To reckon we should just boycott this whole Mother's Day bandwagon?

[NorthernLurker]

Mothering Sunday is a date in the church calendar. Mother's Day is a load of commercial bollocks and it just makes people so unhappy.

I can guarantee tomorrow this site will be filled with:

A) threads from people upset with how their day went
B) answers to a) from people who haven't got their mothers anymore and who are understandably distressed
C) answers to a) from people who have lost children and are understandably upset
D) people pointing out ad nauseam that a persons partner isn't their mother

None of these people will be having a good day. Having just messaged my friends who have lost children, and having added to that number in the last year, I would quite happily have the whole thing just go away. Doesn't mean I don't love my mum nor does it mean I am ungrateful for the tulips dds
have bought me (haven't seen them but pound to a penny it's tulips, it always is 😀)

Does anybody really enjoy it? Apart from the supermarkets, card shops, flower sellers and restaurants who make a killing, usually from sub standard service because they overbook because its Mother's Day!

I can guarantee that tomorrow Mumsnet will be full of posts about their selfish bastard OH or husbands who didn't so much as get them a card. I'm not saying that to be nasty,I feel very sorry for these people.

I was just about to commiserate northern !

to anyone reading who has lost a child.

I have to say though i've got to go against the flow here and say i love mother's day.

I've got big one's and a little one and i love the day. It's no massive deal - but i get a nice card and some flowers and we joke about me getting to sit on my arse all day. To be fair the older ones do spoil me now they've got a cash flow - they're taking us all out to somewhere very special tomorrow for us all to have a good time together. (posh tea and lots of cake )

We have no truck with it in this house. DDs don't have to buy me overpriced cards or flowers to show me they love me. They show me that every day almost.

You forgot people who want to be mothers and can't be, and feel like a reject of society and freak of nature.

Father's day makes me a little sad as i have lost my dear dad.

But then again i get to help DD4 make a card for DH and see their happiness - circle of life and all that.

im at work tomorrow

The angst has already started.

Dd2 died the Thursday before Mother's Day 2015. It is a painful day for me as it is tied up with so many memories of that raw grief. I try hard for my remaining children and my own mother though I know it is important to them.
Thinking of all of you who find it hard for whatever reason.

Given how easy it is to send my mother some pink roses, and how much she likes them, I find it churlish to make a point of ignoring the day so I can imagine I'm some sort of anti capitalist.

I buy shit when I need or want it and I'm not going to suddenly avoid it when it's for my mother. If you're only anti capitalist on Mothers Day you're just a tightwad.

It's fine when people don't use it as a measure how how much people love them.

This times a zillion! I really sympathise with all the posters saying dh didn't make any effort for my birthday/ christmas/ Valentine's Day as it seems quite clear that they never make and effort any other day of the year, and these are the days that they need a grand gesture to remind them why they bother. Generally people who feel loved and appreciated year round don't hang as much emotion on these few special days. I feel the same when people are desperately waiting for a proposal. People say "why don't you propose to him?" and the poster says "because I'm traditional" but all I hear is "because I want proof that he actually loves me".

I don't think scraping Mother's Day is the answer, I think we should just encourage people to expect better on a daily basis.

I do treasure the cards and gifts that dds have made for me, particularly the very few that weren't done under supervision at primary school. In fact one is stuck over the top of this computer permanently. I have long forgotten the bought gifts and cards, not that there were many thankfully, my family all know my feelings on the subject of Hallmark anniversaries.

I am very happy that my mum is still with us and looking forward to having her, plus two sisters, a nephew and my own girls here for a Sunday lunch tomorrow. Good excuse for roasting a serious size joint and YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS!!!

I'm not expecting flowers, chocolates or cards (well the chocolates would be quite nice...)

At the same time I will be aware that some of my friends and family will not want to participate, because the loss of their own mum or child is too painful, or the no child ever came along, or their relationship with their mother is vile. I'm not going to bang on all over Facebook with competitive piles of bunches of flowers or anything like that. I'll leave that to the Huns.

Floralnomad

"The thing is if you did away with all the days that upset someone nobody would celebrate anything ."

So true.

We should just scrap all holidays and find something else to be miserable and moan about online instead.

it seems quite clear that they never make and effort any other day of the year, and these are the days that they need a grand gesture to remind them why they bother.

Well tbh this is kind of the point. Most of us don't do the very best we can all the time for those we love, so I actually don't think it's such a terrible idea to set one day aside a year to remind ourselves. If you still won't make any effort on the one day that every shop is making it really, really easy for you, then yes that's hurtful.

I know it's not a substitute for anything. My father made grand gestures to my mother on Valentine's Day and treated her like shit the rest of the year. So it's obviously not a guarantee of anything. But assuming you do love someone and treat them well, why would you choose the one day that everyone's made it easy for you to do something nice to suddenly become a revolutionary who's got to stick it to the man?

Glad to know I misunderstood your post NorthernLurker though of course it is not nice to know that others have suffered.

I mean, I will buy flowers for graves, or when invited somewhere for dinner, or to say goodbye or good luck or send condolences. And I never worry about supporting the evil big businesses while doing it.

So if the only time I ever start making anti capitalist statements about ut is when it's Mothers' Day, that does make me a bit of a tit.

I've just been to Sainsbury's and was so shocked by how expensive and shit the flowers were.

It should be a day where children can spend a pocket money amount on a small bar of chocolate or some flowers to say thank you and that be that. Some of the flowers were £20 for some carnations and blossom.

YABU.
Oh, and this.
The thing is if you did away with all the days that upset someone nobody would celebrate anything

Well, PoorYorick, I suppose it depends on how the recipient feels as much as the sender. As I said earlier, I send my mother a card, because she would have sent her mother a card in her day. But I don't send her a gift because she would regard that as over the top. I guess a meet up and family meal would be appreciated, but it isn't always practicable.

As a mother, I really don't want anything my children could buy me, especially not the tat in the shops that you describe as making it easy for people to show their appreciation. It would be nice to be treated in some way - breakfast in bed, maybe - but realistically I only want a slightly more family focussed day than would normally occur on a Sunday. I don't measure the love my children feel for me by what they do or don't do for me/give me on MS.

If it makes others happy, great. But the point of this thread seems to be that what makes one person happy is capable of making another absolutely miserable.

It should be a day where children can spend a pocket money amount on a small bar of chocolate or some flowers to say thank you and that be that. Some of the flowers were £20 for some carnations and blossom

It still is It's not the law to have to buy over-priced stuff. I'd seriously be happy with a home made card and a bar of my favourite chocolate.
It's not about how much you do or don't spend.
I'll never understand the types of thread that'll no doubt pop up tomorrow as they always do going "AIBU,my present's cheap and crap"

I have mixed feelings. When my Mum was alive I always bought things for her, find it painful even after 16 years, especialy as the anniversary of her death is in March as well. Likewise when MIL was alive we used to go out for a meal every year, there were a couple of years just after my Mum died when I couldn't face it but it passed. Yes, I feel sad but at the same time as a Mum myself I feel that I am entitled to celebrate it and to try and feel a ittle joy. We usually go out for a meal (to a pub or something) as I refuse to reheat on Mothers Day. I have also bought some nice flowers today to remember my Mum and MIL, they cost £15 so they might have to do for my Mum's anniversary as well . Yes its commercialism, yes its a racket but obviously its up to the individual where to draw the line.

Ha ha ha. I love the Ernest sentiments. I want a fit bit or an iPad mini. admit the iPad mini is somewhat of a piss take, but worth a bash

So glad to rea some of the responses son this thread - I was beginning to think I was the only person in the country who didn't celebrate it.

Mothering Sunday is the only day I celebrate alongside Xmas and Easter. In fact I feel stronger about how commercial Xmas and Easter gave become.
Mothering Sunday is something I celebrate with my mum. I'm very lucky to still have her, many of my friends have lost their mums.

We do low key though I don't do restaurants, spa days bouquets eye. My mum is getting a rose for her garden bought/ordered 3 months ago. We both live our gardens and flowers so often trst each other to something nice or different for the garden through spring and summer anyway. I saw this Rose in the sale. It's my mum's name so I'm giving it to her tomortow.
I'm also cooking a Sunday roast gor us all and invited my mum along too. I cannot do with the over inflated redtsurant/pub prices menus on Mothering Sunday.

To me Fathers day is a load of made up bollocks. It's not even a day in the church calendar. Purely made up for commercial means. Valentine's I just don't get - I suppose it's ok if you want to hint to someone you fancy them but for couples already together I just don't get it.

I have just written on another thread along the same lines. I fully expected remarks telling me I am a heard hearted so and so. I am a mother and my children spend money on me that I am sure they can’t afford. I have told them not to do this but they continue to do so. If they want to take me out why does it have to be on Mother’s Day? I hate the continual commercialism, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Easter,Fathers Day, Grandparents Days, This is before birthdays, anniversaries etc. Robbing kids is not my bag.