DD friend's mum not picking up the phone..

[lunakitty2609]

So my Dd (9) is staying the night at her friend's house for the first time. The parents of the friend know this is her first time away. I tried texting friends mum at 8.30pm to make sure dd was okay, no reply. I have since tried phoning 7 times in 20-minute intervals, still nothing... Who does that? AIBU??

This is all arse about tit.
It's the parent of the child that should have the phone on them handy in case the sleepover parent needs to contact them in the unlikely event of the child suddenly being poorly or not settling.

Not the other way round.

Ha ha, thanks LimonViola, I don't have Autocorrect .

TheMythicalChicken in what world do you live in where there has been some terrible incident at a sleepover that the parent wouldn't phone the child's parents immediately?

Do you honestly think they wouldn't call you straightaway?

The answer is YES. They would. You're being ridiculous and need to get help for your irrational and far fetched notions.

Some parents are anxious, some are not. I fall more into the former category so this would worry me, but I wouldn’t have called 7 times!

If my child has a friend to sleepover I text the Mum at bedtime to let them know that all is well etc, so they’ve had an update. Takes seconds to do.

Also if you are that anxious that you're going to make yourself ill if the parent looking after your child at a sleepover doesn't contact you the most sensible thing to do is to warn them that you'll be expecting a text that evening.

It's unfair to put the blame on them because of your anxieties.

Love I would be fine with it too. It isn't a rule. In fact it only occurred to me on reading this thread!

My kids need to branch out!

"I therefore would have worried that there had been an accident or some other calamatous reason why she wasn't answering the phone."

Like what?

The reason is that EVERYONE has their phone on them ALL THE TIME.

Well that's just not true. Lots and lots of people don't. And lots of people live in areas with poor mobile reception. Not being contactable is not the same as not being instantly contactable.

@BertrandRussell I think when posters said, 'at least she's ok', they were just responding to the OP's concerns. I merely read her concerns as being because it was her DD's first ever sleepover and she was worried that she would be homesick and not want to stay.

The mention of abuse came up in response to a question about why a parent might be anxious, and, I think, it was more in relation to the PP whose DH didn't allow sleepovers at all. I don't think the OP ever said she was worried about it.

For me, if a child can't stay away from home by the age of 9 that's very sad. My DDs have both been away, DD1 will be going away to 2 camps in the next few weeks and she's very excited about that. (She'll be 9 at the end of the month.)

Treacle read the circle by Dave eggars. This thread proves his point totally...everyone must be online and available at all times. If not - why not? Privacy is theft.

I think she got into a state because the other mum didn't ring back. My MIL gets like this, panics if we don't call her back straightaway, and calls over and over again until we answer. When we ask what she's worried about she can't tell us. It's called anxiety.

Lizzie do you not think that if the child was upset and possibly wanted to go home that the parent in charge wouldn't ring the mother?

You're being ridiculous and need to get help for your irrational and far fetched notions.

God, you're rude!

To answer the question, they could have popped out for a takeaway and been wiped out in a car crash. Unfortunately that happened to a family near us just before Christmas.

The reason is that EVERYONE has their phone on them ALL THE TIME

Bollocks, that's just not true! Just because some people are glued to their phones, to the point where when in company, they rudely keep checking it, doesn't mean that everyone has it on them ALL the time. You just have to read the replies on here to see that some people leave them in another room/bag/coat pocket.

I only use my phone when I'm in hospital, on holiday, or to send the occasional text (usually just to keep my number live, as I use it so rarely). A lot of the time the battery dies and it can be days or even a couple of weeks before I realise and charge it up.

Even if it was the law that we had to keep our mobiles on our person, there would be people who don't.

To answer the question, they could have popped out for a takeaway and been wiped out in a car crash. Unfortunately that happened to a family near us just before Christmas.

You prove my point then. Irrational and far fetched notions. You can't go through life thinking of the worst possible scenario just because there might have been an accident near you!

I don't live in an area of poor phone reception and neither does the OP, from what I can read.

I remember I was looking after someone's parrot. I used to go round and feed him and talk to him. It would always be on my mind that she might call on the days that I did this, just to check that he was OK. I certainly wouldn't have left my phone out of earshot after visiting him, just in case she wanted to check that he was OK.

I would expect the same courtesy for a child.

You just have to read the replies on here to see that some people leave them in another room/bag/coat pocket.

Yes, but they wouldn't generally switch the sound off.

But then you'd see your phone later on and be able to reassure her the parrot was ok

Or would she have assumed the worst because you're watching a film or having a bath?!

I think phones have made us want an instant answer and reassurance about every single thing (well some of us) when we all used to be quite capable of applying our own logic and rational.

We had ONE phone call home the week we went away with the school at 10, on a landline. As far as I know my parents didn't think I'd falling off a cliff or died tragically in the meantime.

It's just respectful HarrietKettle. She entrusted me to look after him so I wanted to ensure I was accessible in case she had any questions.

I agree with you, @GreatDuckCookery I'm saying what the OP might have thought, not what I would have thought! I do let my DDs go away overnight!!

It's called anxiety. I do have that but I don't let it stop my DDs having fun.

At all times?

Yes you're right Harriet. Mobile phones have made people expect a reply the second you send that text then when it's not responded to immediately the texter become either indignant and up in arms or worries themselves sick that something terrible has happened. When in reality the person is probably busy looking after your child and making sure they're having a good time at their sleepover cooking dinner, working, or out with the bloody dog! Utter madness.

yes, but they wouldn't generally switch the sound off.

Your experiences do not mean that everyone else is the same.

Actually they probably would have the sound off. Most modern phones have a do not disturb function that turns the phone to silent after a certain time. Mine is 8pm. It allows numbers I know, and also allows a call if it is twice in 5 minutes (indicating an emergenxy). It doesn't ring for numbers not in my phone at all. So it is quite readable that the phone is silent.

OP I'm a bit confused as to why they didn't get back to you - you could have had an emergency and needed to pick y9ur daughter up... if I was the parent though I think after the incessant ringing your daughter wouldn't get another invite which is a shame really.

I don't know, I think it's different for me because I run my own business so always have my phone handy. But then all my friends do also. And my husband. And DS. I wouldn't say any of us were 'glued' to our phones, but we would certainly hear them if they rang.