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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
SciFiRocker · 15/03/2018 11:33

Your DH is an arse for starters! He should stand by you.
They PURPOSELY came into your property and took something.
Is it ok if they go through your bins and take your bank statements out because you were throwing it out?!?!

Secondly I would get a quote for it being fixed and send them the bill and warn if they don't pay it then you will be taking them to small claims court.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 15/03/2018 11:44

They are thieves! As you are right they should have asked! It's just rude.
I'd go round there seriously and also tell them they have made a valuable object worthless.
I'd feel seriously embarrassed if I was them.

Titaniumpins · 15/03/2018 11:47

I'm sure they did think you were chucking it but to lie to your face when you went round instead of apologising and handing it over what an absolute git. I wonder if you can pursue him for the damages after all (and I'm no lawyer) I'm pretty sure if its on your property by the bins or not then its theft whether intentional or not. I dont agree with the OP. Maybe a lawyer on here can confirm? Or they can pay for it or its restoration. I am appalled for you not as much over the intial mistake but the lying afterwards.

Titaniumpins · 15/03/2018 11:49

I meant OP as in another poster who thought it wasn't theft as by the bins. get confused with these ACRONYMS

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 15/03/2018 11:49

Sorry just read update further down! I'd be so upset and billing the fuckers for it...it was on your property so they stole it.

HiggeldyPigsinblankets · 15/03/2018 11:50

it was awful that it was taken, especially given the huge sentimental value, but nobody would leave £500 in an envelope, a piece of jewellery, a iphone or ipad outside on their property, even if it was hidden and just for 5 minutes, because of there is a risk of it being taken. People do leave stuff next to bins, even knowing the bin men wont take it, because if it is still useful the chances are someone will take it.

I really hope the stand can be restored,

diddl · 15/03/2018 11:51

"Your neighbour unfortunately has a basis for claiming he thought it had been dumped, "

How so?

It was next to the bins on Op's drive-not put out for collection with them!

Thequeenisdeadboys · 15/03/2018 11:51

Cheeky bastards. Haven't read all replies so sorry if repeating but I would bloody well go around and explain what has happened, why it was there and how upset you were to see it in their garden. Can't believe they didn't mention it to you ! Hope you are re-united with it. X

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 15/03/2018 11:52

Bollocks to they thought it was rubbish! They had no idea what it was and they didn’t check to ask.

They stole it. I’d go round and explain to them in no uncertain terms what it is and demand it back. I’m sure the police would be interested that they have taken property worth £500 from your driveway!

(Although triple check it’s yours because I’d do that and it would turn out half way through it’s from B and M and I just looked like a nutter!)

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 15/03/2018 11:53

Sorry I’ve just read you’ve got it back. What a bastard. Hopefully it will restore Op!

Thequeenisdeadboys · 15/03/2018 11:54

randallandhopkirk Excellent !! Grin

AnnieAnoniMouse · 15/03/2018 11:55

I’m glad you got it back. I’m sorry it’s probably beyond repair, but at least you know what happened to it.

Her husband sounds like a nasty git.

Yours doesn’t sound a lot better. Who the hell does he think he is telling you who you can and can’t speak to, then losing his shit when you don’t ‘do as you’re told’. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Ljlsmum · 15/03/2018 11:55

How bloody dare they? Some people ask that deliveries are hidden behind bins so are they now fair game too? I could understand if it was bin day and by the end of the drive/kerb but not when it’s on your property where you usually store the bin.

Thequeenisdeadboys · 15/03/2018 11:55

Oooh! She has it back ! All's well that ends well !

AnnieAnoniMouse · 15/03/2018 11:59

She left it ON HER DRIVEWAY it’s completely irrelevant whether that was next to her bins or in the middle of a front lawn. It was on her property, not out on the street with her bins.

afreshnewname · 15/03/2018 12:00

Can we see a pic of it now?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 15/03/2018 12:00

thequeenisdeadboys

Seriously? He stole it, he lied about it and he destroyed it. HOW is that OK?

PositivelyPERF · 15/03/2018 12:02

I know you are dreadfully upset and understandably so, but if it is destroyed don’t get rid of it. If it can’t be repaired, ask an artist, wood carver or someone like that if they can create something from it, such as a giant candle stick. If you look around second hand shops you may be able to get replacement legs. I hope you get something sorted OP. 🌷

YellowFlower201 · 15/03/2018 12:03

I'm sorry it's in such a state OP. I hope your friend can do something to repair it. What a horrible neighbour you have. Give him a wide birth. Who would lie about something like this. He made a mistake and should have held his hands up. Why would he want to keep it? in the shed no less. He doesn't even need it. Horrible person!

FlouncyDoves · 15/03/2018 12:04

Live and learn. Don’t put things out by your bins.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 15/03/2018 12:04

It depends where you live, I suppose, diddl. In a small town police might have time to deal with this stuff, in a London suburb, probably not.

OneEpisode · 15/03/2018 12:05

My grandad made some nice furniture which my dad “adapted” in a heavy handed way and was never the same. Instead of asking your friend to restore, could you ask him to create something from the ingredients that you could enjoy in your home and remember your late friend? Or recommend someone?

iwanttoeatallthecarbs · 15/03/2018 12:08

How fucking quickly did he notice there was something behind your bin! What a prick! He shouldn't even have been on your property looking.

ohfourfoxache · 15/03/2018 12:10

My heart just dropped reading your update

I hope your friend can restore it Thanks

diddl · 15/03/2018 12:10

"It depends where you live, I suppose, diddl. In a small town police might have time to deal with this stuff,"

I didn't say anything about the police dealing with it-just that I don't see how the neighbour can claim it was dumped just because it was on a driveway near bins.

Leaving things on a driveway in full view-or even partially hidden by bins might not be wise & may be an invitation to thieves, but it doesn't mean that an item is rubbish & can just be taken.

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