Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

@LastGirlOnTheLeft Really well said

Only on MN do you have to send a hand written thank you card for everything.

I am amazed that we always receive a thank you card after a child's birthday party, but we do, so in RL people seem to maybe not for holding a door

My husband pinched my bum...should I ltb for sexual assault?

Thanks Cool!!! (I REALLY like your name!!) I remember some time ago reading a post in Relationships from a woman who had escaped a violent relationship. She had posted about it as it was ongoing, and received a lot of support. So later on she comes back to thank all the women who helped her escape, and she told them they had changed her life....without them, she might be dead.

The women on here DO change lives with their support, advice and honesty. They changed mine in many ways - my outlook, my feminism, my self respect...all better because of here.

also the vitriol for people who might have to rehome an animal. I have been in this position and it took a lot of heartache and worry but it couldn't be avoided, I was very responsible. Everyone in my RL understood the reasons and supported it and I know personally 3 families who have had to do the same.
Mumsnet: BURN IN HELL and give up your children before the dog

This thread just shows how vast the site has become - you have so many users from utterly different worlds, different cultures, different social groups, different age brackets - people cannot imagine how the other half live, as it were.

And so you get a thread like this where posters cannot believe the things that other posters say. When, by and large, no-one has a reason to lie and most genuine posters just give truthful, accurate responses to the questions asked.

So if you ask me should you send a thank you note after a party, I will reply "yes, of course" because that's entirely normal to me. Another poster will laugh at this and say "nobody ever sends thank you cards - you're mad" - when really they are just revealing what different worlds they move in. It's easy to believe your world is the correct one that most other people inhabit too.

I come on mn to decode the thoughts that people hide in real life for fear of offending or avoiding unpleasant conversations and to learn from others I will NEVER get a chance to meet in real life who will tell me their perspectives in an unvarnished way. That is why it is refreshing that mn IS different from RL.

If you want an echo chamber, go to Netmums. Stay on mn to get hard hitting advice which has considered every angle and perspective and stress tested the worst case scenario in real life.

I agree with Ninjago. It is a fallacy to think the narrow circles people normally inhabit through no fault of their own is representative of the wider world.

Some of the stuff that gets said on mumsnet, I can't imagine that poster actually saying what they typed as a respond to another person face to face, without GBH charges involved in the end.

In discussions in real life I have never felt the need to tell someone to educate themselves, even when we vehemently disagree. Also I don’t end up in discussion irl with violent, rough messes so am actually fairly likely to avoid ending up ‘on my arse’ as another delightful poster suggested earlier.

@LastGirlOnTheLeft absolutely what you said (and SGB)

I think a few posters are assuming this is a dig at mumsnet it's not. The whole point for me with this thread is some of the advice given I honestly cannot imagine somebody saying it in real life. I was meaning the extreme advice. For example yesterday one poster actually suggested the OP should walk out on her husband and children, stay elsewhere for a few days. It will teach the husband a lesson. Granted other posters told that person they was barking for suggesting it.

areal like you just pointed out you wouldn't tell somebody to educate themselves even if you disagreed. Yet on mumsnet that seems to be a go to line when somebody doesn't share their view point. I honestly can't imagine somebody saying that face to face and it going down well.

That by letting your mum babysit will mean that she won't follow most of your guidelines but instead fill your child of processed crap and give them sugary drinks.

Or that said mum won't be sitting with a plate on her head because DC thinks it's hilarious.

Even worse if you're a MiL

Yes to the emetophobia thing!

A poster will say it as if it's such a serious condition that everyone must respect it and modify their behaviour. No-one likes sick.

My hidden talent is that I can vomit at will. Not a great call for it, I know.

You can't feed your pet any food you can buy in a supermarket, it has to be organic, 100% meat, organic stuff that cost £20 for a pack of 2.

@expatinscotland

Nah, you can meet Mr Fabulous at 42 and go on to have 4 children, no miscarriages, disabilities, problems in pregnancy or birth, in the next 10 years. Plenty of time! And you have far more energy and are fitter than 20-year-olds. You know plenty of women who had twins with their own eggs at 50.

Conversely, if you have a child at 14, you will go on to become a professor at Cambridge, or you know several girls who have, it was fine. Suggesting termination as an option to such a girl is a travesty.

Ba ha ha ha.. Made me LOL all that did!.. 😂😂😂😂

Whilst I don't think it's very nice to make a single woman of 35 feel worse about herself, it is 100% true that your fertility starts to decline very rapidly after 35. And yeah, the chance of a girl having a baby at 14, and then going onto a fancy uni and becoming a professor, is as likely as snow on the sun.

Only on MN do you have to send a hand written thank you card for everything.

I know right. I haven't done this (neither has anyone I know) since Elvis was alive. Must be a class thing eh? Coz I is common and everyfink, I dunna send no fank yoo cards to no-wun!

@demirose87

My husband pinched my bum...should I ltb for sexual assault?

Yes absolutely, and log it with 101, and call a crisis centre.

Jeeeez, the amount of batshit stuff you see on here sometimes, knows no bounds.

@Ninjagoninja

And so you get a thread like this where posters cannot believe the things that other posters say. When, by and large, no-one has a reason to lie and most genuine posters just give truthful, accurate responses to the questions asked.

😂😂😂😂 Good one. Got any more jokes like that?

I have noisy neighbours, there are 20 of them living upstairs, they take it in turns to patrol in army boots 24 hours a day whilst singing the national anthem at the top of their voices, what should I do?

MN response - have you considered moving to a detached property? You have to expect some noise in flats.

We are reading Bills new frock at bedtime, I said to DH good job we didn’t start a week before world book day or ds would be off to school in his cousins dress quite happily.
Imagine if I’d typed that on mumsnet.

it is 100% true that your fertility starts to decline very rapidly after 35

It's actually 100% untrue. Research it. It's a myth. After 40 probably, but 35 - no way. And lots of women find their fertility doesn't decline at all until much later. I fell pregnant with all 3 of mine over 35, first month of trying - this is NOT rare, loads of my friends experienced the same.

It's far more likely that women who struggle to conceive after 35 would have struggled at 25 too for reasons not connected to the declining health of their eggs.

@KungFuPandaWorksOut16

I have told people to educate themselves on here. A couple of times I think. I didn’t enjoy it but I was aghast at the total lack of knowledge and insight on a particular topic in relation to the “holding forth” of a group of posters. It was the wide eyed NAMALT crew as far as I remember.

My point was that I have discussions irl where there is disagreement but a good amount of knowledge of the topic on both sides. Also I don’t know anyone who would resort to violence regardless of what was said to them. Ever.

To actually attack another person, fight in public? (Or private). A criminal record and looking absolutely dreadful because someone says that you need to educate yourself?

Seriously?

it is 100% true that your fertility starts to decline very rapidly after 35

It's actually nowhere near as rapid as people think.

PoorYorick
YES on MN introverts are special and etiquette and social norms do not apply to them
And
Extroverts are selfish attention seekers that nobody likes.

Feeling fat? It's probably a thyroid / coeliac / gluten / mobility / metabolism issue. Go to your GP and DO NOT let them fob you off with telling you to lay off the Greggs and get some exercise. It's bound to be an illness and if they do anything less than a full bloods investigation, MRI scan and 24 hour monitoring write to the GMC and get the bastard sacked.

Also as a side note I'm amazed by what MN thinks the police will do in most instances. If a friend / neighbour / your partner is physically abusing / assaulting / threatening you, without cctv, witnesses and at least broken bones you will probably be referred to get a "non molestation order" which is a civil matter, not a criminal one and requires you to hire a solicitor to apply for it. If the order is broken then and only then will police even look at prosecution. Some MN'ers think that police have time for husbands giving dirty looks, petty theft from light fingers family members and noisy neighbours. They will be EXTREMELY disappointed. I think it's a load of shite and police should take this some of this stuff seriously but in all honesty, they don't.

Another one - a £5 office Secret Santa gift for someone you hardly know should be an object of great, prized beauty that adequately reflects the nuances of your complex personality. It is offensive to buy chocolate or to spend less than a full day contemplating the purchase.

There was even one poster last Christmas who admitted that the only thing her team knew about her was that she took the train to get to the office once a week (she was mostly home-based). Her Secret Santa bought her a case for her train pass, which she admitted to be using, and yet still thought it was a rushed (how did she know?) and thoughtless gift.

Actually there were quite a few posters who seemed to know their SS gifts were 'rushed'. How?