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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 15/03/2018 08:13

When it is bin day we have to leave the bins at the end of our drive. If we forget I am assuming the binmen wouldn't come onto our property to get to our bins which are usually by the side of the house. So I wouldn't expect anyone else to come rooting through the bins when they are on our property either.

I hope you can get it back OP

BiologyMatters · 15/03/2018 08:15

I hope they give it back. Some people are unbelievable.

GlitteryPenguin · 15/03/2018 08:19

Good luck OP. Let us know how you get on. If this doesn’t work, please get the police involved - it’s theft of a very expensive object...

SparklyMagpie · 15/03/2018 08:33

Fingers crossed OP

I'd like to think she sees sense

NoFucksImAQueen · 15/03/2018 08:44

Wow I'm gobsmacked. How you refrained from strangling him when he said "what plant stand" I'll never know. I hope you get it back

notapizzaeater · 15/03/2018 08:51

Wow, the check of them, hope the wife helps

extinctspecies · 15/03/2018 09:49

Hope it works out for you OP.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 15/03/2018 10:12

I got it back. It’s destroyed. He’s varnished it and then painted it black. There are nails in it where he has nailed a massive table top onto it. The feet are warped where it’s been left in the garden. I knocked on the door after he left for work and cried when his dw opened the door. I explained the great sentimental value it has and she went and got it from the shed. She asked me not to tell him and she is going to tell him that she took it to the dump. My friend us coming later to see if he can restore it but I doubt it. What a fucking mess.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybellissimo · 15/03/2018 10:13

I asked her why they didn’t ask me initially if they could take it and she said they I was throwing it away.

OP posts:
FrolickingForklift · 15/03/2018 10:16

Im sure it can be repaired. I have a close friend who does this and can work wonders. Sadly the chances are it will cost more to repair properly than its worth but as the real value lies in the sentimentality I'm sure it will be worthwhile.

wholenewoutlook · 15/03/2018 10:18

OP I'm so glad you have it back.
Forget the financial value: it would have been adversely affected by the repolish you planned anyway so it isn't about that. It's the sentimental value which is important here and your friend can strip the varnish back, repolish. You will have the stand back, albeit a little worse for wear, but still, the stand your friend left you.
Your neighbours thought they were upcycling your rubbish. They (He) lied yesterday but really they didn't deliberately steal from you. He sounds a bit of an idiot but probably not worth souring neighbourly relations further over.

fitbitbore · 15/03/2018 10:20

What a vile Man you live next door to!!

diddl · 15/03/2018 10:20

" really they didn't deliberately steal from you. "

Of course they did!

They went onto her property & took something.

pigshavecurlytails · 15/03/2018 10:22

Depends how far you want to take it. I'd be asking for £500 as compensation or I'd involve the police. did you take a photo of it in their garden?

NoqontroI · 15/03/2018 10:24

Go and ask for it back. Don't say its financial value, just say about the sentimental value. If you don't it will bug you forever more.

NoqontroI · 15/03/2018 10:24

Just saw you got it back. Hope it cleans up.

littleskittle · 15/03/2018 10:30

It doesn't sound like the wife was to blame - she obviously felt bad. So glad you got it back, hope something can be done to fix the damage and remove the black paint. Thanks

Avasarala · 15/03/2018 10:36

Im so sorry OP.

They might not be able to do much about the warping, but hopefully you'll have some luck with stripping the varnish and getting it polished up. What a horrible man.

Did she say anything or apologise for their behaviour last night? The lies, then hiding it and lieing some more. I'd feel so much more energy about that; taking it was a stupid, inconsiderate thing to do but then lieing to you... that's what's made me feel so angry for you.

Avasarala · 15/03/2018 10:38

Don't be too worried about the nails; they can be removed, holes filled with plastic wood and then given a nice finish. As long as the paint and varnish can be stripped back, you'll have the same stand you've always had.

AuroraBora · 15/03/2018 10:45

Fuck me OP, what a raging cunt your neighbour is Shock

I’d be tempted to go round and say you have it back, you know he ruined it, and he’s trashed something worth £500. But sometimes life is too short, especially if he makes your life hell for it. And he’ll probably make his wife’s life hell too, because he sounds like that sort of person.

Your husband should be ashamed too. He hasn’t exactly supported you through this.

I really hope your friend can restore it, even if it costs you a lot, sometimes it’s worth it for sentimental items Flowers

Imsosceptical · 15/03/2018 10:51

If they actually came onto your property and took it I would be pretty peed off, if it was left out on the street next to bins then its an honest mistake, however, for your peace of mind you need to have a chat with them, its clearly ruined but it has sentimental value to you and getting it off your chest (and also hearing to their side of the story) will allow you to put the matter to rest and move on, and hopefully maintain good neighbour relations ongoing xxx

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 15/03/2018 10:58

He's clearly a lying toad, but the police won't pursue a case where an object placed by the bins was removed by someone else.
Your neighbour unfortunately has a basis for claiming he thought it had been dumped, it would never stand up in court.

sparklepops123 · 15/03/2018 11:01

Glad you've got it back and hope you can try and restore it. Your neighbour is a lying thief. Good luck Thanks

Louiselouie0890 · 15/03/2018 11:05

Oh no fingers crossed he can do something

DobbyisFREE · 15/03/2018 11:25

He's an arse but I feel sorry for his poor wife.

If she feels like she has to cover up the fact that she gave your property back he must not be very nice to her at all. Sad