubbish when it comes to things like this.

BitchQueen90 · 19/03/2018 05:49

yellow your bitterness towards others is pretty sad. You must have a very unhappy life to hate other women so much.

NeverTwerkNaked · 19/03/2018 06:56

I know that, we pay for a lot more than what he is required to. I wouldn’t see the children go without anything. But she comes asking for money all the time, yet I have children too and work twice the hours she does.

NeverTwerkNaked · 19/03/2018 06:57

And cherry no I don’t think it is ok for people to expect the State to pay for a lifestyle choice. benefits should be for people who cant earn not for those who choose not to

ClaryFray · 19/03/2018 07:02

They were hell on earth. Had arrears for years, until finally the got him go pay up. Cleared it, then they magically found more!!!

This company is shite

megletthesecond · 19/03/2018 07:09

This always drives me nuts on here. Being told a lone parent is entitled to child support means nothing, thousands of NRPs wriggle out of paying anything.

Rather like the you'll get "every other weekend off so he'll have to look after his kid's " comment. Not if he doesn't want to. (Disclaimer I've always received full maintenance without fail but xp decided he didn't want to see the dc's 8yrs ago so I never have a break).

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 19/03/2018 07:23

My ex and certain people who know both of us seem to think he’s some kind of hero for paying child support. I beg to differ. He pays the minimum legal amount set by CMS and nothing else, and sure, it’s better than nowt but come ON. These are his children too- damn right he ought to pay for them! It’s the least he can do for them considering he’s efforts elsewhere are piss poor.

I will never understand why some men can behave so fucking appallingly and it’s still a woman’s fault and not their own. All because we should have known he’s a waste of oxygen before it became apparent.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 19/03/2018 07:32

yellow your bitterness towards others is pretty sad. You must have a very unhappy life to hate other women so much

Your concern is touching but my life is good.

I'm just fed up of seeing the effects on children through adults poor choices, be it male or female.

If others believe it's ok to not financially provide or do the bare minimum, be poor role models, subject chidren to partner after partner etc then society needs to change. Chidren can't escape, can't make things better for themselves and the effects will stay with them in adulthood. Some adults just don't care, their wants over ride everything else.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 19/03/2018 07:33

What lifestyle choice is the state paying for for your boyfriend'd ex Never?? Does she have an expensive hobby.

Do you expect single mums to be eating bread and dripping and be in poverty, because anything else is a lifestyle choice? And BTW your fella doesn't get brownie points because he lays more than the bare minimum. He SHOULD pay as much as he can. And it's not the exe's money, it's for his kids.

Honestly the hatred and jealousy of women on this thread stinks

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 19/03/2018 07:38

In hat case Yellow maybe look to the parents (vast majority of whom are men) fucking their kids over by owing them £4bn in child maintenance. The CMS does bugger all to help these people. The OP has had £90 from her ex in 8 years. Assuming CM is 20% of your wage, do you really think her ex has only earned £450 in that time?? No, he's making money somewhere, and a service designed to support children is allowing men to skip out on their responsibilities.

Other countries have criminal records for these people, take away driving licenses etc, so why we can't is beyond me. The whole CMS system needs reforming and we need to start being loud about the non-payers and shaming them, NOT the mums who don't have a crystal ball to know that they will be fucked over in years to come.

But that won't satisfy the likes of you as it means you can't women-bash. You and Never and a huge part of the problem

NeverTwerkNaked · 19/03/2018 07:40

No I don’t cherry. But she has a job where she could work school hours and she chooses to claim benefits instead. Benefits that could go to those who need them

And I absolutely agree he should pay more than the minimum. Indeed I encourage him to spend money on them. Indeed I often spend my own money on them. Indeed I work extra hours to ensure they don’t go without anything. I still don’t know why his ex should smugly tell me how she plays the system with her hours to ensure she gets benefits (while living in a large house with no mortgage) while I am working overtime (after putting my young children to bed)to help fund their school trips etc? But you are trying to paint me as the bad guy Hmm