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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to read porn on a kindle at work during lunch

197 replies

FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin · 08/03/2018 14:13

Not 50 shades, better quality. Not touching or anything. No one can see what it is as I sit eating my lunch. If anyone asks, I say ‘war and peace’. Should I save it for home?

OP posts:
JAPAB · 09/03/2018 18:55

To be fair, it was the OP who asked was it OK to read PORN at work? It's quite obvious that she's really on about erotic fiction, but she was the one who called it porn, so, actually I think it is worth asking if it would be considered OK if a man was to do the same?!

I believe the standard test for distinguishing between erotic and pornography is that if it turns on a woman it's erotic, if it turns on a man it's pornography.

So maybe a woman will just be reading something erotic whereas a man will have brought sleazy pornogrpahy into the workplace.

On a more serious note, as long as people are reading these stories discreetly, do not forget themseelves, get carried away and forget where it is or isn't appropriate for their hands to be, then I couldn't care less what people read on their own devices on their breaks.

pollymere · 09/03/2018 18:56

I've had jobs where this would be a sackable offence as you have explicit literature on work premises. Whilst, I'm not bothered, it's not worth losing your job over.

Original poster
FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin · 09/03/2018 19:05

Pollymere

So Jilly Cooper needs to be deleted off my kindle or I’ll lose my job there. Even if I’m reading the Financial Times on the kindle I can’t bring it in cos it has Jilly Cooper?

OP posts:
HairyBallTheorem · 09/03/2018 19:20

I suppose there might be a clause in some workplaces, e.g. schools and nurseries. But I can't imagine them checking your kindle in detail. (I can imagine them having a policy where all electronic devices with internet and cameras have to be checked into a lock-box on arrival - then what's on them wouldn't matter).

But on the whole, I don't think it matters in most places so long as you're not salivating visibly. It's more a case of "would you want to?" Stuff with a story and the occasional sex scene, yes, but stuff where the sex was the whole point? I'd feel a bit cringe about reading that in a public place.

Adnerb95 · 09/03/2018 19:24

I didn't say words and pictures are the same.

However, you are defining them as erotica or as porn on a tenuous basis.

The argument seems to go "words are just words, because they are the type of erotic stimulus which some women enjoy but pictures are porn because they are the type of erotic stimulus some MEN enjoy"

Some big problems with logic there.

Also, for those saying that they can enjoy reading quietly and no-one need to be any the wiser ... fine, so if a man takes a porn mag into the loo at lunchtime that is OK, is it?

Prudish? No, it's about time and place. It's work! Not a place for indulging your sexual fantasies.

Helmetbymidnight · 09/03/2018 19:55

words are just words, because they are the type of erotic stimulus which some women enjoy but pictures are porn because they are the type of erotic stimulus some MEN enjoy

Where are you getting that from?

There is no problem with logic there, because nobody has suggested that.

Gacapa · 09/03/2018 20:09

Doing anything for the purpose of sexual arousal in the workplace is proper grim. Male or female, words or pictures.

Are you that fucking atavistic that you can't lay off for a few hours?

You would creep me out.

Frouby · 09/03/2018 20:15

I once accidentally read a black lace novel on the bus on the way to work. I was only 20, it was a feeebie on the front of a magazine.

Was all of a fluster when I got there. Didn't know what to do with myself.

So if it was free and you had no idea what it was yanbu.

If you want to take a wank book into work yabu.

Original poster
FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin · 09/03/2018 20:27

Frouby

I could have been the bus itself...

OP posts:
BroomstickOfLove · 09/03/2018 20:31

Meh, I read fanfic in my lunch break all the time. There's usually a romantic plot or subplot and sometimes there's explicit, erotically-written sex. I wouldn't read something at work that was solely written as porn, but mostly still of the very explicit stuff I read is very much plot and emotion driven. So while the two main characters in the story I was reading had very explicitly described sex in one chapter, most of the story was about falling in love, relationships with colleagues, solving a dangerous problem, dealing with conflicts between work and family and so on.

cdtaylornats · 09/03/2018 20:33

JAPAB - the difference is using a feather is erotic, the whole chicken is porn.

Nettie1964 · 09/03/2018 20:48

Sorry but if it was a man reading porn at work! YRBU. Get over yourself.

Abbylee · 09/03/2018 20:52

Romance authors are getting a boon bc women (I'm assuming few men) were ashamed to be seen reading romance of all kinds in public. Now they can read privately.

However, my family says that sometimes i smile when i read, so beware. (I don't like porn, but some H/h dialogue can be funny.)

SaveBandit · 09/03/2018 20:55

I did this once by accident. I temped as a receptionist and had a really quiet day and nobody was due to come in all afternoon so popped to the nearest book store at lunch and picked up a book. This one was on sale and about a wedding and looked like a nice read, I was in the middle of a breakup and wanted to read about people in love and happy.

Sat at my desk reading and things suddenly heated up. The manager came out and asked if I was ok and I said "No, I've bought a sex book!" He thought it was hilarious and we both sat on reception for the next half hour opening pages at random and reading out extracts in dramatic voices.

Adnerb95 · 09/03/2018 21:04

helmet

You obviously haven't read all the PPs saying that words are OK but pictures aren't!

HairyBallTheorem · 09/03/2018 21:21

But they're not making the words/pictures distinction on the basis of women like the former, men like the latter. They're doing it on the basis of "you can spot a jazz mag from the other side of the canteen, you can't read the words on someone's kindle till you're next to them." So you could in theory read a smutty novel in the canteen without any of your colleagues being any the wiser. The question is more why would you want to? Most of us prefer to save getting turned on till we're alone or with a partner.

Adnerb95 · 09/03/2018 21:27

hairy

No, you are right. They are not (openly) distinguishing between words and pictures on that basis. But that's my point. It's convenient to make out how different they are. But the end result is the same - sexual arousal - so PPs who make out the two are not comparable are simply glossing over the fact that the key difference is the appeal to different sexes.

HairyBallTheorem · 09/03/2018 21:31

Well (not wanting to wander off topic) there is one other issue with pictures, if they're photos/videos - they're pictures of real people, so there's (for me anyway, as a feminist) a huge question mark over whether the performers are coerced or not. With the written word you know "no real actors were harmed in the making of this work." But that's a slightly different issue from the one under discussion on this thread, which I guess is "is it okay to set out to get sexually turned on in a public place surrounded by other people?"

gussyfinknottle · 09/03/2018 21:35

It would creep me out. If you were a bloke and I found out you were doing this, I would probably complain about you.
If you are a woman and you were, say, managing one of my adult nephews, I'd think you were a bit sleezy.
Go for a walk or something rather than sit enjoying a wankfest.

Helmetbymidnight · 09/03/2018 21:50

I didn't read any pp say words are ok because women use them or pictures are bad because men use them.

That was all your own work.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/03/2018 22:18

How would you find out, if the person is just reading something on a Kindle, though? Unless they are behaving in a way which bothers co-workers or customers, people need to mind their own business.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/03/2018 22:19

Mind you, according to some, we should be wanking at work...

BrutusMcDogface · 09/03/2018 22:31

Haha, Re! That's brilliant. I wouldn't do it at work but I have been known to do it whilst working from home.....I'm in the "coming back refreshed and relieved of stress" camp! Grin

Kaybush · 09/03/2018 22:48

I worked at a company in the early noughties where there was apparently a huge stack of porn magazines in the men's loos.

A female freelancer discovered it when she used the male loos once when the female's was busy. She made a complaint and it was all removed. The male employees went nuts I heard! 😂😂

JAPAB · 09/03/2018 23:06

A female freelancer discovered it when she used the male loos once when the female's was busy. She made a complaint and it was all removed. The male employees went nuts I heard!

Didn't they say anything to her about going in there in the first place?

In the arly noughties a place I worked at used to have newspapers floating about the room and some of them had page 3 girls. I remember going up to a senior female and she quite openly had it open at that page, although I don't think she was looking at the woman, but reading something on page 2.