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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want people to come into our bedroom when they come over

137 replies

thetwinkletoescollective · 09/03/2018 21:23

My husband and I gutted and did up our house about three years ago.

When we have people come over my husband wants them to see all the rooms including our bedroom. When it was first done he would show people the all of the house.

I really didn't like it as I am of the opinion that the master bedroom is private and I have said that I don't want people to come in there.

Anyway he has a friend coming over who has never seen the house and he has just asked me if he can show him our room. I have said no. He says IAMBU as it's just a room.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/03/2018 21:54

Didn’t you post this a while ago?

Original poster
thetwinkletoescollective · 09/03/2018 21:55

Hahahaha - its definitely not that!! Its a very nice room.

Anyway my husband has found this all quite funny and we have agreed that we will add up all the people's replies and majority will rule.

I am going to watch a film now with the husband.

Thanks to everyone who has given their opinion. Its AIBU at its best because, I got to hear different views on what is quite a lighthearted subject, but is bothering me a bit!

OP posts:
Original poster
thetwinkletoescollective · 09/03/2018 21:55

AnnieAnoni mouse. I don't think so.

OP posts:
Schlimbesserung · 09/03/2018 21:56

I'd be upset too. My bedroom is private, for no other reason than that I want it to be. It isn't weird, or filthy and there is nothing there that would embarrass me. It's just my private space and I'd hate to have it put on display.

RJnomore1 · 09/03/2018 21:58

I'd hate that op.

RaindropsAndSparkles · 09/03/2018 21:59

I'm with the OP. There is no need to provide a guided tour, especially of bedrooms.

tumblrpigeon · 09/03/2018 22:01

I think you are being ridiculous

GabriellaMontez · 09/03/2018 22:01

No need to show his friend your room.

Hard to imagine he'd be interested anyway.

Plumsofwrath · 09/03/2018 22:02

Hate hate hate anyone going in my room. My bed is where I do private, personal intimate things (yes including having sex). My DH, DC, parents and siblings aside, nobody goes in there. It’s all about the private me versus the public me. Two very different images.

Esspee · 09/03/2018 22:03

I'm with you OP. My bedroom is my private space and I would never invite "viewings". Your husband is being most inconsiderate to insist.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 09/03/2018 22:03

As long as I knew they were coming so I could pick up any stray pair of knickers I wouldn’t really mind. In fact we’ve done this when we moved here and did our house up. Although I wouldn’t offer a grand tour of upstairs but would show someone that wanted a look round.

WildCherryBlossom · 09/03/2018 22:03

I'm with you OP. My room is my space.

dontbesillyhenry · 09/03/2018 22:04

Maybe OP is worried people will open her top drawer...

JoJoSM2 · 09/03/2018 22:05

I think you're being a bit ridiculous but since you feel so strongly about, I'd just not show into the bedroom if I was your husband.

GreenTulips · 09/03/2018 22:06

I hate this too!

Even when little the kids knew not to drag their friends into my room! Just NO

Snoopey · 09/03/2018 22:06

I'm the same OP, and i seldom will go upstairs in anyone else's house either. A bedroom is your own personal space imo x

SummerSazz · 09/03/2018 22:06

I’m an introvert and have no problem with people seeing our room, and would definitely show people if we’d done lots of work.

Mind you, we don’t have a door on our bedroom so I can’t really stop it 😂

MammaTJ · 09/03/2018 22:07

Unless you are actually in there having sex, I really don't see a problem with friends seeing your room.

However, you do, it is your room, as much as your DHs, your privacy you want to protect.

Why can't he put your feelings above his own? You have offered the compromise of showing pictures.

iamkahleesi · 09/03/2018 22:08

If you want that space kept private he should respect that

GnotherGnu · 09/03/2018 22:08

Yes, he is being quite forceful about the whole thing. Saying why can't I put his feelings above his own in this matter.

Fuxake, it's one room in a house. His friend won't remember anything that he's seen when he's shown round anyway. Your husband is massively exaggerating the whole issue.

And you're not BU. You're absolutely entitled to want to keep your bedroom as a private space.

Afternoon · 09/03/2018 22:11

YANBU. Your room, your house, your decision. I think the person who isn't happy with letting others into every room should have their wishes respected. Your potential upset and feelings of having your boundaries stepped over is more than the tiny amount of unjustified disappointment a visitor may feel at not getting to peek into your room!

I recall one time having several visitors round (daytime, not staying over). Downstairs was cleaned, tidied and generally very presentable for visitors. The upstairs was not prioritised. However a couple of people unexpectedly wanted a "tour" and before I knew it they were looking at things waiting to be done, clutter, laundry pile which was meant to stay hidden etc. Not surprisingly there weren't any "wow, how lovely" comments. Not sure who was most embarrassed!

flimflaminurjams · 09/03/2018 22:13

I'm with you OP.

HamishBamish · 09/03/2018 22:14

YANBU. My bedroom is private and visitors don’t go in there. I thought that was pretty standard tbh.

Creambun2 · 09/03/2018 22:15

Are you more middle class than DH?

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 09/03/2018 22:18

I don't understand house tours - my mum still drags people around her house and she's lived there 30 years... People have to make ooh and ahh noises and be impressed. I find it weird even though I grew up with it. A house is where you live, your sanctuary, not a gallery or a museum... Its all weird show offy social dancing.

Show them downstairs or some interesting feature or view, OK, but why take people just visiting for the day upstairs at all? There are usually only bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs and those aren't public spaces.