To reckon we should just boycott this whole Mother's Day bandwagon?

[NorthernLurker]

Mothering Sunday is a date in the church calendar. Mother's Day is a load of commercial bollocks and it just makes people so unhappy.

I can guarantee tomorrow this site will be filled with:

A) threads from people upset with how their day went
B) answers to a) from people who haven't got their mothers anymore and who are understandably distressed
C) answers to a) from people who have lost children and are understandably upset
D) people pointing out ad nauseam that a persons partner isn't their mother

None of these people will be having a good day. Having just messaged my friends who have lost children, and having added to that number in the last year, I would quite happily have the whole thing just go away. Doesn't mean I don't love my mum nor does it mean I am ungrateful for the tulips dds
have bought me (haven't seen them but pound to a penny it's tulips, it always is 😀)

Does anybody really enjoy it? Apart from the supermarkets, card shops, flower sellers and restaurants who make a killing, usually from sub standard service because they overbook because its Mother's Day!

DP's have gone away for the weekend - booked a while ago & DM hadn't realised the date. She said this morning that she felt a bit guilty she wouldn't be here to see DGran on Mother's Day, as DGran very rightly put it 'it's just another day for those that care about their mothers all year round'

Perhaps a minority here, but I really did use to enjoy the piece of cold burnt toast and cup of cold water in bed and seeing them so proud and happy that they were doing something for me.

My owns mums request when i was little was that all she wanted was for me and my brother not to fight for one day...... how times/expectations change eh?

Nope, not really. That's all I ever asked for. And, occasionally, got.

cory you’re not allowed to admit to that on MN.

@PoorYorick too true

@corythatwas the toast was cold and burned but amazingly they'd managed to boil the kettle properly and the tea was almost hot and very nearly drinkable!

Worryingly this was about 6 a.m. and when they were still only 5 (twins) and I really didn't expect them to have organised themselves to go and make me breakfast, otherwise I'd have put the stairgates back up again.

I do it for my mother, and I do it for my kids. They love making a fuss of me on mother’s day so I smile all day etc

I love it. It's guaranteed lie in and a cute card from the baby. We go out for lunch somewhere. The rest of the day functions as normal

YANBU. As much as I love a homemade card from my dd all of the other huge expense is crazy and I can understand why the day would make some people feel upset.

All I could hear when I went get flowers this morning was other people (rightly) complaining how expensive they are. It is just another enforced day that the shops have cottoned onto so we feel we have spend money.

Orange that’s put into words a lot of how I feel about Mother’s Day and the disappointment that you can carry on a daily basis. Thank you but also because it is a sad thing to carry.

On the one hand it’s just another day, and on the other I find that disappointment is more in my face in the run up to Mother’s Day. Even just the challenge of finding a nice card that doesn’t feel too ironic in its message can do my head in!
I do agree though that regardless of the relationships between mother and child(ren), the day has become excessively commercial.

I love the opportunity to buy my mum some flowers. She loves getting a bunch delivered.
She wouldn't accept them any other time of the year without going on about the fuss, expense etc and would probably give me the money back. It's the only day when she feels able to accept a gift for herself?

I really liked this post by AnchorDeepDown.

I think it'd help people to adopt it as something that can be celebrated and can not be; but that doesn't seem to happen. In real life; if you're not doing anything for Valentines Day for example, that's fine. If you are, that's fine too. On here; anything but a major declaration of undying love is not enough - and Mothers Day is the same.

It's exactly what I think. I don't do anything for Mother's Day. I'm extremely close to my Mum but giving her a card and flowers on Mothers Day would be odd. It's just not our type of thing. We aren't overly fussed about birthdays either. My adult kids don't give me anything either but I they are all lovely affectionate people who make it clear that they love me.

I find the expectation that people 'should ' give Mother's Day cards and gifts awful. If I thought someone gave me something out of an obligation then I wouldn't want it. I think it's really crappy to make people feel guilty about not giving things to their mother. It's weird to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mothers day does not have to be a commercial crap and spend fest.
Its what you make it for the day if you you still have a mum, or can visit her at all.
I will not be seeing my two grown up son and daughter that day, my son lives in the same village as me, but says he will be too busy to see me, and my daughter lives miles away, so won't see her either. I won't be bothered at all,, I just tend to remember the oldie days when my mum was a live, proper mothering sundays then.

I have friends who find mothers day hard due to having lost their mother or their children or struggling to become a mother. I will still enjoy the small bit of special attention from my kids, home made cards etc but I won't flaunt it to others as I don't want to accidentally hurt them.

You forgot e) people who moan about boycotting Mother’s Day and use a small minority of people who have lost parents as an excuse to be a killjoy.
Who gives a fuck if it’s commercialised really? One day a year to show EXTRA SPECIAL consideration to the woman who gave you life.
Now back to my Mother’s Day lie in

OP, just re read your OP.
So sorry for your loss of your child, I take back all of what I just said!
hangs head in shame
Many adults have lost parents but l can’t even imagine her losing a child does to you. I hope this day isn’t too hard for you.

I’m with you OP. I’m a Christian and involved with the church so recognise the day for its original purpose (it’s also called ‘refreshment Sunday and means you can relax on the Lenten fasting, by the way ;) ) but I’ve always hated the whole ‘Mother’s Day’ stuff. My own mum was pretty crap when I was growing up. Today is my first as a mother myself, and I shall be catering for Mother in Law and functioning as normal. I was also kept awake approximately 65% of the night by my over enthusiastic 5 month old and I have sick up my sleeve.

Acquiesce - you think losing a parent is an "excuse to be a killjoy"??

I know you apologised to the OP, but I think it's a shitty comment to those who've lost parents too. The loss of a mother you loved is a wound that never, ever, ever heals. I'm taking a bunch of roses up to my mum's grave today, because that's all I've been able to do every single fucking Christmas, birthday and Mother's Day for many years. It's all my DC have ever known of the woman who would have been the best grandmother in the world. It's shit and hard and sometimes seeing Mother's Day cards etc can be upsetting.

As I said upthread, it in no way makes me want to stop it. But comments like yours are just so unkind.

We always did it and still do. For my mum it's a £1 bunch of daffs and a homemade card. It's all she wants and that's what we do. It can be what you make it.

Eh, why wouldn't you function as normal on Mother's Day?

I'm going to the gym in a bit, then will do the weekly shop and help DD with her homework. The joys of being a mum

YANBU I’m not a mother, sadly, and my mother died last year. So nothing for me to do today.

We celebrate it in a very low key way. Mum got a card and a cheap pot plant from the garden centre. DC made cards at school, DS2 made cookies in cooking club and both DC are making breakfast - nat yog with passion fruit on top. It will stop being Mother's Day past 9am and will revert to being a normal Sunday, complete with supermarket food shop, housework and perhaps some gardening if the rain holds off.

Carryondoctor - solidarity sister. My mum died when I was 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I was in my early twenties, and I needed her so much. I still need her now. Every Mother's Day I've had as a mother has been hard. I hate it. But I smile and thank my lovely kids for putting their pocket money to some carnations and a box of Dairy Milk.

I like getting a card and a box of chocs from the DC because they get very excited (mostly about eating said chocs!), but I'm generally not a fan of being told when we should appreciate our mums.

I certainly don't want to go out for a meal in an overcrowded restaurant to be 'appreciated' surrounded by dozens of other mums being 'appreciated'. Can't say I'd feel particularly special.

And agree that all the showing off on social media is really annoying. Look how much my family loves me. Yeah, alrighty then.

DP's family make a big fuss of their mother, even though they complain about what a horrible mother she was when they were growing up and all acknowledge that they have serious issues as a result. To the outside world it looks as though her children think she's wonderful, when in reality they are all too browbeaten to ignore Mother's Day. Makes me so mad every year - and sad too.