To say my ILs cant stay in our house so near to my due date (even though I am letting my parents stay)?

[windchimesabotage]

My ILs whom I dont know very well as they live in Korea are coming to the UK a couple of weeks before im due to give birth.
We do have a spare room (which is going to be turned into the babys room once she arrives) but I have said that they cannot stay with us.

I also have a 3 yo son.
I just dont really want them in the house when im that pregnant and I also have to look after my son. They arent the type of people who will actually help out in any practical sense (altho they are nice enough people). Its also important to not that the are very big drinkers. Im talking a few bottles of wine a day each.
Which I cant really tolerate in my house right now. Not with my toddler and also with me being completely sober the whole time. I think it would just be draining tedious and alarming. Id be permanantly on edge. Its not that they have ever done anything wrong when drunk... I just dont want the anxiety of dealing with very drunk people day after day when im already dealing with a toddler.

Thing is tho I am (somewhat reluctantly) letting my parents stay in the house a week after my due date. They had agreed to come over to the UK (they live in Italy) to help with my toddler whilst we settled in the baby. They were going to rent somewhere near by us for a month. However this fell thru and they have ended up only being able to rent somewhere for a week and want to stay the rest of the time in our house.

Now im very grateful to them and I know they will be of more practical help than my ILs as they have looked after my son before and have a good relationship with him. I am a bit tense because they are chain smokers however and dont really understand anyones issue with smoking at all.

To be honest I feel a bit invaded with this threat of all these visitors when im about to have my baby. I dont think I can really turn my own parents away however when they will be doing me a massive favour by coming to the UK to watch my son whilst im in labour.

WIBU to say that my ILs cannot stay in our house though? I really dont think id cope having them just a week or so before my own parents turn up when im heavily pregnant?

well done!

Brilliant op now be calm be serene and stress free. Hope the both is amazing and your mum is as good as can be expected. xx

The birth obviousiy

yes im really happy! That is a great weight off my mind! x

Thelcon what a cruel thing to write.

Op that’s wonderful. I think was evident throughout that you were worried about hurting them, much more than ‘offending’ them.

You are lucky to have such lovely (and helpful!) parents and they have obviously raised a lovely thoughtful daughter.

I wouldn't let any of them stay. Drunk grandparents are less of a threat to your DC than smoking and who is to say they will drink, they might not! Smokers won't not smoke!

@windchimesabotage, that's great news. Well done on tackling it head on.

Lots of luck

Either both can stay or none. If DH agreed his family could stay but mine couldn't he'd quickly be told other wise. Neither set of parents are more important and smokers simply wouldn't be allowed to stay,

Really? Even if your husband had just gone through major surgery, would be the one at home with them, and also had to look after a baby and toddler?

Great news!

Great solution op. For the record before the update is have said treat both the same or either both sets of parents stay or both sets of parents have b&b etc nearby. The smoking effects more as even being lose to someone who smoked effects me and any children. The alcohol abuse although not good didnt effect the air dc breath. Glad everything sorted though op.

Id also never ever ever allow a smoker to stay overnight as the nicotine coming out of the skin is awful and stuck my sheets and mattress. Luckily i know no one who smokes so never been a problem.

To be fair Angels, as well as mentioning she'll be with the IL's all the time, she has also since stated that the in-laws will be out and about all the time, as they were coming to visit various places/people anyway.