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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tight friends taking my tip to cover their meal costs

315 replies

alid117 · 11/03/2018 20:58

Just been out for a meal with group of friends & some of their friends for a shared birthday. Lovely evening all agreed at start just to pay for what we have to eat and drink as some driving and some not - quite organised. Four out of the 14 of us worked out our share plus £5 tip added on each (great service from staff) then pasted on the receipt down to next lot. At the end heard one of the girls go to the waiter ‘sorry it’s not a huge tip’ and when asked how much had they left was told just £6!!! WTF!!! I was literally gagged by friend who didn’t want a scene...CF alert!

OP posts:
dingdongdigeridoo · 12/03/2018 14:35

Staff in the USA who work on tips, so waiting staff and any service staff such as drivers, tour guides etc can get as low as $2 an hour, topped up by tips. Technically, if they don't earn enough tips to take them to the national minimum wage, which is something like $7.50 an hour, their employer is supposed to top up their wages, but obviously there are dodgy employers who don't. Plus their minimum wage is still insanely low. That's just over £5 an hour.

I always tip 20% in America as that's about average. I don't really mind the fawning service. I can see why they do it since many service staff live on really low wages.

icelollycraving · 12/03/2018 14:49

I think with your request to give it to the food bank, they will just say they have. They won’t.
I do understand when it’s different sets of friends there can be an unusual dynamic. If I’d known my three friends and I have put in a tip of £20 and the person at the end said it was £6i would have questioned it then.
I like a split bill unless someone is short of cash or not drinking alcohol when others are drinking a lot. I also am a bit Hmm when someone orders expensive mocktails and then claim they shouldn’t pay towards drinks.
My husband is tight over tipping. It has caused a lot of bickering over the years. I usually stick a note in the table if I think he didn’t pay a tip.

Unihorn · 12/03/2018 15:49

I'm sure someone can correct me if I'm wrong but in some states in America I think they tax servers on the assumption that they make 15-20% so if they don't get tips they can lose money.

DalekDalekDalek · 12/03/2018 15:52

Agree with pp about the foodbank. If they are cheeky enough to steal a tip then they are cheeky enough to lie about giving it to a foodbank. I think you should insist on the money back and take it to the restaurant yourself if you don't mind having to make the trip. At least that way you know that the right thing has been done.

notacooldad · 12/03/2018 15:57

The request to the foodbank was just odd.
I would have said something along the lines of 'I wasn't happy with the way the bill was handled last night. It wasn't only the rest of the group that was ripped off but the staff as well, think about that everyone!'
Talk about foodbanks and the like is too wishy washy and will just go over people's heads, they don't give a fuck anyway but too mention their friends makes it personal and maybe, you never know, shame them a bit.
The thieves!!!

Original poster
alid117 · 12/03/2018 15:59

So update...been at work but various texts flying back & forth people denying they knew people saying they all paid their share blah blah blah honestly! So got hold of CF stealing lady’s number and asked her to send money to restaurant or food bank or send it to me so I can do it...she’s read it...green ticks...

OP posts:
Original poster
alid117 · 12/03/2018 16:00

Food bank is a great idea I think sorry 😀

OP posts:
DalekDalekDalek · 12/03/2018 16:03

It's a good idea but she is just going to lie and say she gave it to them! Remember this is a serious level of cheeky fuckery going on!

Oblomov18 · 12/03/2018 16:07

Why did friend not want to say anything? Does she normally shy away from it, and see it as 'causing a scene'?

Original poster
alid117 · 12/03/2018 16:13

Ok got reply...’Sorry how did you get my number? Yes I have the extra money for the kitty for drinks night we all talked about remember? Sorry you feel that way I will send the money to (mutual friend) and she can decide’ passing the bucking

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/03/2018 16:14

I'd have caused a scene because they are stealing. Expect more lies from them.

DalekDalekDalek · 12/03/2018 16:16

What did you reply?

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/03/2018 16:21

"It was not discussed. You took it upon yourself to do that and I most certainly did not agree with you stealing the tip I left for the server to subsidise your night out!"

ballerini · 12/03/2018 16:24

Shocking! I have friends who have done this!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 12/03/2018 16:24

While the tip you left was ridiculous and unnecessary, it was your money and your choice so it shouldn’t have been taken away.

YANBU and they are massive CF.

FlyingMonkeys · 12/03/2018 16:26

Love the fact she's trying to make you look like the unreasonable one there OP Grin

TroubledLichen · 12/03/2018 16:28

What a pathetic attempt at ass covering! I’d tempted to reply and say ‘This was never discussed. The money was mine and was left for the waitres, not to subside a future night out. I for one will not be going to any drinks night as I don’t socialise with thieves. Please do as you have said and ensure my money is returned to mutual friend ASAP.’

tallulahwullah · 12/03/2018 16:30

Some people no manners Angry

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 12/03/2018 16:32

Well done op I’m glad you didn’t let them get away with it. So many of thes threads don’t have a resolution. why the fuck the would you all of agreed to a kitty...you’d just bring your bloody wallet next time.

HiggeldyPigsinblankets · 12/03/2018 16:32

what an arse she is! I would replying along the lines of " the discussion we had was for a £5 tip to be left for the staff, we received excellent service, it was wrong to leave only a £6 tip. If you can return mine and 3 friends tip I will take it in for the staff myself"

FlyingMonkeys · 12/03/2018 16:35

The sad thing is she'll probably not even care. Most CF's just brazen it out like this. "How very dare you be challenging the fact I put everyone's money in my purse!"... You're SO unreasonable! Wink

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 12/03/2018 16:37

the discussion we had was for a £5 tip to be left for the staff, we received excellent service, it was wrong to leave only a £6 tip.

No, I wouldn’t send this. Staff should be giving excellent service without tips, and it wasn’t wrong to only leave £6 due to their service; it’s more than generous. It is, however, wrong to steal someone else’s designated money and attempt to spend it on something else.

TheMerryWidow1 · 12/03/2018 16:38

well done OP!!!

Original poster
alid117 · 12/03/2018 17:01

Messaged back just ‘asked for your number as was very disappointed tip money was taken after excellent service we had & wasn’t part of the kitty discussion as was at other end of table - yes please transfer money to (mutual f) & then that’s all sorted’

OP posts:
DingDongDenny · 12/03/2018 17:05

WhattoDo a £6 from a big group 'more than generous' I pity the staff in restaurants you go to

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