To find the term 'child free' annoying?

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

I should also add that this thread is likely to be deeply hurtful and offensive to some of the members of this forum who have really, really struggled with infertility. You only have to look at some of the serious threads on this topic to feel a degree of personal devastation and heartbreak that deserves a lot better than stupid, scattershot, flippant threads like this. Many people struggle for years to reach a point where they can positively define themselves as 'childfree' not 'childless'. You're being a complete cow.

I always assume that "childfree" is one of those MN terms that you never actually meet in real life. In RL literally everyone I know (except those who are parents, obviously) just says they don't have children.

Well yes, it was fairly epic 🙂

I’m going for a wonderful spa weekend and it had better be child free or I’ll be seriously fucked off. I don’t want to see, hear or smell a child while I’m away.

Wrong thread oops

Childless and childfree mean two different though, don't they? If someone told me they were childless, I would presume they possibly suffered from infertility issues and this wasn't a choice.
'Less' implies something is missing, which is how many people who want DC but have been unable to conceive them feel.
If they told me they were child free, I would presume they consciously chose not to have DC, and were complete and content to be free of everything that having DC entails.
Don't see a problem with the term at all. Not everyone wants children!

Good grief if you get this angry and worked up about a simple word God help anyone within a 5 mile radius if you get upset about something normal

We'd have a fairly scripted life of we all said things in exactly the same way. Variation in language is a good thing - surely.

I do agree with child free having a more positive connotation.

Smoke free, alcohol free, drug free....all examples of 'bad' things which are prefaced with the word.

I use the term 'child free' for those times when I go for an evening out with my DH or with a friend. It's very much appreciated when I get the opportunity.

Basically, the term implies that people who do have kids are not free and are somehow encumbered. There are lots of jokes to be made about that but some childfree people aren't actually joking. That's a pretty unpleasant attitude to have towards the youngest and some of the most vulnerable members of society.

Did your friend tell you you were encumbered with your children OP? That's a horrible thing to have said. I think you should not remain friends with this person if they have made you upset enough to target and offend a whole bunch of people for a lot of "wanky" reasons.

I also hope she finds friends who are more u understanding of her personal choices, sounds like you are not a good friendship match!

OP is well jelly.

Basically, the term implies that people who do have kids are not free and are somehow encumbered.

Well they aren't free, that's patently the case. They are 'encumbered' by their children.

If they want to do something they have to factor in the impact on their children. And I'm not talking about someone jetting off to Rome for the weekend, but just basic practicalities; if you want to go to the supermarket you have to work out if you're going to take DC with you or leave them with someone else. A trip to the supermarket with children is markedly different to one without.

If you are at work and nursery call you because your dc is sick - you have to leave or plan who else will get them etc. Children can and do negatively impact women's careers/job prospects (But that's separate discussion).

If you are getting ready for work in the morning, if you're childfree you pretty much just get ready and go (faffing aside); if you have dc you have to negotiate them getting ready and fed and also getting to school/nursery on time.

If you're cooking - you have to consider what they will eat. When you're childfree perhaps a shot of whisky and a pot noodle will suffice.

When you have children you relinquish a huge amount of 'freedom'. That's exactly what happens.

And get away with this "most vulnerable members of society" trite. You are back-tracking, and are conflating and confused.

Children can be every bit as restrictive, annoying and debilitating as an allergy though. Makes you allergic to regular sleep patterns, a chunk of your disposable income and the ability to plan freely.

The good news is that it is entirely cureable by aging, so I'm not sure your rants against discrimination really hit the mark.

Everything is being spun as x-free now. I live on a new development that is both pet and car free. Meaning the management company don’t let you have pets, and there isn’t enough parking. Pretending this is a selling point is wanky nonsense. I find ‘meat free’ an annoying phrase, and I’ve never get eaten it.

I think the attitude towards children probably depends on your environment. When everyone has kids and is constantly asking you when you will, I can see why people would want a positive term for not having them. However, it’s definitely the other way round amongst the people I know.

I'm a feminist, that doesn't mean I hate men. Similarly not wanting children doesn't mean you hate them. Also the reality is that you are encumbered if you have children because they are a big responsibility; that's a fact and is not necessarily a criticism.

There are some pretty shit parents around who do a lot more damage to the "youngest and most vulnerable members of society than the childfree who have the effrontery to use a term you don't like.

This ⬆️ 100 times over! Stop wasting your time complaining about people who choose to be CHILD FREE and save your judgement for people that have them then treat them as if they’re disposable. I didn’t plan or want to have kids, but because of bad parents was left to look after four wonderful teenagers. So people like you can fuck off.

I don't see the problem with the term, as pp have said it describes a choice. As a woman, your choice to not have children is usually questioned, I find. I find it interesting that no-one ever questions my DP about this or tells him he'll 'change his mind'. I never bring the subject up myself out of respect for people who cannot have children as I don't want to be seen as hurtful (and you never know what ppl are going through) but when you're a woman of a certain age in a LTR I find ppl question you often about when you're going to get on with it so to speak, like it's an essential milestone. Saying 'child free' might avoid that to an extent. Sorry for the essay but it's something I've thought about quite a lot.

Surely it would be worse to be logic-free, reason-free and understanding-free?

Why does it bother you so much, OP? Someone using a term that's been around for 20 years or more, which you are lumping into a whole bunch of other behaviours that have zero connection to the use or non-use of that term, and declaring that you know what they REALLY mean, i.e. a direct attack on your choices rather than a positive expression of their own?

I am childfree and meat free because I care about animals and the planet. Is that ok OP?

Oh, and small humans ARE an encumbrance. Cute funny ones, but they are.

Oh no, lynsey91, you mean you're permission-free to be child-free and meat-free ??

Ah bollocks to ‘em! You get on with what you’re doing and let them enjoy their child free status.

It's hardly a new term and it's a straightforward way of saying you have no children and that this is by choice.

If it still exists, op, you should visit the livejournal community childfree, or even better cf_hardcore. They will give you plenty to get upset about. And enjoy laughing at you if you say anything as daft as you have here directly to them .