To be annoyed at friend sending her child to school with a fever

[Generallyok]

Found out this morning my friends son is on day 2 of some sort of virus with a high temperature. She is sending him to school as usual but dosing up with calpol. He looked rough this morning. My son plays with this lad and I'm cross as I know he will probably pick it up in time for the weekend when are supposed to be having a family party. Why can't people keep their children at home when ill? His mum doesn't work. Aibu to be annoyed?

It doesn't mean I send my kids full of germs to school to have miserable day and infect everybody else. No one is saying you should keep kids home for a runny nose either

If its winter and they have a runny nose they probably have an infection and germs. So yes, that's exactly what you're saying. As you apparently never send your child to school with germs.

I have to use my discretion as to when to keep my DS off to be honest. I'm a single working parent, I have no one to help with daytime childcare and if I stay home every time DS caught something I would end up either getting the sack or not having enough money to pay the bills (I'm on minimum wage). It's shit but that's life.

I agree blasto

Apparently posters on this thread would check their DC's temperature, see it's a little higher than usual and immediately take the day off work and keep them home. Rather than giving them a bit of paracetamol and seeing how they go.

Sure you do.

Paracetamol will only keep their temperature for a few hours, and the DC's school aren't allowed to administer any medication that isn't on prescription, apparently. So, if they have a fever, I keep them off.

Also, DD once had a strange bug that included a headache, no fever, D or V, school said send her in, she did no work all day because she couldn't concentrate.

speaking with primary school teachers, kids sent to school whilst ill are their pet hate too. They can't say anything, but they are not looking too kindly at the selfish parents who do that. They are powerless to do or say anything nowadays.

Parents trying to "hide" the problem by giving Calpol before sending to school, then playing surprise when called out later are even worst! God forbid their precious day and "me time" is being disturbed by a sick child, who should just get on with it.

no one is going to make them change their ways, but I do stand by calling them selfish at best, irresponsible because dangerous for others who cannot afford to be ill at worst.

How old is the kid, and how high is the fever?

The older the kid, the more likely they'll miss something important at school. I'd be more willing to keep my 2.5 year old home than my 5 year old.

I don't know how they define a fever in the UK, but here in the US kids aren't considered to actually have a fever unless they have a temp of over 100.4 F/38 C. For something lower than that, I might well just give them some medicine and send them to school and see how they do.

Parents trying to "hide" the problem by giving Calpol before sending to school, then playing surprise when called out later are even worst! God forbid their precious day and "me time" is being disturbed by a sick child, who should just get on with it.

This is very unfair to working parents. Many working people have very little leeway to take time off to look after their sick children. It can lead to warnings and potentially losing their job.

Personally I think that vomiting from a bug ie not because of coughing too much or what whatever should mean 48 hours off whether in junior or senior school.
No reason not to go to school with a cold or a cough unless the poor child feels really unwell and this probably means any sort of significant temperature.
It is not fair on the child to send them in feeling really unwell ; not to mention the antisocial element as mentioned above.

Plenty of people on here with understanding bosses and flexible working conditions.

Weird replies here. My kids never went in with a temperature. It’s not recommended to routinely calpol for a temperature either. A temperature to me, is not like a cold. If child is unwell enough for you to think you need to take a temperature, they should not be at school.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/warning-dangers-hildren-too-much-calpol-paediatrician-parents-a6753446.html

Cavoli

Some of us have to go to work. I wouldn't drop my ill child off then go and sit on my arse at home. I'm selfish for trying to get the bills paid?

I wouldn't send in my DS if he had D&V, high temperature or was drowsy/distressed fwiw. Coughs, colds, etc then yes I would and have. And I've never been called to pick him up on those occasions.

I wouldn’t give them Calpol - I find Nurofen lasts much longer.

And I think a lot of it is common sense. If child is really poorly then of course keep them off. If they’ve got a minor virus then they are better off at school.

DD is rarely off, but I would keep her off for a temperature especially if she looked rough.

My ex-friend always sent her kids in. They would puke all night and she would drag them there and cross her fingers they didn't do it in school. Not just so she didn't miss work so also she kept her free days free. I remember one of her DC looked really awful going in. She had no sympathy though.
She would then complain if she heard about other kids being sick in case 'she got it'.

For me it would depend entirely on how high the fever was and how the child was behaving. I have sent DS to nursery with a slightly elevated temperature but with no other symptoms, apart from teething, and he's much better at nursery with that then at home as it serves as a distraction. Our nursery staff are totally supportive of this.

If DS has a nasty cough or cold, accompanied by a fever and is generally grumpy or has a bad night, we reconsider. Vomiting and diarrhoea is an absolute no no and I cannot stand parents shoving kids into nursery or school before the 48hr period is up. DS was sick the other weekend, we knew it was because of something he ate rather than a bug, but we checked with nursery and they were happy as 48hr had nearly passed.

For me, not only is it horrible for the child, but it's horrible for the child to potentially pick something else up whilst poorly and risk infecting other children which, in turn, allows the bugs to spread and be recaught later down the line (particularly true of vomiting bugs).

I'm a full time working Mum so I know the shit situation of having to balance the two.

I'd be pissed!! What a crappy mom.

I think it depends on the child and how high the fever. Mine only ever get a temperature above 37.9 if they are really poorly so I wouldn’t send either of mine in with one. It’s actually one of the ways I check if they are ill enough to stay off (apart from D&V of course)

I work in a school and it is really annoying when parents send their children in when unwell. It impacts other children and staff and isn’t particularly nice for the child who has to be in school feeling poorly. Some children/adults have poor immune systems or underlying health conditions, staff may be pregnant too. I understand that it’s difficult when you work but having children is a responsibility and looking after them when they are sick is part of it! We’ve had children fall asleep in school and when we’ve called the parents they knew they were ill when they sent them in! Selfish

I now send my DDs in if they have a mild fever, say 38-38.5, I just give them Calpol. I've kept them off in the past and they've been climbing the walls by midday. I've ended up thinking, they should be in school!

Obviously, with diarrhoea or vomiting or a higher temperature, they don't go in.

YANBU. People like this are responsible for spreading illness further, and it can be potentially serious for some people. A bit of a cold fair enough, but a fever - no way should the child be at school. I think people who send their children to school ill like this should be fined as well.