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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at friend sending her child to school with a fever

71 replies

Generallyok · 08/03/2018 10:52

Found out this morning my friends son is on day 2 of some sort of virus with a high temperature. She is sending him to school as usual but dosing up with calpol. He looked rough this morning. My son plays with this lad and I'm cross as I know he will probably pick it up in time for the weekend when are supposed to be having a family party. Why can't people keep their children at home when ill? His mum doesn't work. Aibu to be annoyed?

OP posts:
stellenbosch · 08/03/2018 10:56

I despise people who do this. They should be fined by the school.

mynameismrbloom · 08/03/2018 11:04

We missed the Christmas party and Book Day because of this. DS may have got ill anyway, but from the sounds of the coughing coming from the classroom in the weeks before these events there were enough germs to sink the school.

We used to get warned at playgroup. if you took your child in sick you would be banned! School don't seem to care.

Steeley113 · 08/03/2018 11:04

Just a high temp? I’d probably calpol and send in, could just be a bit of a cold. Life can’t stop over minor illnesses, you’d continue to work if you felt ok after a couple of paracetamol.

MyKingdomForBrie · 08/03/2018 11:04

Poor kid, and poor your ds! Fingers crossed he doesn’t catch it.

Tenroundswithmiketyson · 08/03/2018 11:05

Colds are different but I wouldn't send a child in if hed been puking

LilQueenie · 08/03/2018 11:23

first sign of a temp and the school sent my dd home. I thought it was standard.

Generallyok · 08/03/2018 11:25

I'm just a bit fed up with amount of illness we have had recently and I work so i have had to take time off each time. We have children at school with compromised immunity and I would hate my children to pass things on to them.

OP posts:
CigarsofthePharoahs · 08/03/2018 11:27

If a child has a fever, they need to be home resting. A cold? Well that depends on how bad it is.

LeighaJ · 08/03/2018 11:30

You can be contagious before even showing symptoms you're coming down with a cold/flu, so it was probably already too late.

Does seem a bit cold hearted to send him in though if his temp is high and she's a sahm.

NaiceToMeetYou · 08/03/2018 11:31

My ds gets temperatures a lot, even when it's a mild cold. He'd never be in if I kept him off every time.

Lethaldrizzle · 08/03/2018 11:31

Kids get ill. Yabu

SweetMoon · 08/03/2018 11:40

Perhaps it was just a mild fever, in which case a bit of calpol is fine. He probably has a cold. Kids get ill, once they start school you can expect them to pick up everything. If my were off every time they picked up a cold they'd never be in.

YTho · 08/03/2018 11:44

It's not ideal but at least in ds school they don't have any policy for other than vomiting and diarrhoea.

MiniEggMeister · 08/03/2018 11:52

Most schools would rather you calpol and send them in. I only keep mine off if they're not themselves. If he's too ill to be there school will send him home. They obviously thought he was fine to be in yesterday.

TeaforTiger · 08/03/2018 12:02

There are not many working parents who can keep their DC off school every time they have a mild temperature.

If they are fine with Calpol, then that's good enough. If they were really unwell the school would send them home.

Everyone is just doing their best.

Snowmagedon · 08/03/2018 13:18

Not just sending them in but also working on personal hygiene.

Sticking hands in snot.. Eating it.. Not able to wash hands properly...

Older dd has not few friends mums who's go crazy on house tidy etc. Their kids come to my house and they eat actual food with their hands Shock, don't wash hands after going to toilet... And have appalling personal hygiene.

Beetlejizz · 08/03/2018 13:28

What are the school's attendance policies like? There are some who would tell you to send a child in, in that scenario. There are also some who will tell parents not to observe the 48 hour rule. Those things have an impact.

beanii · 08/03/2018 13:56

I would do the same - calpol and send them in. I do think nowadays parents keep children off too much.

Crunchymum · 08/03/2018 14:00

You seem to know so much about it, why didn't you say something at the time?

(Assuming it was the mum who told you child had been given Calpol?)

MrsS82 · 08/03/2018 14:32

This is a bone of contention with me. My 3 year old has been in nursery for 4 months and is on a 3 week rotation of colds, vomiting, diharrea and high fevers all because other parents send their kids in ill so he has to miss nursery. Someone who doesn't have kids once commented that not everyone has the luxury of staying at home with sick kids and while I'm self employed and work from home I also have a 6 month old so it's not exactly ideal for me either. In my opinion if your child is sick they want the comfort of their home and parents and not to be doozed up on Calpol and sent to school to make life easier for their parents.

beanii · 08/03/2018 14:38

MrsS82 If they have sickness/diarrhoea yes keep them off but a temperature? Some children would never be at school!

pigshavecurlytails · 08/03/2018 14:42

depends how ill. if you keep your child off every time they have a cold and low-grade temp, they'd miss half the winter term.

MotherofaSurvivor · 08/03/2018 14:46

@Lethaldrizzle What???? Yes they do and they should be laid down with water and an attentive parent! Not sat in a classroom feeling poorly! My god! You're clearly one of them. I sincerely hope you don't have children

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 08/03/2018 14:54

Our school (in fact the whole county sent a ridiculous leaflet about it) would expect you to send your child in with a controlled temperature. It basically says only vomiting/diarrhoea or highly contagious (ie chickenpox) should keep a child off school. I would actually send my daughter in if she was ok with Calpol anyway though.

AnneOfCleavage · 08/03/2018 14:57

A high temperature is indicative of something not right so shouldn't be in school. Surprised the calpol kept him dosed up for the day. Also surprised the teachers don't notice him flagging if he looked that rough.

How much time off has this lad had already? Could be that he has been off quite a bit already and his mum had a letter about attendance - could that be it?

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