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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD friend's mum not picking up the phone..

621 replies

lunakitty2609 · 09/03/2018 22:25

So my Dd (9) is staying the night at her friend's house for the first time. The parents of the friend know this is her first time away. I tried texting friends mum at 8.30pm to make sure dd was okay, no reply. I have since tried phoning 7 times in 20-minute intervals, still nothing... Who does that? AIBU??

OP posts:
sonjadog · 10/03/2018 09:35

I find it unlikely that she is ignoring your calls. It is more likely that she doesn't sit there with her phone in her hand, or she put it on silent yesterday and forgot to put the sound on again, and at some point she will find her phone, realize you've been calling, and call you back.

BertrandRussell · 10/03/2018 09:36

It's a broken/lost phone. Absolutely guaranteed. OP-do not let yourself be wound up. Honestly-it's fine.

SheldonandPenny · 10/03/2018 09:37

OP if you feel concerned why not drop by at the day trip? If you feel you need to check in with DD why not.

chinam · 10/03/2018 09:37

Op, are you sure you have the right phone number for the mum?

Tiredbadger · 10/03/2018 09:40

Do you definitely have the right number? Can you try sending the mum a message on Facebook perhaps?

Elizanotlittle · 10/03/2018 09:41

That is a bit odd

I understand why you are worried.

I know some people don't agree but my dd (9)has her own phone for these reasons and so I can use friend finder as her Dad is as bad with contact as the parents your dd with are.

I hope you hear something soon.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 10/03/2018 09:42

Yes could be wrong number. (Hopefully!)

Bertrand, there are plenty of reasons is too a child going on a sleepover if you don’t want them to.

Lizzie48 · 10/03/2018 09:42

Sorry to hear that, OP, but I honestly would relax and let them have a fun day out. But another text would be in order, or you could call their landline.

In future make definite arrangements about when she's coming back then you can just chill out and think no news is good news.

Sassydoughnut · 10/03/2018 09:44

My son has had sleepovers and gone on holiday with a friend, all before the age of 9. I never called, always left it to the other parents. I trust them. Calling someone 7 times is way over the top and looks a bit odd, TBH.
You must trust the mum, otherwise you wouldn't let her stay there. 9 is old enough for these things, your daughter is probably having fun and has forgotten all about you!!!
I'm sure she's fine and the other mum would call if any problems arise.

Tinkerbec · 10/03/2018 09:44

Surely it’s common courtesy for the hosting parents to send the guest parents a few pics of the kids enjoying themselves or at the very least a call to say good night to their parents.

Just me? Confused

Original poster
lunakitty2609 · 10/03/2018 09:45

It's the right number because I've had replies leading up to the sleepover to arrange times etc.. It's not off because it rings before going to voicemail. Could be on silent but I would assume you would check your phone at least once.
I don't really know what to think, probably everything is fine but because I don't definitively know... I'm worried. Blush

OP posts:
UnicornRainbowColours · 10/03/2018 09:45

Do you remember growing up in the 80’s/90’s with no contact? She’ll be fine enjoy your child free day.

snewsname · 10/03/2018 09:47

It's a bit off really. I'm crap at checking my phone regularly but you'd have thought she'd have looked this morning before setting off, if nothing else.

Sassydoughnut · 10/03/2018 09:47

If it was me hosting a sleepover, I would text the mum to let them know all was OK. But people are different and maybe she didn't feel it was necessary. But I always have my phone on and close to me in case the other parent wants an update.
So I understand your frustration with that.
Maybe arrange a definite time for other mum to contact you during sleepovers in future.

FilledSoda · 10/03/2018 09:48

I wouldn't ring more than once to a mobile number for the simple reason that it will display a missed call , so they will know you rang when they look at their phone.
If I saw 7 missed calls I'd assume there was an emergency , I'd feel a bit sick to be honest wondering what on earth had happened .
I expect you'll get a text this morning but I don't expect your dd will be invited back .

Trailedanderror · 10/03/2018 09:49

Everything is fine because you would have heard if it wasn't. The mum is being very thoughtless though. Flowers

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 10/03/2018 09:50

That’s off Angry
But folks are different and maybe she has hidden the phone to stop her kids playing with it (what i do !)

Aworldofmyown · 10/03/2018 09:51

I wouldn't like this at all, it is totally unreasonable not to have replied or not be contactable when you have someone else child.

Totally not unreasonable to want to check that your child is ok on a first sleepover at a friends.

What if OP was trying to contact her daughter in an emergency?

RebelRogue · 10/03/2018 09:51

It's even more unreasonable now that it's morning and unless her phone was lost/stolen/broken she would've seen you tried to get in touch with her.

ArchchancellorsHat · 10/03/2018 09:51

I'm surprised she still hasn't etxted you. I thought 7 calls was a bit OTT but obviously, it was only after she hadn't replied to a perfectly normal text. I'd have thought she'd look at her phone today even if she didn't last night.

What kind of delays were there when you were texting to arrange this - was she pretty quick or did she only replay after a while?

Original poster
lunakitty2609 · 10/03/2018 09:51

If I saw 7 missed calls I'd assume there was an emergency
Well I sent a nice text least night to explain the missed calls and to tell her there had been no emergency and I was sorry for the missed calls, I'm just a worrier.

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 10/03/2018 09:53

I think it us very dim and rude nor to be contactable in this situation. There could have been an important reason to get in touch so this would make me think the hosts were a bit flaky.

Aworldofmyown · 10/03/2018 09:53

Would they have already left for their trip?

user1497863568 · 10/03/2018 09:54

Maybe they went to the cinema?

Original poster
lunakitty2609 · 10/03/2018 09:54

What kind of delays were there when you were texting to arrange this - was she pretty quick or did she only replay after a while?

I actually did think about this last night, when texting to arrange she took a whole day to reply so I do know she's not great with her phone. However, I do know that she at least looks at it once a day so that's why I'm annoyed.

OP posts: