Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

I've also never been in someone's home IRL and found no bin in the bathroom (except my PIL's) but according to MN bathroom bins are beyond disgusting.

Accepting any help with childcare from family especially parents or ILs even in a dire emergency is incredibly selfish on MN. ‘You had children so they are your responsibility’. On MN you must struggle on but in reality many people have family who willingly help out.

Any mention of inheritance or acceptance of financial assistance from parents is ‘grabby’ and ‘entitled’ on MN. If you want something and can’t afford it you do without even if your family beg you to take the money. In reality lots of people have had help from parents for house deposits, school fees etc. even if they don’t openly discuss it. In fact it can make good financial sense to make gifts and many older wealthier people are advised to do so.

wifflepoffle >>> You are exiled to Netmums as your punishment

"In RL no one would say "vulva" instead of "vagina"."

Not in my RL. They would all say fanny - or possibly 'down there' / lady bits if being polite/tactful. I can't think of a single case of anyone non-medical discussing a vagina . . .

Lollypop27

Sadik I said vagina last week. I remember saying it but cannot recall why or the conversation. It did feel shuddery weird saying it out loud!

Also, on MN there is absolutely no point moving to the coast, as anyone who lives by the seaside never, ever goes to the beach.

I live by the coast - the default summer time activity is to go down the beach of an evening, light a fire & have a few beers while the children play. There's times I go down the beach when it feels like the entire population of the town is either sitting round a fire as per (families), getting pissed in the dunes (teenagers) or going for a bracing walk with their dog (retired couples)

If you do accept childcare from grandparents they must follow the 100 page manual you've written them or they'll never see the kids again.

Obviously too long on MN cjt110 . . .

Of course @Blue especially re grapes and water or milk only and no sugar

Your husband watches porn/goes to strip clubs/leers at women- All men do it.

Childfree people shouldn't be on Mumsnet

I didn't know about the grapes thing. Thankfully, my kids survived my ignorance - they're late-ish teens now and the risks are a whole lot different...

And is sleeping with your baby OK or not OK? My midwife and PN care advisors said, yes, it's fine, provided you don't drink, smoke or take sleeping medication. Which was a relief, as mine just would not settle away from me for quite a long time. But I think now the advice is different. Or is it?

Anyway, enjoying this thread!

Has anyone yet mentioned the gold nugget

You sound like hard work

Who’d ever say this to another person in RL? Whether they’re venting or coming to you with a problem, it’s so bloody rude!

Reverse snobbery with engagement rings - yes, let’s make the excited woman feel like shite because the couple have decided to spend more than £10 on an engagement ring. What kind of a wanker says anything negative about another person’s engagement ring?

Only on MN could someone post a baby name dilemma over an absurd, ugly, and/or weird name and receive a positive response with someone inevitably chiming in that they're considering the same name.

Fictitious Example:

OP: Help!?! I want to name my DD Petunialoaf Knife (pronounced nèef) but my DH is firmly against it, what should I do?

1st Response: My exDH was deadset against the name Doorknob Chaise for our DS, I just filled out the birth certificate while he was out of the room and he's grown to love the name over time.

2nd Response: Oh I'm having the same problem with the same name except I want to spell it Putunyalowff but my DH just won't budge!

3rd Response: OP and 2nd poster both need to LTB. Your vagina your baby.

4th Response: I think you meant to say "your vulva your baby."

If your life hasn't turned out perfect or you don't get on with your siblings...

It's your parents' fault, especially your mother's. You had an abusive upbringing/toxic family dynamic. You are not responsible for what is happening to you now. You must write a letter to your mother detailing her every failing as a mother and human being and if she doesn't respond by begging for forgiveness, cut all contact.

The possibility that actually they probably did the best they could with the knowledge they had, the support that was available and within the social expectations of the time is no excuse.

"You give your kids squash? Do you want them to be obese with no teeth?"

There are absolutely no universities in the UK apart from RG unis and unless you got to one of these you will be forever doomed and never get a decent job!

The reason it seems like so many people on here have children with SN is because those people have more reason to post on a regular basis.

I have put up so many threads about my DS who has autism from the time we suspected something was up, to when he was being diagnosed and during all the problems he's had at school and making friends. I have another son who doesn't have SN and in all the years I have been posting, I haven't put up one single thread about him as there is nothing to say as he has no issues.

Also, I am one of those people who suggests at times that a child might have SN based on how their behavior is described. I don't think all children with behavioural issues hsve SN but some do. I would prefer to live in a world where when people see a child acting up that they don't just say the child is a brat but stop and consider that SN is a possibility.

Would love to see how long it takes for this thread to get zapped...

That any poster who is challenged on their behaviour by a friend/family member/spouse/partner is being gas-lighted.

Unlikely there's that level of manipulation going on in most relationships.

That if anyone is offended by a thread the OP who's clearly a troll ofc should apologise and the thread be taken down. 😅

@thecrabbypatty

Kid being a little shit? Suggest that they have SEN and arrange a meeting with the school head and pastoral team to find out what's being done about their behaviour. Do not leave until something is found that absolves you of any responsibility.

THIS ^ There was a woman on a documentary the other month who was desperate to get an ADHD diagnosis for her very badly behaved boy. When all it was was she was soft as a brush and totally incapable of parenting properly. (No boundaries, no rules etc.) She literally punched the air with joy when some do-gooder 'expert' said he had ADHD. As you said, it absolved her of any responsibility.

Yes of COURSE some children have genuine special needs, but I am sick of every child who is just badly behaved, being given this label. As the above poster said, it's just bad parenting sometimes.

@milktwosugarsthanks

Any suggestion of people taking a little bit of personal responsibility for their lives or using a little bit of common sense is shot down for "victim blaming".

OMG this ^ You cannot say ANYthing to someone who you feel should take a bit of responsibility for themselves, without having this fucking chestnut thrown at you!

@blueyacht

That it's absolutely absurd for a woman to take her husband's name on marriage. I don't know anyone in real life who hasn't changed her name.

Also does my head in. Although I know 2 people who have not changed their surname, 99% of women I have ever known DO change their surname. But on MN, if you DO take your husband's surname, that means you are bowing to the patriarchy, and becoming a slave of the menz. And if you shave your minge off, (because you like the way it looks and feels,) you are 'bowing to societal expectations' and MUST be doing it for your man, and 'he must like little girls,' coz they are the only ones who has da bald minges...

@mybrilliantdisguise

A woman who is upset that her husband hasn't so much as given her a birthday card, never mind a gift, and hasn't wished her a happy birthday even though she flew him to Vegas for his last birthday, is told to grow up, cards aren't important and that I (the poster replying) haven't had a card in my life from anyone and you are just spoilt expecting something from someone who's supposed to love you and need to grow up.

This too. ^ I am amazed at the amount of posters who claim to never send or receive cards for birthday and Christmas, and no-one they know ever sends them.

I reckon the 'I don't send cards' and 'I would never take a man's surname' brigade are all 19 years old and still living with mommy.

@pengggwn

Can't you just dip into savings' is the most disingenuously offensive shite.

Drives me batty too that does!

@Emily7708

Anyone who complains that their DH is cold or undemonstrative, or is just a generally nasty git.

Answer: 'Have you considered he may have aspergers?
OR
Have you considered he may be depressed?

Hate this too!

Also hate people calling someone with Aspergers 'aspies...' shudder

One other thing really grinds my gears.... When someone who has the temerity to defend herself, and gets a bit annoyed about something.

You sound angry. Why are you angry? You are irrationally angry aren't you?' 'Why are you so angry?'

Patronising cunts!

Another cuntish thing that fucks me off is people slagging off all uni degrees that aren't academic, and calling them 'worthless,' or 'mickey mouse degrees.'

Fucking cunts.

This thread is ace by the way!

I have found my people. I feel like I am walking on eggshells here sometimes, and this thread is a free for all, and proves many, many people feel the same as me. Ahhhhh. wonderful!

I REALLY hope this thread isn't zapped.