Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

[TuscanMum]

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

She should keep it to herself. However, I've never given birth vaginally as I requested c-sections due to the fear of it all. They weren't easy and there is a lot of hard work with recovery involved. But I am in awe of women who do give birth vaginally and they should feel proud. It doesn't matter how many billions of women have done it. It is AMAZING. But yeah keep it to themselves 

Oh is it Performance Pushing now? a la 'Im better & stronger than you/I need to find a way to prove I'm the better woman?'

There's always a "thing" with some people isn't there. Roll eyes move on is best. If they're that up themselves there is no reply that will get through to them anyway.

I would think nothing of someone having a natural birth, it’s normal.
I have awe for anyone who has had a c section though, those mothers are brave!

^ This.

People always tell me they are jealous of my quick labours, but in reality both were so fast that my children were in distress and drastic intervention was taken to get them out fast. Yes both of my labours have been over quickly but I'm yet to give birth without at least half a dozen people in the room.

Just a question genuine question for opinions not to cause a spat but why should she keep it to herself on her own Instagram?

I had one natural birth with just gas & air and one emergency c-section. Trust me when I say natural birth is a walk in the park (and requires much less personal strength and resilience) compared to that.

Mean spirited? 😂😂

Fuck that self congratulatory bollocks, you have the birth that the roll of the dice gave you.

FWIW I'll have a natural birth when men have natural vasectomies.

Sucking down nitrous oxide is generally not seen to be a 'natural' birth.

How is natural birth with "just gas and air" more natural than "natural birth with epidural"?

What does natural even mean....surely being in a hospital is unnatural. You should be up in the mountains naked in a stream.

It's a baby, and a body, surely getting it out whichever way is possible/easy/necessary is "natural".

Such a bizarre meaningless word.

It was nothing to do with you. I can see how it was annoying because it felt like it was about you but it wasn't about you.

There's a lot of shaming crap about giving birth but that's not what she was doing. She was talking about herself.

It's kind of like getting upset because she said her baby is the world's best baby or she has the world's best husband or something. It's about her not about you, you're not competing with her.

If women can't talk about being proud of how they gave birth this shaming is never going to go away. If you're proud to have a section and that makes you too posh to push, if you're proud to give birth vaginally and that makes you self congratulatory, if you're proud to have gotten through a difficult birth, many interventions and that makes you a whinger trying to put other women off, what it all really means is that women shouldn't be proud to have given birth. Considering until fairly recently women were explicitly supposed to be ashamed both to be pregnant and to not have children it's clearly something we should work against and not seek to reinforce by telling women to be less proud, whatever language they use to express their pride in themselves like thanking god for their strength or anything as long as it isn't about putting down other women.

*SimplySwimming

managed what Trailed? doing something than millions of women have done?

I don't care what other women do. But I've had three vaginal births and I'm proud of myself, especially for ds3's birth for a variety of reasons.

Sorry if that offends you, it's kind of tough shit though considering that my own pride in myself is bog all to do with you.*

I didn’t choose my EMCS - I had absolutely no say in it. I didn’t “manage” - it was a matter of life and death.

Your comments are exactly the sort that irk, imo.

I tend to think of natural as vag birth with no real pain relief. I don’t count gas and air because, in my experience, it’s rubbish.

I don’t think natural is better, I chose to have a cesarean, that’s just what the word means to me

Difficult births (hence greater need for c sections) are more to do with how highly evolved we are - that our hips have realigned for better bipedalism than other ape ancestors thus freeing our hands that have made c-sections possible!

Natural births are for lower apes!

I've had a mixture of natural labours and c-sections and I'd find this annoying.

During my natural labour, I didn't avoid pain relief because of my amazing strength but because I was lucky enough to have a fairly easy labour. I know this because I'm generally pretty shit with pain and at other points in my life when I've hurt myself I've cried, taken shit loads of pain relief and been generally pathetic.

I think the correct response is to be grateful that I had a fairly easy labour when many other women aren't nearly as lucky and remain aware that I had very little control over it.

One of DH's friends crowed all over social media about how proud she was that she gave her babies the best start in life. No drugs and no knives, no giving in and chickening out, no easy route, just love and determination.

I had significant ptsd and pnd after a homebirth turned into a crash cs, birth injuries and pph.

I can't tell you how it hurt to read that.

I don't judge what you do. But I dislike when people lie about it..
My cousin had to have a c-section as her baby was too big and she's really petite and slim. An then when I was in labour she kept messaging me how she had a Vaginal birth despite putting it online she delivered via c section. I don't like how people try and hide it cause they're ashamed or view it as something different. It's still birth.
I'm happy I have birth how I did. Not because I'm smug. But c section terrifies me. It almost had to be done. But I managed to push through and prove I could do it. Plus I've heard the recovery time is more rough to you ladies. It sounds so painful.
It's all birth. We all carry beautiful babies and it doesn't matter how a baby is delivered as long as baby is healthy

Good for her, childbirth is amazing, she should be very proud.

I've had 2 C sections and found the experience amazing too, nothing could ever take away from that indescribable joy and pride. My children are my biggest achievement.

...And I can still jump on a trampoline without peeing myself a little

Why would anyone feel proud of birthing vaginally? It’s not a choice apart from the very few mega rich people who pay privately for an optional section. It’s not like I could have said at any point during my labour ‘I’d prefer to have a c-section please’ but chose not to and persevered! The baby didn’t get stuck or distressed so was born vaginally. Not a thing I could have done to encourage or avoid it!
I can see why people are proud of bfing as it’s hard work and has health benefits (I didn’t manage for long) but being proud of not having birth complications??? It’s just weird. It means I also don’t get why anyone would feel remotely bad about having to have a section even though I’ve seen it a lot written on here. I just don’t get why it’s bad (other than recouperation time for the mother).

The comment wouldn't bother me. I think it's OK to be proud of things you've done without putting down others that havent.

Like I was be of myself when I did a 5km run, even though people who run that every day wouldn't be particularly proud, and even though it was partially luck that I have a body that can do it, while people with no legs (for example) couldn't do that through no fault of their own. And I wouldn't be thinking people who perhaps physically could have run 5km but didn't should be ashamed. It was a personal achievement of mine with no bearing on others.

I think anyone who attempts a vb should be proud, because I was way to scared! Cs all the way for me.

• was proud of myself

Women in comas have given birth. Beyond a certain point in the process, the bus very much drives itself - doesn't matter whether you're strong or weak, kind or cruel, old or young, tall or short - the baby will be coming out in some form or fashion no matter what you do. It's a physiological process over which our control is ultimately incredibly limited, almost to the point of non-existence. That it can be incredible and awe-inspiring to behold or survive in no way mitigates this.

I cant abide the people the push of the "strength" narrative - not only because it unavoidably implies failure on the part of others, but because it's so damnably patronising and insulting to attribute "strength" and other value-based qualities to women on the basis of aforementioned process into which they had very little active input. Utterly disingenuous and head-patty. People don't need to be cosseted and shielded from the truth - birth has been absolutely deadly for the overwhelming majority of human existence, and it killed and maimed indiscriminately - warriors and wusses alike.

Aw I think its sweet that god loves her more than all the women that had more complex or difficult births!

Wonder what the rest of us did to deserve the births we got eh?

I agree with rinabean & Thursdaydreaming why does it matter whether someone feels proud for their achievements. It’s about them not a reflection on you. As Thursdaydreaming said if I felt proud to get off my butt & do a 10k should I worry about offending people who can’t walk? Make the right decisions for you & be happy with them then others peoples experiences shouldn’t make you feel bad.

It is vaginal or non vaginal. Not natural or not. The other ways of describing it are value laden whether deliberately or not.