Aibu or is he?

[Pissedoff4]

Today I went shopping, took elderly neighbour with a broken arm with me too, so she could get some bits.

DP works nights and was in bed asleep. Got back about 12.30, neighbour came in, as I had to carry her shopping over, while I unpacked.

Got a text message from DP, while unpacking, of a middle finger emoji, thought he must be joking.

Anyhow, neighbour asked could I make her a sandwich, as she has broken her right arm and struggles with her left. Which I did, also made coffee and took a cup up for DP, gave him kiss etc.

While neighbour is eating her sandwich, DP comes down and says ‘are you having a fucking laugh’. I said if you want a sandwich just ask and il make one. He says ‘I’ve been a work all fucking night, if I want something il know to do it myself in future’.

Ive just asked if he wants to apologise and he thinks he has nothing to apologise for and I am ‘inconsiderate’ for not making him a sandwich.

I’ve basically told him he is being an arse and to grow up.

Your thoughts aibu, feel like a 12 year old, bloody sandwichgate. But he needs to apologise!

Finally, I thought he knew not to ask or by all means ask, if you are feeling lucky, but that he wouldn’t get! It’s like he was trying to find something to moan about.

He has had the how dare you speak to me like that, who do you think you are. He won’t be asking for toast again!

As I said, we don’t argue often, but when we do the underlying reason, for him being arsey about something, always seems to be me not putting him first in various situations. Of course, I tell him to grow up, stop being so needy, go live on your own and put yourself first etc! But that is the reoccurring theme.

It sounds like you don’t argue often because you are constantly trying to appease him. You only argue when you fail to meet his expectations?

@Pissedoff4

Sounds like he wants a mum to run around after him and wait on him hand and foot. He's an adult, a husband and a dad he won't be coming first now you have your son and if that's what he wants tell him to move back home to mummy's house if he wants waiting on hand and foot

Faith, I don’t do demands, not sure I am appeasing? Maybe I am without realising?

He swore at you in front of an elderly neighbour, as someone else pointed out up thread. What are you going to do about that? Never mind all the coffee toast and sandwiches etc.

OP you asked what I would have done? I would have apologised to the neighbour, then gone upstairs and gone fucking ballistic at the man child. There wouldn't be any coffee in or out of bed for anyone. It sounds bizarre.

He starts work at 12 and is back in the house at 4.30 and he has a 40 minute commute. So he finishes around 3.30 then. His night shift is 12-3.30.
Yes he’s tired as he’s been up and out during the night but he only works a few hours!

Staples i did apologise to my neighbour, I said that earlier in the thread. I don’t go fucking ballistic in front of my son.

Once my son was in bed, DP did get the how dare you speak to me like that, who do you think you are, stop being so needy, childish, if you want to be first go live on your own etc, as I said earlier too. Saturday morning he apologised for how he spoke to me. I didn’t make him breakfast/lunch/dinner on Saturday. He made his own lunch. He ordered a takeaway for a dinner. I went to bed to watch TV. He made a point of bringing me a glass of wine etc.

Sunday, i could have dragged it on, but as I said I hate an atmosphere. I was making food for myself and ds and I made him some. He apologised for his comments and acknowledged he was wrong.

Oh right ok, so its resolved now?

Staples yes thanks, sorted now with DP. Although now my neighbour has got quite demanding and expectant!!