AIBU About Constant Requests To Babysit?

[zukiecat]

I'll try and keep this short and not let it turn into a rant, but please bear with me!

Since the start of the year a colleague has asked me constantly to babysit her four DC, some of which has been for nights out and some so her DH can work overtime (voluntary)

Looking back on my diary I have done more than 50 hours of babysitting since the middle of January, I have health issues and it's really starting to take its toll on me, I have Pernicious Anaemia (amongst other conditions) and sometimes coping with my part time job is more than enough for me, I don't ask for or receive any sort of payment for this babysitting, last week I got a bit pissed of because I looked after the DC for the whole day, then had to go straight to work for an evening shift, it was pouring rain when I left but I didn't get offered a lift to work, I should say I never ever ask for or expect any lifts from anyone to anywhere, but seeing as though I had looked after her DC from 9am to 5pm and it would have taken her DH five minutes to run me down the road, I have Sciatica and Arthritis which are made worse by cold damp weather.

Colleague also asked our boss not to put me on the rota on certain evenings because, and I quote "I need her to babysit"

My own DC are adults, one DD has left home and the younger one also has health issues and she's had nine hospital admissions since June 2017, she was also diagnosed this weekend with a blood clot on her lung which is very worrying, so I need to be around to look after her too.

I had a bad dose of flu in January, but colleague's DH wouldn't stop phoning and texting me to ask if I would be able to babysit that week so that they could have a night out. I also had quite severe laryngitis three weeks ago, and this, combined with my other health conditions really took it out of me, but I still got endless texts asking me to babysit for another night out.

I'm just feeling exhausted and to be honest, just used. I'm not the best at saying No to people and some do take advantage of that, but do you think I would be justified to refuse to do any more babysitting and not give a reason?

Sorry, this was longer than I intended it to be, but thanks for reading!

I'm glad to hear the good news about your DD Zukie. Does your colleague know your DD was ill? Bet she won't ask about her

It may be better not to wait for her to ask, otherwise she will try to guilt-trip you by saying it's too short notice to get someone else. Maybe you should just have a quick word when you next see her to let her know that you won't be available for babysitting from now on.

I'm so pleased your DD is OK, for both of you

Yes, she knew my DD was ill, and no, I've had no messages, texts or anything else asking how she is

I swapped my shift tonight for one tomorrow, so she hasn't asked me to babysit this week yet, but I fully expect I will be before the end of the week

stay strong Zukie

Stand firm zukie she sounds a right royal piss taker

Great news about your DD please stay strong and firm in your resolve she is being a CF your health and family must come first

I find this shocking.

I feel too guilty to ask family to babysit for me when I'm ill, and yet this CF has been using you, not even paying you, or doing anything for your benefit!!!

What a cow

Stay strong and say no, she does not care about you, she thinks so little of you. Her child care is not your problem. Tough if she can't find childcare.

I could never treat someone the way she's treating you!
She sounds so selfish and as though she doesn't care about you and your life just as long as you can do her a favour!
If I had 4 children I wouldn't even ask my own mother to look after them all at once as it's too huge a favour!

I’ll tell them for you!

I agree that they are using you, but I also agree that you are the only one who can stop it. My mum used to moan all the time about certain things, and every single time, I said to her, "you are the only one who can say no. Say no and just keep on saying it".

So you have the same advice from me too. In your case, you have your health to consider, so that has to be your answer. "sorry I am not well enough" and repeat and repeat and repeat.

I am glad that you have decided to say no, so stay strong and keep on repeating the word no.

Really pleased everything went well at the hospital with your DD

Our local nursery is open 8am-6pm mon-fri. That’s 50 hours a week and the cost is £191 per full week plus £3.50 per day for meals.

Blimey you should have taken some payment they are definitely taking the piss. Too right YANBU

Block her on your phone so you don't get the requests
Tell your manager that she doesn't speak for you and the only person he should talk about re your shifts is you
No, that's not possible for me is the answer if she asks to your face

50+ hours of babysitting in 10 weeks is a lot. Babysitting for an entire day is childcare and you should be paid for it.

Op, you don’t need to be her doormat, just say you’re not doing it any more. Can’t believe you have to ask about it.

If I didn't recognise your name I'd think you were a troll!
Good luck zukie and good news about your daughter.

And also good to read a thread where twee father gets an appropriate level of blame too. This mainly focuses on the motherhood is fair enough as she's the one asking but most seem to be calling them both cheeky fuckers which makes a nice change

I would text her before the next request comes in so you stay strong and she won’t have the opportunity to guilt you ‘oh but I was relying on you to do x!”

Stay on track Zukie, you're nearly at the finishing line ! 😄
💐 For you and your DD.

Be prepared. " I won't be babysitting for anyone any more my daughter needs me."
No apology!

your colleague will definitely try to apply the pressure..

"I'll lose my job because of you"

"the boss will be angry with you that I can't work"

she'll cry, whine, then become angry and try to bully you into it

don't fall for it, don't say "just this once"

she's had her way with you and when she realises you mean it you won't see her for dust, she'll have moved onto some other poor sod

I agree, if I dident recognise the name, I woukd be very suspect. Don't let her guilt you, her chikdren are not yiur problem. If she looses her job she can apply for benefits whilst she looks for another round her kids like others do.

zuki treat her how she treats you.