Tight friends taking my tip to cover their meal costs

[alid117]

Just been out for a meal with group of friends & some of their friends for a shared birthday. Lovely evening all agreed at start just to pay for what we have to eat and drink as some driving and some not - quite organised. Four out of the 14 of us worked out our share plus £5 tip added on each (great service from staff) then pasted on the receipt down to next lot. At the end heard one of the girls go to the waiter ‘sorry it’s not a huge tip’ and when asked how much had they left was told just £6!!! WTF!!! I was literally gagged by friend who didn’t want a scene...CF alert!

Have you replied to the CF? I definitely would.

Even if they didn't tip where is the £20?

This happened to me in a curry house, except there were TWENTY people at our table. The bill got sent down the table with a pot, but it took literally 45m with so many people. Came to our section with an amount that covered everyone so far with a tip, we followed suit.

20m later the amount comes up short by a couple of quid on a 400 bill. Everyone at the top end says they paid and tip. Goes on for a while until two girls finally 'realise' that they didn't pay. We did nothing else but faff around paying for the best part of an hour, no way they could have missed it.

I am in a hobby group and we organise an annual get together Xmas meal. It's evolved over the years from 'everyone order and we split the bill at the end ' to '' here's the pub's special offer three course with options, we add in a set tip, buy your own drinks in cash direct as you go, staff know nothing is to be charged to the table, pay in advance in cash by the week before to who ever has been chosen than year as paymaster'

More work upfront but so much simpler on the night and saves all the CF stuff of : leaving halfway through and paying on the way out some random underpayment sum, 'forgetting ' drinks they have had, ordering expensive drinks for the table saying 'my treat' that get lumped into the overall bill, have one course from an agreed one price three course menu ( as pubs/ restaurants have for groups at Xmas) then deduct what they feel is reasonable even though everyone else then bears the cost, all the previously mentioned dishonesty of deciding there is enough in the pot to subsidise their own meal or, worse, making money on it.

I would be furious if that happened to me. I often go on group meals and some people don't tip, fine. I personally always tip as I used to be a waitress and it makes a huge difference to your pay. But if I found out someone had decided it was 'too much' and took money away for drinks for another day I'd be spitting chips.

I would tell that person you're not happy with this in the slightest and it needs to be given to restaurant as intended.

That's for all the advice MNs - I have sent a stinky text and asked it to be sent to all asking for the money to given to restaurant or our local foodbank - I'm not likely going on a drink with them in that mixture of people!

good for you sending the text, it is not for one person to decide that the tip is to big, and to just take it. I would be interested in the the reply to the text

How cheeky of them!!

I don't tend to tip, so i wouldn't have added to it personally, but no way would i use other people's money to pay for my food

If there was 14 of you was it not automatically added to the bill as service charge?

For future reference why not ensure that you hand your tip to the waiter/waitress before you leave the restaurant? At least then you will know it's not been pinched by friends.

I had friends years ago who would never tip. Still, your group of friends should not have been absorbing the tip you wished to give into offsetting their own meal costs.

They were BU.

Literally shocking YANBU. Surely you should ask can I take this cash? Do you mind? Hmmm

Hi no it wasn't added to the bill

That is absolutely disgusting!

Good on you for sending the messages!

I'd say whoever stole it should be absolutely mortified but they knew exactly what they were doing an have given the shittiest excuse known to man

Be interesting to see if the money does make it's way back. Tbh I can't believe nobody else had brought it up, especially if they then knew about it

Some people

Good for you in calling out their bad behaviour. Hopefully they’ll think twice if they know people are on to them.

The size of the tip is not the main issue - it's about some people exploiting the generosity re tipping of the first 4 people to put money in by using their tips to offset the cost of their own meal which is entirely unacceptable.

Yeah quite apart from the excuse doesn't justify stealing, did she really think it likely the while group would be together again? From your description it doesn't sound likely to happen naturally.

RC1234 I think we might have been at the same meal!

Same thing happened to me, but I and the friends that paid the tip confronted those that stole our money. Huge argument, they weren't apologetic and actually just walked out of the restaurant.

It was for a friend's birthday meal, probably 6 or 7 years ago now. Every year she texts me and the other friends and asks if we are free on a particular date close to her birthday. We all always lsay we're not going out with those people ever again after they stole our money the last time. None of us have ever seen those people ever again, or celebrated friend's birthday with her.

(Should probably say the birthday friend paid her share, didn't steal our money, but did defend and leave the restaurant with those who had).

Thumb I once had a waitress running after me in the US when I left 15% tip for what was a shit service, insisting I MUST leave 20%. I much prefer countries where servers get a decent salary instead.

The 'someone' pocketing the money in OPs situation is a thief and I bet the cash would not have ended up anywhere but their wallet if you had not raised the issue.

Good on you OP for standing up to this poor behaviour and sending the text.

Fucking thieves!

Good on you for standing up for what is right!

Wow, Katharina! I mean, she probably depended on that money to feed herself, but still, that's proper rubbish!

@ThumbWitchesAbroad that's strange! When I went to Sydney I tipped and no/one told me not to! Was a while ago so maybe things are different now?

Katherine

I’ve just checked tipping etiquette in the us. Dh and I went there years ago and systematically left 15% of the whole bill, which is what we were advised to do. Having read up, apparently tipping of 15-20% is standard but only needs to be on pre tax amount. So I’m surprised she ran after you if you left 15% of the entire bill as you tip would most likely have been more than the pre tax 20% amount.

Ginger - I doubt many people would tell you not to, it's only because we go to this restaurant a lot and the owner is a really lovely lady.
Otherwise they'd just take it! But it's definitely not the norm (we're not in Sydney, by the way, more rural than that)