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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you give grandmothers "mothers day" cards from their grandchildren?

141 replies

rubyred84 · 07/03/2018 16:50

I haven't, I never have...i get my mum a gift and card from me, and my husband does the same for his mum. And my kids are helped with a card/gift for me. I should add, I never sent/was made to send my grandmother's cards or gifts on mothers day either.....is this a new thing? I get on well with my mum and MIL so would hate to think they are upset at not getting something from my kids if it's now the done thing, but it just never occurred to me as, well, they aren't my kids mum!

OP posts:

Trinity66 · 09/03/2018 15:57

Howeever, a Grandmother gets a card from her children, not her Grandchildren.

She does in my house

JessyJames · 09/03/2018 15:58

Definitely not!

My FIL gives my MIL a card on Mother's day, I find it very odd.

FIL sends a text to DH to make sure he's sent his mother a card. FFS, he's 45 years old!

starfishmummy · 09/03/2018 16:01

No because Mil gets a card and gift from dh on behalf of us all for Mothers day, which is what it is.
She gets cards from her other grandkids though and these are displayed so that we can't help but see them, however she knows our views and if she doesn't like it then tough.

My mother died before I had ds, but it would be the same for her too

starfishmummy · 09/03/2018 16:04

Jessy a couple of times my mil sent me a.mothers day card...I told her that it was very odd as I am not her mother!

NotTakenUsername · 09/03/2018 16:04

So they live a distance away but presumably close to each other? What about your cousins, do they join in? And isn’t it weird if it’s paternal cousins and maternal cousins that hardly know one another. Is it all friendly, or a bit stilted like a wedding when families are kind of ‘thrown’ together.
It sounds like my idea of sheer hell, and my grandmothers would both find it mildly ridiculous and circus like.
And my late grandfather would simply not have allowed it... in his opinion it was his job to spoil us!

Halebeke425 · 09/03/2018 16:09

I do because I'm closer to my older children's nan than I am to my own mother, I don't do anything for my mum (lots of backstory, won't derail thread with it here). The children's nan (my ex MIL) has been like a mother to me and I am always incredibly grateful for all the help and support she gives me like regularly picking them up from school and giving tea one day a week. The mothers day gifts I give her are always from me and the kids ( usually with a card saying to nanny on mother's day - I don't call her mum). I also think grandmothers still count as mothers and if you are close to them I think it's nice to do. I wasn't close to my own grandmothers so it never occurred to me with them. I wouldn't for aunties though that seems weird. Unless of course you have an aunt that's like a mother to you.

TheNaze73 · 09/03/2018 16:11

Yes, they’re both in the city. There are no cousins as both my parents were only children.
They all love it & as I’m too busy to see them at Xmas, it works well

NotTakenUsername · 09/03/2018 16:14

It sounds nice and suits your family style, but I can see moving it out by a generation it could become quite overwhelming and out of hand very easily. It sounds a bit like a ‘Hallmark holiday’, even though a bit of research tells me it was President Carter who started it a mere 40 years ago.

hairycoo · 09/03/2018 16:23

yes we do, I dont remember reading in the small print that mother's day was excluded for grandmothers. And I really like how we can get a mother's day card with nana on it :D A card and a small gift isnt going to break my bank and the joy it brings is worth it.

laurajayneinkent · 09/03/2018 18:32

Why is everyone talking about money? My kids make cards for their grandmas, who much prefer them to a bought card!! Nothing fancy but why not??

stressedoutfred · 09/03/2018 19:04

I do, I find it odd as my Mum isn't my children's Mum but she'd not be happy if she didn't get anything from them she acts as if she's their mum!

Iseveryusernametaken · 09/03/2018 20:48

Yes, I was a single parent for a few years and we lived with my parents during my divorce. They're both a huge part of my daughter's life and we celebrate that also on mother's/father's day..... I quite often get a card of the dog and cats too 😂

WishingOnABar · 09/03/2018 21:00

I have always given my grandmother a card and flowers on Mothers day, when she was alive she even got a Great Grandmother card from ds!
As pp said it’s about recognising the support they give. I am a single parent so my mum usually helps ds to pick my card and present and in turn we both get a card and gift for her, for us it is like we are celebrating one another.
Dm is a wonderful support to me and has a really fantastic bond with ds, I couldnt imagine not giving her a card to say thank you for that from him.

cheminotte · 09/03/2018 21:03

I (and DP) just get the DC to sign the card as well. But not an extra card or present.

AspelK · 09/03/2018 21:06

I do - I send one to my grandmothers and DS sends a card to my DM and MIL. It's Mothers' Day and they are my grandmothers.

CampariSpritz · 09/03/2018 21:15

I get a card & gift or flowers from me to DM & from DD to DM, DMIL & DH’s grandmother. I also send a bouquet of flowers to DD’s nanny. They all play a part in DD’s upbringing and give me a lot of support, so I like to say thank you. DMIL and her mother in particular appreciate the (admitedly small) gesture. I think it is about motherhood in general & whomever has a part in a child’s life. That said, I do draw the line at aunties: DD has 3 aunties & 4 great-aunties so it would get a bit much.

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