Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you give grandmothers "mothers day" cards from their grandchildren?

141 replies

rubyred84 · 07/03/2018 16:50

I haven't, I never have...i get my mum a gift and card from me, and my husband does the same for his mum. And my kids are helped with a card/gift for me. I should add, I never sent/was made to send my grandmother's cards or gifts on mothers day either.....is this a new thing? I get on well with my mum and MIL so would hate to think they are upset at not getting something from my kids if it's now the done thing, but it just never occurred to me as, well, they aren't my kids mum!

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 09/03/2018 12:00

Yes. We give a card from me and also a card from the grandchildren to me Mum and my MIL.

NotTakenUsername · 09/03/2018 12:00

My dsis does this every year on mother’s day for Dm from her kids.
I know my dm finds it strange as we have both always been of the ‘Mother’s Day is for appreciating mothers’ mindset... anything more is just a byproduct of consumerism.
She does graciously accept the cards and gift but it’s all a bit awkward and strange.

bigKiteFlying · 09/03/2018 12:02

Didn't for my DGM when I was a child.

However when DC were young there was a huge expectation we would make a fuss of their DGM with not just cards but presents.

It upset me at the time as we had no help from them and children too young to do anything for me so nothing was done – DH even once took a school made card made for me and sent it to his Mum for the day Hmm.

It stopped when we did a gift deal one year - part of the gift didn’t turn up – my Mum was pleased but insisted a card would have done and MIL complained about missing item and forgot to say thank you. So they got cards sent next few years – and not ones made for me.

Now they get either cards of little gift whichever is easiest - just one from one of us with DC tacked on.

As I understood it the day originally was people in service having day off to visit their mother church so it’s just grown out again.

TittyGolightly · 09/03/2018 12:03

I’ve sent my only grandmother a card for mother’s day for 40 years. When you live hundreds of miles away these sorts of things maintain the bond.

We buried her yesterday and mother’s day this year is postponed.

ImMrsBrightside · 09/03/2018 12:18

I do because to me it is celebrating motherhood and also just because it's a nice thing to do! I also get my mother in law a card which I am sure some people on here would find abhorrent Wink

Mia1415 · 09/03/2018 12:22

I don't think its a new thing. I always sent mine one (and I'm nearly 40!). I'm getting my DM one from my DS.

Sockunicorn · 09/03/2018 12:36

All those helpfully pointing out "the clues in the title", MOTHERS day, I get your point but surely that extends to grandMOTHERS. The name is still in their title. However if you just dont do it thats your choice, but your point about the name doesnt make sense to me.

AprilLady4 · 09/03/2018 13:51

I think Mothers Day is for showing how much you appreciate the upbringing your mother is/has done for you and their love & supportiveness.

I think cards for grandmothers, aunts, etc should only be given where the grandmother has been the one doing all/most of the bringing up and has basically been acting as a mother. If they have been acting like a grandmother, only then I don't think it's appropriate to give them a MOTHERS day card.

causeimunderyourspell · 09/03/2018 13:59

I do. It's ridiculous as I get my mum, mil and stepmum a nanny one, plus one from me as well - so 6 cards each time. Gets expensive as well at Christmas for this reason!

Trinity66 · 09/03/2018 14:01

only then I don't think it's appropriate to give them a MOTHERS day card.

I shall be inappropriately making my mother smile with a card from her grand kids then Grin

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/03/2018 14:05

Titty
Sorry for your loss Flowers

Stompythedinosaur · 09/03/2018 14:13

I do. It makes them happy and it is easy to do. We will all have lunch together so nice to have something to give.

BackforGood · 09/03/2018 14:32

No. Clue is in the name. There is only one person most of us can give a Mother's Day card to {understand there might be some step Mums or possibly birth / adoptive Mums in particular circumstances for some people, or dc of same sex couples}
Howeever, a Grandmother gets a card from her children, not her Grandchildren.

Fabellini · 09/03/2018 15:07

BackforGood did you see my post from this morning? My children will be giving Mil a card as “the one person” she should receive one from has died. Our dcs are her bond with her son now too, and I want her to know she’s still a mother even though her child has gone.

NEMSparkle · 09/03/2018 15:14

I buy for my Gran, but only since one of my uncles passed away. She found the Mother’s Day following that really sad that she was missing a card, it broke my heart to see her keep looking for the missing 4th card. Since then I have always got her one not necessarily to replace but just so she has something else to look forward to and still gets 4 cards! I know she appreciates it and always says Sparkle never forgets on Mother’s Day.
Plus she’s awesome and a great Mum to my mum and gran to me and my girls!

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed · 09/03/2018 15:15

backforgood well, my mother was neglectful. She gets her dues from me. My grandmother saved the day, maybe my life. Funnily enough narrowminded lieteral reading of a holiday title doesn't feature in our lives.

NotTakenUsername · 09/03/2018 15:24

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed But presumably you don’t give your neglectful mother an acknowledgment and as such your grandmother has take on the role of ‘mother’ in your life.

seagreengirl · 09/03/2018 15:28

Argh, "the clue is in the name" people, haven't you read the thread. It's already been said!!

TheNaze73 · 09/03/2018 15:31

Never done this. 7th October is grandparents day, when I’d buy them lunch, get cards & make a fuss of them

GeekyBlinders · 09/03/2018 15:42

We do for MIL. We'll give her a card and some chocolates from 3 year old DS, on top of whatever we've bought her. She's a lovely kind woman and deserves a nice treat. We see her the day before Mother's Day because she spends Mother's Day with her own elderly MIL. I don't care that's it's not traditional or that it's playing into Hallmark's hands etc etc, she deserves nice things. My mum died years ago and I like having someone to spoil for Mother's Day.

NotTakenUsername · 09/03/2018 15:49

TheNaze73 do you get your paternal and maternal grandparents together, buy them lunch and cards and fuss them etc.
How does that work? Are you the only grand child or do you monopolise their time that day or do all their grandchildren host jointly...?
I’ve never heard of such a thing in the uk.

BackforGood · 09/03/2018 15:51

But the OP was asking about ordinary, run of the mill situations, where she is getting for her mother and dh is getting for his mother. I acknowledged there are exceptions. The particular posts you have said fall into the exceptions, not the run of the mill question the op was asking. Flowers for your situations.

TheNaze73 · 09/03/2018 15:52

The ones that are alive yes. They live some distance away & I love doing that with my sister

notthatonethanks · 09/03/2018 15:53

Yes I do. Grandmothers on both sides are lovely and it makes them happy so why not.

DotCottonDotCom · 09/03/2018 15:55

Nope. Theres a Grandparents day. And thats that