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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you give grandmothers "mothers day" cards from their grandchildren?

141 replies

rubyred84 · 07/03/2018 16:50

I haven't, I never have...i get my mum a gift and card from me, and my husband does the same for his mum. And my kids are helped with a card/gift for me. I should add, I never sent/was made to send my grandmother's cards or gifts on mothers day either.....is this a new thing? I get on well with my mum and MIL so would hate to think they are upset at not getting something from my kids if it's now the done thing, but it just never occurred to me as, well, they aren't my kids mum!

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 07/03/2018 17:19

Yes, DS gets a card for my mum. I used to send one to both my grandmothers too so it's not that new (I'm 39).

Elabear · 07/03/2018 17:19

I do from the dc to my mum, because I always gave my nan a card and gift for Mother's Day.

Mil doesn't get a card from dc as dh never sent one to his nan so he just gives mil a card from himself.

Helsingborg · 07/03/2018 17:20

Yes my dc post a card for my mum & dsis as they're heavily involved in their lived. My dc don't get anything for my sil as they are not close to them. I see it as more of a celebration of the mother figures in our lives rather than being restricted to actual mums.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 07/03/2018 17:21

No as a gran I would find that wierd. My grown up kids but me things but they buy for the mums.

It’s not grands day or aunties day it’s just a day for mums from their own children.

Still each to own

nuttyknitter · 07/03/2018 17:22

My DD and DIL both give me cards that my DGD and DGS have made. I wouldn't expect it, but I really appreciate it. I also get my DD and DIL cards - they are both amazing Mums and it's nice to make an effort to tell them that.

Neato · 07/03/2018 17:24

Yes because we fell like it's celebrating motherhood as the family. So mum, Grandma, great-grandma, step-mum and I generally text message my sister and sis-in-law just to tell them they are bloody marvellous too. It's 50p / £1 for a card to say you love and appreciate the people in your life.

MrsDustyBusty · 07/03/2018 17:27

Definitely. There's no need to be too literal about who is who's actual mother when a small gesture of love can bring joy.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 07/03/2018 17:27

I buy for my mother from me. Not because I want to send one but because the aggro after isn't worth it.

My grandmother from me because my own mother is a selfish so & so but my Gran is super supportive & we're really close. I want to make sure she gets a card from at least one person in her daughter's family.

I also buy one from my children, for my Dad's partner. She is their Nan but doesn't have any children of her own. Her whole face lights up when she gets it, and it's displayed in her house for at least 3 months.

Do what you feel is right. Or what will cause you the least stress afterwards.

BakedBeans47 · 07/03/2018 17:29

I do it for my mother - ie buy card, stamps and get my children to write and post a card. The fallout from my mother if this didn't happen simply wouldn't be worth it.

This really. My mum always made me and my sister get stuff for my Gran so she’s kind of made it a thing. I loved my Gran and my kids love their Gran so it’s not a big deal but it does seem kind of odd because no one else does it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/03/2018 17:32

eddie.
That’s such a lovely and sad story.

I get dd to write the Mother’s Day card to grandma from all of us. Not a separate card iyswim.

elliejjtiny · 07/03/2018 17:32

No. I buy for my mum and dh buys for his mum. He helps the DC buy stuff for me but will stop when they are old enough to do it themselves. However in the hopefully unlikely event of dh dying before mil I will carry on buying a card and present for her.

fuckoffsnow · 07/03/2018 17:39

We grew up making cards for our gran for Mothers' Day, so we do the same with the DC for our mums. My DM and MIL aren't daft enough to think that the DC have paid for the bunch of flowers themselves so it's not like we have to double up on gifts.

Idontdowindows · 07/03/2018 18:05

Nope. Then again we do nothing for mother's day (I don't want it, my mother doesn't eiher) but I send my DIL a card.

possumgoddess · 07/03/2018 18:08

I always gave my grandmother a card for mother's day as she was a huge part of my life growing up, and my children always gave their grandmother and their great grandmother cards while they were still alive. The women in our family have always been tremendously strong and supportive and it was just a little recognition that we appreciated what they did for us and that we loved them. My grandmother died in 2013 at 105, and my mother died in 2016. We miss them both greatly and it is scary for me now being at the top of the matriarchal tree! I really appreciate the cards I get from my children and grandchildren. (we don't do presents)

BossWitch · 07/03/2018 18:10

Yes but because my mum (and dad) would be really sad if she didn't get one from dd as well. But they are big into cards - they get upset if we don't send them a card for their wedding anniversary!

I can't imagine I will be expecting a mother's day card from my grandchildren when the time comes!

HelenaJustina · 07/03/2018 18:11

I never have done. My DM would find it v weird!

But co-incidentally I have just delivered a little present to my MiL, I saw it and thought of her so bought it. Would have done so at any other time of the year but she chose to think it was for Mother’s Day from her DGC. (Think Worlds Best Granny type of thing but less cheesy). Doesn’t bother me and brought her an awful lot of pleasure. So maybe I’ll do something similar next year.

Darkangel1976 · 07/03/2018 18:12

My daughters have always sent my mum a card & token gift on mothers day , but they also send my sister who their god mother a card and gift too

HulaMelody · 07/03/2018 18:17

I never did it for my grans but I could just imagine my DM (and MIL!) if we didn’t give them a card from the grandkids....

15star · 07/03/2018 18:17

Yes my children give their nan's cards and presents on mother's day. They do a lot for my children and it would feel weird not getting them anything. My mil normally gets me flowers and a card too.

NapQueen · 07/03/2018 18:19

Yes. Because she is a childminder who minds the kids full time while dh and i work so I suppose on paper she does more "mothering" than me. And by doing this she enables me to work.

sunnyday1976 · 07/03/2018 18:22

We always have. It’s Mothering Sunday (as my elderly Grandma always prefers), and to me that sounds like celebrating people who are Mothers in your family, rather than just your own Mum.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 07/03/2018 18:26

I get the celebrating mother’s i really do but for me I really would only want cards from the actual children I birthed.

Stil there’s some lovely posts and lovely family traditions here

callmeadoctor · 07/03/2018 18:37

Well this is the weirdest thread that I have ever read on here, the cards are for "Mothers Day" Confused therefore are for Mothers!!! Getting one for Grandmother is just weird! (So I'm guessing we will soon have a "Grandmothers Day!!!!!!")

HamishBamish · 07/03/2018 18:37

No. Why would you? Ir’s Mothering Sunday, not Grandmotheribg Sunday.

Daisymalone · 07/03/2018 18:38

I've got one for my grandmother in law this year. She has lost both her sons now, one just last Sunday and I can't bare the thought of her not receiving the card she should have 😖

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