To reckon we should just boycott this whole Mother's Day bandwagon?

[NorthernLurker]

Mothering Sunday is a date in the church calendar. Mother's Day is a load of commercial bollocks and it just makes people so unhappy.

I can guarantee tomorrow this site will be filled with:

A) threads from people upset with how their day went
B) answers to a) from people who haven't got their mothers anymore and who are understandably distressed
C) answers to a) from people who have lost children and are understandably upset
D) people pointing out ad nauseam that a persons partner isn't their mother

None of these people will be having a good day. Having just messaged my friends who have lost children, and having added to that number in the last year, I would quite happily have the whole thing just go away. Doesn't mean I don't love my mum nor does it mean I am ungrateful for the tulips dds
have bought me (haven't seen them but pound to a penny it's tulips, it always is 😀)

Does anybody really enjoy it? Apart from the supermarkets, card shops, flower sellers and restaurants who make a killing, usually from sub standard service because they overbook because its Mother's Day!

So are you saying that people who get their mother a card and gift (for mother's day,) DON'T show love and affection the rest of the year?

No, that's not what I said. Don't put words in my mouth.

I said my kids don't need to buy me cards and stuff to show me they love me.

Do you begrudge all the people it brings joy to? Do you begrudge Valentine's day as well? What a mean spirited way to look at things.

Y'know, we have posts almost every day about how women are not appreciated by their families, society, the rest of it. So there's one day a year for mums, and suddenly everyone's a militant anti-capitalist.

If the only time you're worried about propping up the evil gift industries (which you don't have to use anyway) is on Mothers' Day, check your motives. You might be a noble warrior fighting consumerism and capitalism, but it's possible you're just a posturing git.

I really don't enjoy mother's day, my mother made it awful with incredibly high expectations of expensive gifts, the right cards with the right words in, spending the entire day with her and so on.

I really hated it and the pressure was so much. I'm now NC with her for three years, but the dread of mothers day has continued. I feel guilty now that I don't do anything and I don't like to ask or put any pressure on my ds about the day. He made me a lovely card at nursery and that's fine for me.

Funnily my ex does get me lovely gifts from the ds, but I always say not to and it really is just a day, I don't want him to feel forced into creating something that he doesn't feel on that day.

So tomorrow is just another day really for me, through my own choice though.

I get my Mum a commercial card - I buy one that says Happy Mother's Day....I avoid all the gushy best mum ever cards because frankly she isn't, but if I sent her nothing I'd feel bad and she'd get all huffy.
The dcs will give me a hand made card - something extremely simple - it will be touching, they might right a poem, it'll make me smile, we'll have a hug and that will be that - maybe a hot beverage. No big deal. I booked a table at my favourite restaurant for us all, as a treat to myself. I'm hoping for a very chilled out day but there's a possibility that dh may have to work and if that happens we'll maybe postpone lunch, I'll be thinking of him not me.

Reading this thread it seems that most people who hate mothers day have awful sadness in their lives that is rooted in their own mothers or children. That's awful and I get why mothers day is painful for you.

But it seems spiteful to want the day gone altogether when it brings a little joy and gratitude in to lots of other women's lives. Motherhood, families, children are worth celebrating, even if not everyone has great family experience.

My children’s cards don’t show love they’re just cards. They’re nice. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t understand why people expect they should be.

I bought a nice little planter of roses today

Very pretty and relatively cheap

It'll go on her grave

I just want a card....i know that they have bought me a little present (very little ) but i would be happy with the card

And im having a nice lunch with as many of my children as i can and sitting on my arse all day

No change there

for everyone who will struggle for whatever reason tomorrow

To be honest, it's so commercial that I don't let it bother me (lost my DM a few years ago now). I enjoyed it when she was here; I will enjoy it when my DC are old enough; it's not a big deal. A bit like Valentine's Day when I was single - meh.

However i know that lots of people do get upset and for them, as it's hard when things aren't as you'd like them to be and something rubs your nose in it.

The thing that bothers me the most is the bloody apostrophe. I strongly feel it should be Mothers' as it is all mothers but card manufacturers don't agree. Worse is no apostrophe at all! I prefer the old fashioned Mothering Sunday - avoids the issue!

Seriously though I hate the commercial nature of it all. There are people on a local FB page panicking that they didn't book a place for afternoon tea in time, like it's the end of the world. I think it is possible though to block it out to a certain extent - I do the same for Vslentine's Day.

I sent my mum a card, like I always do, but I'm not do bothered for myself. Kids will probably get me a card. Best present ever was a funny poem my (very challenging) ASD son wrote me a few years ago - touched me so much.

Big shout out, though, to Saturday Night Takeaway who included a widowed Dad in the 'place on the plane' Mothers' Day thing tonight because he does the job of Mum and Dad. Made me cry, that did.

I love it my grown up DC live it my dgc love it we have a lovely food and laughter filled family day. Next to Christmas Day it's the best day on the year.

I always used to hate Mother’s Day as my mum was a bit of an arse about it and seemed to expect it to be treated like a 2nd birthday. I remember being little and buying her some flowers and she cried because she didn’t like them. I think I was about 9 .

For years I would fret about what to buy her, seething at the people in Tesco who were buying flowers and chocolates with no fuss.

Now she’s a lot more chilled out so it’s fine. I bought her flowers, chocolates and treated her to a take away tonight and she’s happy.

Tomorrow I’m looking forward to being taken out for a Sunday Roast.

I carry the sadness I feel for my Mum's inability to parent every day - I don't find Mother's Day any more upsetting than any other day. I love my mum but she loves herself and try as I might I cannot bury the feeling of disappointment I carry that she is not the person I needed her to be, but her inadequacies have made me a better, kinder parent.

Orangesticker I feel exactly the same. My mother always expected a lot of money spent on her for mothers day too.

...hit post too soon. However this is my first time as a mum on mothers day and am sitting in the bath with wine while dh cooks my favourite dinner. So now I love it! It's little gestures like that which make me feel appreciated and that is nice on any day.

Well, I'm looking forward to it.

Mum own DM doesn't celebrate it, but I will go to see her.

We're going out in the evening for a pub meal (my favourite pub) with MIL. We haven't seen her since Christmas. If it wasn't for Christmas/Mother's Day/Easter/Birthdays we'd probably never see her. She seems obliged to see us on certain days So Mother's Day is good for a bit of family bonding here.

We don't really do presents, though. A colleague of mine got a pair of expensive trainers from her DC, which they paid for out of their own money. I found that a bit odd.

But anyway, it's like any celebration. Ignore the tat in the shops if you don't like it - I have.

Mother's Day on MN is always fun

It will be full of posts moaning about lack of gifts, the wrong gift and partners not pandering to them. Add to that the matyrs who expect something just for parenting, a choice they made themselves, and it makes for a day of moaning and entitlement.

I can take it or leave it. DD made me a lovely card at school, and apparently her and DH have bought another card for me to have tomorrow which is nice :)

What makes it really special is playing Mumsnet Mother's Day Bingo. Very entertaining.

I quite like it 🤗🤗.
DD will have left a card somewhere and will text me with clues (she's away on a youth weekend).
I accept that for many it's tough (indeed my own mum only died a few years ago and I wish I could call her and say Happy Mothers Day').
But, I don't get all the hand wringing about it, it seems to be whipped up into some sort of massive deal on MN when I think the reality is for most people a card, box of chocs and everyone just gets on with their day and have forgotten all about it by lunchtime.

mumsnet mothers day bingo
Oh yes 🤣
Sweepstake on the time of the first moaning post?

HRTpatch

It's already begun

I adores Easter, decorate house, do Easter egg hunt, give small gifts to dc, love Halloween.. No gifts but decorate house.. Obviously love Christmas.

But I agree here. The adverts are too much.. The pressure.. So many lonely mums, us who have lost mums etc.

I have already had a beautiful home made card.. Dd couldn't wait and I have no further expectation.

I think it’s very easy and popular to be cynical about it. About everything, really.

No, it shouldn’t be scrapped because some people find it hard.

After all, if it was scrapped what would all the superior beings have to sneer at?

After all, if it was scrapped what would all the superior beings have to sneer at?

Facebook and Christmas.

YANBU

Its ridiculously commercial now.