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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

weddings, cutlery, bread and wine

295 replies

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 07/03/2018 09:22

I've been at a few weddings recently in lovely hotels with 3-course wedding breakfasts where the bride, groom and a lot of the guests are blatantly confused by the cutlery.

At DBIL's wedding neither he, new DSIL or her parents had a clue what to use. Poor MIL had to whisper what to do to them - and will probably turn up as an interfering MIL in AIBU herself because of it Grin

Whilst I don't think anyone should have to know what cutlery to use AIBU to think the hotel could at least give the bride and groom a few tips beforehand? Maybe in the paperwork so it's not patronising in any way.

If I didn't know I would like to know so I didn't make a plum of myself at my own wedding.

Not much you can do about the guests I guess but it's mighty irritating to find someone has snaffled your bread roll or one of your wine glasses because they don't know which side is which and the ensuing kerfuffle as the spare one is tracked down.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 08/03/2018 21:43

Ours was detached.

That's where my parents went wrong, we lived in a Georgian house but it was a semi. My lack of knowledge is nothing to do with the fact we ate tea every night on our laps watching Neighbours.

Ivymaud · 08/03/2018 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wincher · 08/03/2018 22:01

We were actually taught the rules of formal dining at my (private, all girls) secondary school, and it has come in useful over the years. I was actually at a formal work dinner last night and at least one person on my table was confused about which roll was hers. I did happen to notice that we all did the breaking the roll and buttering it a bit at a time! I never know which glass you're meant to use for which drink though. I had a big and a small wine glass and used the big one for both colours of wine (ouch, my head this morning...) and the small one for water, which I'm sure isn't right but never mind!

I would really cringe at instructions in weddding invitations though. Wedding meals should be enjoyable for everyone and it really isn't the end of the world if someone uses the wrong cutlery or butters their whole roll. I was always brought up with "keep your eyes off your neighbour's plate".

LaurieMarlow · 08/03/2018 22:25

Ours was detached.

Ooooh, now I get it Confused Grin

toomuchtooold · 09/03/2018 06:33

Ours was detached

Do you know, when I was a kid being socially mobile, I always used to have and then dismiss the feeling that my accent, background, eating habits etc were being judged in detail by the middle middle class wannabes posh people around me. It's kind of validating to know that some of them probably did derive their identity from this shite.

Willow2017 · 09/03/2018 09:05

Damm i missed the georgian era by 30 years. Maybe our detatched victorian house just didnt have the same osmotic affect georgian houses have?

RoseWhiteTips · 09/03/2018 13:46

...osmotic effect...

Ivymaud · 09/03/2018 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ivymaud · 09/03/2018 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RoseWhiteTips · 09/03/2018 14:00

It is not affect; it is effect.
I do hope that correction is useful.

RoseWhiteTips · 09/03/2018 14:00

ELEMENTARY mistakes!!! How utterly daft.

NerrSnerr · 09/03/2018 14:02

I have established from this thread that a posh meal with @RoseWhiteTips probably wouldn’t be fun however she eats her bread.

Chrys2017 · 09/03/2018 14:03

You're not supposed to eat the bread roll anyway—you're supposed to throw it at a policeman, or at the person standing up making a speech.

RoseWhiteTips · 09/03/2018 14:09

Chrys2017

You're not supposed to eat the bread roll anyway—you're supposed to throw it at a policeman, or at the person standing up making a speech.

🤣

Ivymaud · 09/03/2018 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ivymaud · 09/03/2018 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MotherofDinosaurs · 09/03/2018 17:55

Hallo, I'm 'upper class' (titled, parents have a stately home etc)

I eat my bread roll however the fuck I like. I also turn my fork over to eat my peas. And put my elbows on the table.

I'm not remotely interested in what people think of this. Seriously who cares about this stuff? As long as you don't throw things or spit...

TheRebel · 09/03/2018 18:17

It’s a privileged position to be able to say “I know the rules and I don’t think they matter” it’s not the same as someone who doesn’t know there are any rules until they sit down and are surrounded by people who automatically know what to do, and they’re thinking do I ask someone or just sit here and hope no one notices that I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

Willow2017 · 09/03/2018 18:44

I do hope that correction is useful.

Nah not really when you have a hack on the end of your finger and a bloody awkward phone.
I did see the misteak but had better things to do than correct it (and give my throbbing hack a rest)
Silly me I assumed everyone would know what i meant wihout having an attck of the vapours 😀

Willow2017 · 09/03/2018 18:49

But still wondering how the house embued the complexities of high dining in Rose just by her living there.
We had a carriage storage area and stables next to my house but it didnt mean i could give the Duke of Ed a run for his money 😉

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