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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
Avasarala · 14/03/2018 21:16

Basseating - Go round at night! Stealth rose bush trimming! Once you've got your cuttings, make the cut stems left on the plant look like they are broken and not cut.

Sorry OP; this is your thread so really sorry to hijack there.

blaaake · 14/03/2018 22:41

Urgh. I'd be inclined to go over the fence to get it back if you figure out where they've hidden it.

lauryloo · 14/03/2018 22:53

Good luck tomorrow op

Bramble71 · 14/03/2018 23:03

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If I was your neighbour, I would have asked. I also think you'd be perfectly reasonable to ask for it back.

sparklepops123 · 15/03/2018 06:50

This is disgusting, if I left something by my bin on my property it certainly isn't ok for anybody to trespass on my property to help themselves. The husband is being a total dick, like you say plead your case to the wife. And I'm sorry your husband shouldn't be going mad at you he should be backing you up! Good luck for today Thanks

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 15/03/2018 06:59

Right he leaves for work about 7.30 so I’ll go over then. Wish me luck

OP posts:
TheTab · 15/03/2018 07:04

I wouldn't just say something I would be absolutely furious. It is theft.

And in this day and age whose bloody bin men would take away a planter? They won't take your rubbish unless your wheelie lid is closed flat and your recycling sorted into one of 19 different boxes.

I can't believe your neighbours thought it was ok to a) take b) not mention it c) not know that bin men don't take random pieces of furniture

Gide · 15/03/2018 07:06

I think you’re going too far. They’ve ruined it, why do you want it back? You know he lied, the wife is unlikely to return it and may go to the police for harassment. You could tell the police yourself that they took it-theft by finding is a crime, but you were silly to leave it outside if it was so valuable.

Smellylittleorange · 15/03/2018 07:09

Ffs stop victim blaming
It is not Ops fault
She left the stand on her property
They stole it

Good luck OP if no luck straight onto police

Smellylittleorange · 15/03/2018 07:11

Our car is parked by the bin..perhaps it's ok for people to tresspass on my drive and steal it then?Hmm

C4T5 · 15/03/2018 07:17

Good luck today OP

ememem84 · 15/03/2018 07:21

Good luck. I’d be speaking to the police about it if you can’t get it back.

troodiedoo · 15/03/2018 07:22

Good luck OP Flowers

Bettyfood · 15/03/2018 07:23

Tell them they have two choices- either you collect it or the police will.

LakieLady · 15/03/2018 07:24

This has made quite unreasonably angry just reading it, OP, I'd have gone nuclear if I was in your shoes.

It is definitely theft, even taking something from a skip is theft, and if Mrs CF doesn't see sense when you speak to her, I'd definitely ring 101.

Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 15/03/2018 07:30

Good luck.

usernomnomnom · 15/03/2018 07:31

Good luck OP.

It's one thing to take it and not realise it was a sentimental item. It's an entirely different thing then denying taking it and subsequently hiding it.

AdalindSchade · 15/03/2018 07:34

If she won't give it back then just call the police immediately. Don't waste any more time.
Good luck

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/03/2018 07:35

Good luck!

demirose87 · 15/03/2018 07:47

It's your word against theirs' unfortunately. You can't prove that it is definitely your plant stand even if you know it is, and they will just repeat their side of the story.
I don't think you're going to get it back.

blueskyinmarch · 15/03/2018 07:53

I know you are upset by this but i reckon leaving something by your bins indicates you were throwing it out. It doesn't excuse them taking it without asking though. Hope you get it sorted out.

Wdigin2this · 15/03/2018 07:55

They stole it!!! Whether or not you'd left it by the bin, they should not have even [touched] it without asking you first! And the fact that it's been disguised and they've never even mentioned it, demonstrates they know they should have asked, and are feeling guilty! Yes, you should mention it. Perhaps say, I notice you have my planter in your garden, I wondered where it had gone, my friend was collecting it to restore for me....but it disappeared!! See what transpires!!

cambodianfoxhound · 15/03/2018 07:59

Good luck, although my gut feeling is they will continue to deny all knowledge... Even if you do get it back, it will be tarnished/damaged. Every time you see that damage it will bring back this unhappy memory.

Honestly, for your own peace of mind I would try and let it go. Feel the anger and frustration and let it pass. You don't need this item to honour your friend's memory, you do that every time you think of her and smile.

Maybe go out and buy something else for your own garden in remembrance. When our family had a bereavement, I bought a beautiful terracotta pot of Rosemary, with a slate inscription spike. Get something that gives you joy when you see it.

Notasunnybunny · 15/03/2018 08:00

They should have asked, just because something is near a bin does not make it ok to take, even if it were in a skip they should have asked. Knock and ask for it back.

WitchDancer · 15/03/2018 08:02

Fingers crossed she sees sense