To find the term 'child free' annoying?

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

Er, no, I'm talking about those women who would genuinely rather pay off the mortgage early, not take a career break/pay for 5 years of childcare, and go on some nice holidays rather than spend lots on raising a child. That isn't odd.

Your posts are, frankly, some of the most nonsensical I've ever seen on Mumsnet, OP.

I am childfree. I certainly would view children as an encumbrance, personally, but that doesn't mean I dislike other people's children or feel that children generally are a burden/nuisance. If a child was in trouble or danger I would do my best to help. I fully recognise that children bring joy to their parents, and I respect this, but without being envious.

Being childfree is part of my identity - who are you, OP, to tell me how I should describe myself? What do you imagine gives you that right?

GoldenHefalump, not really sure what your issue is tbh. Your posts read as being mightily pissed off. Sorry that's how I interpret them.

I can guarantee that saying you’re ‘meat free’ won’t stop people from saying ‘mmm bacon’ at you like it’s the most hilarious thing ever. It’s not the word vegetarian people take issue with, or ‘I don’t eat meat’.

Pngirl but that is odd! Career and houses mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I have to say, though, I've never heard the phrase 'childfree' anywhere apart from Mumsnet, I never hear it IRL, except in relation to parents having childfree time. It is a bit silly, like me saying I'm dog free because I wouldn't want one.

I wonder sometimes if you're assuming it's a criticism of your choices when people ask you whether you have children, when no criticism is intended? People do ask questions, as I found when I was TTC, and at that stage I didn't like it either.

It's not necessarily because they think you're weird, though, it's not exactly an unusual lifestyle choice these days really.

When I was desperate to get pregnant I actually envied those who weren't broody, it would have been a lot easier if I hadn't been.

Pngirl but that is odd! Career and houses mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Nothing means anything in the end, we are all marking time until we die and procreating like the hairless chimps we basically are. Some people choose to have a good time on their way to the grave and that does not always have to include having children.

Let it go. Not everyone has to like kids. Someone has to go on the term-time holidays and have the bottomless brunches (light-hearted). You honestly sound very highly strung and a bit ‘wanky’ and judgemental tbh

I'm an extremely happily childfree antinatalist, having known since the age of 2 or 3 that I didn't want to breed. I tell people that I am childfree because they always ask about children and I am clearly childfree not childless.
It's the vomit-inducing term 'small human beings' that sets my teeth on edge -but I wouldn't start a thread about it!

Pngirl but that is odd! Career and houses mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things

In your tiny mind, perhaps. They mean a lot to other people.

t's the vomit-inducing term 'small human beings' that sets my teeth on edge -but I wouldn't start a thread about it!

but they are small human beings? That is a literal description of children.

Oh don't worry, I have both.. and they do mean something to me.. but they won't look after me when I'm 80.

Neither will your kids if you talk to them like you talk to others! What if they decide not to have children, will you tell them how odd and sad and unnatural they are?

I pity your kids if they’re going to have to look after you until your 80

There have been many threads on MN over the years where women have said that given the chance again they wouldn't choose motherhood. It isn't necessarily an automatic path to fulfilment. Many people do find fulfilment in parenthood and many find it in their career, or in their romantic relationship. Or in any number of things.

Try to widen your perspective a little.

Happily Childfree here. And my situation is entirely different from my infertile friend, who is childLESS.

guest2013 you do say some strange things! Being childfree doesn't necessarily equate to career or houses!? In my case, it means being able to have my freedom and spend my life doing sports and activites that I am passionate about and more time with elderly relatives whom parents often ignore. I really think it's having children that's actually more pointless when you look at it because you are not living your own life- just creating a perpetual chain of other generations to breed with no other reason for existing!

No guarantee that your kids will either guest, many reasons why that may not happen. If you genuinely can't understand why some people, both male and female, choose not to produce offspring then I worry a bit about your capacity to understand many basic facts of day to day life. People are different, people want different things, how can that be hard to understand?

OP - it's not always as simple as not wanting children - I'm "child-free" but not because I don't want children - I spent my entire 20s and 30s trying for children with my husband and after 4 failed pregnancies (losing 3 daughters and a son) we've decided for our own sanity (and the fact I'm 41 at the end of this week) that it's time to stop.
We don't really use any specific terminology but "child-free" sounds more positive and less of a failure (to us, as we feel like failures) than "childless" - plus we're NOT childless - we had 4 precious children, but they're not with us.

Really? So the thing I spend 5 days a week doing, and whether or not I find that fulfilling and satisfying, and whether or not it pays for a home that is free to live in when I'm 80, and whether there is equity in said home to pay for care I may need, doesn't matter?

For some, children isn't necessarily going from paying the bills to financial ruin but it is going from comfortable to uncomfortable. It's ok not to want that.

I'm surprised it took 13 pages for someone to trot out the "look after me when I'm old" line.

"After all, it's what we're programmed to do. Why would you not want to do it"

Because I DON'T.

I'd also like to point out that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being childfree/childless - I admire those who have the guts to admit that they just don't want to be parents as much as I admire those who choose to be good parents

@ThoraCentisis

suggestions of childfree places to go - apart from crowded bars - very welcome - north London, central London, Essex. Thank you

Cor blimey there's some angry ignorant parents on here.. There is nothing wrong with a woman not wanting children, far too many unwanted children on this planet as it is.

I find some peoples outlook on here quite disturbing and why are all the uptight outdated goady posts coming from those with children... Child free? Child less? Use whatever term makes you comfortable, it's nobodies business at the end of the day and if it bothers them that much it shows what a sad existence they have.

I'm going to raise my daughter to be open minded of others decisions and situations, and I for one will support her whether she wants children or not! Some of you really need to let go and live your lives.