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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at friend sending her child to school with a fever

71 replies

Generallyok · 08/03/2018 10:52

Found out this morning my friends son is on day 2 of some sort of virus with a high temperature. She is sending him to school as usual but dosing up with calpol. He looked rough this morning. My son plays with this lad and I'm cross as I know he will probably pick it up in time for the weekend when are supposed to be having a family party. Why can't people keep their children at home when ill? His mum doesn't work. Aibu to be annoyed?

OP posts:

madeyemoodysmum · 08/03/2018 15:00

Schools here encourages parents to send in sick kids so we have no chance. Bloody ofsted figures!

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 15:00

YANBU

It drives me nuts, and the parents are stupid. They just spread the germs so the kids end up being ill over and over again.

It's usually the same parents who take their kids on holiday during school term, and moan if their kids get ill then because it impact on their precious holidays. Call it Karma.

I do feel sorry for the kids, it's a very long day if you are feeling unwell. As an adult, you can always decide to make your way home, they can't, everybody makes the decision for them.

Mia1415 · 08/03/2018 15:05

I'd send my DS in with a fever. That is the school's policy as well (unless he was seriously unwell obviously).

MiniEggMeister · 08/03/2018 15:10

Funny that you should generalise like that cavioli, I find its the parents who keep kids off with every tiny thing are the same stupid parents who take up valuable gp appts for a day old sniffle and produce kids who end up being the office pansies off work every 5 mins with bubonic plague a runny nose

Anything else you'd like to make stupidly huge assumptions about?

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 15:13

MiniEggMeister
so you would send your sick child at school instead of letting him rest and recover at home?

It's not just stupid, it's selfish as hell. Poor kids.
And why should you give a shit about other kids who are getting infected, and the havoc it creates in their family, not your problem either.

beanii · 08/03/2018 15:18

Cavoli I do think we are raising a generation of snowflakes. My 3 aren't off with a cold or temp - same as I would still be at work.

MiniEggMeister fully agree with you - it is usually the ones who are kept off who come down with everything.

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 15:22

We are becoming so ridiculously "busy" and selfish that we can't wait to get rid of our kids at school when they are sick. Well, some of us are. Disgusting and selfish attitude.

missyB1 · 08/03/2018 15:23

I work In a school nursery class and this fucks me off big time. We constantly have kids coming in with fevers, ear infections, chest infections, vomiting, coughing their guts up, looking like death warmed up. Because God forbid their parents should look after their own sick kid. And when you phone them and tell them how ill their child is and ask themto to come and pick them up, you get told " just give them a bit of calpol they will be fine, I can't get there till 5pm" 😡

Faze84 · 08/03/2018 15:23

I understand kids get colds and fevers frequently. I would send them into school with a cold but a fever is very different. They will feel absolutely shit being at school. They wont be able to concentrate and could get very dehydrated as they may not be aware of how much fluids they are taking. Its really not fair on the kid. Even if the parent has to take a day off work well so be it... Your kid feels like death.

Kids can get sick quickly so best letting them rest.

beanii · 08/03/2018 15:25

Cavoli GP just for a temperature? No wonder I can't get an appointment then!

RadioGaGoo · 08/03/2018 15:28

Teafortiger. The AIBU specifies a high temperature, not a mild temperature.

beanii · 08/03/2018 15:30

RadioGaGoo - they could just mean higher than normal?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 08/03/2018 15:32

It's very irresponsible. My aunt suggested letting DD go on a school singing trip to Chelsea football club with D & V, and I said, "why would I do that?"

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 15:34

beanii
GP don't do home visits anymore, and the days of the family doctor popping in the evening or at weekend are long gone. I was just replying to the poster who pretend that we are getting soft on our kids compared to the "good old days". It's bollocks because not true.

beanii · 08/03/2018 15:43

There are a few in our school where the little darlings only have to cough and they are off for a few days! Genuinely wasn't like that when I was young!

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 15:53

my local schools keep sending reminders about not sending kids to school with fever, and reminding about the 48 hour rule. They are battling parents sending kids who should be home, not the other way round.

Same parents loudly complain when the teachers are off for a few days because they caught the bugs from the little darlings.

MiniEggMeister · 08/03/2018 15:59

so you would send your sick child at school instead of letting him rest and recover at home

If they have a temp/fever/various other symptoms but are fine in themselves yes I do, as I already said. I save the days off for when they are properly ill and genuinely need to rest.

Having a temp/fever/sore throat/cough/runny nose doesn't make everyone so ill they need to lie in bed all day.

MiniEggMeister · 08/03/2018 16:03

And more often than not I'm really wild and don't even calpol a fever

BlueLightPanda · 08/03/2018 16:11

my dc was off for a chest infection for 3 days and then went back and is off again for vomiting. i think i’ll definitely be getting a letter home for attendance.

TeaforTiger · 08/03/2018 16:18

It obviously was a mild temperature Radio because otherwise the child would have been sent home. Plus it's not OP's child, so I doubt she even knows the exact temperature.

If my child is a bit under the weather, but right as rain after a dose of Calpol, then why would I keep her home? I am quite capable of knowing when my child is too ill to be at school. If she flagged later in the day the school would call me (or the childminder) to collect.

As it happens she's never needed collecting from school, so I can't be doing too badly.

CavoliRiscaldati · 08/03/2018 16:31

And more often than not I'm really wild and don't even calpol a fever

do you want a medal? My GP's advice is to NOT give Calpol when you can avoid it, and it does more harm than good. I agree. It doesn't mean I send my kids full of germs to school to have miserable day and infect everybody else. No one is saying you should keep kids home for a runny nose either

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/03/2018 16:34

Agree it's selfish and unfair on the child itself.

MrsNjie · 08/03/2018 16:39

I think the strict attendance rules contribute more to this than lazy or irresponsible parenting. I was told it's best to send in your child and for the school to send them home rather than keep them off otherwise it gets classed as unauthorised. More often the child ends up feeling better throughout the school day anyway. Why miss out on an education over minor illnesses? The class would be half empty during winter if everyone stayed at home with colds and fevers

blastomama · 08/03/2018 16:41

Not only people of my parents and grand-parents age were not sent to school when they were ill, but they had a GP coming for home visits when they had temperature. (or the kids were given home-made remedies when the family couldn't afford the doctor, mainly alcohol based apparently).....We are becoming so ridiculously "busy" and selfish that we can't wait to get rid of our kids at school when they are sick. Well, some of us are. Disgusting and selfish attitude*

You may have had parents and grandparents who could keep kids at home every time they sneezed, but that's you. My mother had a min wage job that she couldn't afford to lose, so on occasion I was sent to school when I would have been better at home. My grandmother probbaly did the same to my mother, same reason.
Nothing new about it, nothing disgusting or selfish about it either. Just people doing their best in crappy situations.

My children are luckier and I've never had to do it. I don't judge others though.

blastomama · 08/03/2018 16:41

Quoting fail! First half of the above post is a quote (don't want people thinking I'd say something so daft!)

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