Are you expecting OH to do something for you on Mother's Day

[TheRealCinderella]

So it will be my first Mother's Day as a Mum on Sunday, I've told OH that I'm expecting a card flowers and a cuppa in bed while he gets up with LO, he says I'm not his mother why would he get me a gift! I do 99% of the childcare alone as he works away and I think I've made it clear to him that it's important to me and I'm hoping he will do something.....is this unreasonable? Does your OH do anything for you?

Mine has bought me a picture that I saw in a gallery 5 years ago and have hankered after ever since. He tracked it down online and there was still one of the limited editions available, so he bought it for me.

Most years I get flowers or something nice; this year is a bit exceptional as it'll be a week or two before DC2 arrives, all being well.

If your kids are too young to do it themselves, of course their dad should do it, if he knows it means something to you (fair enough if you genuinely believe it's hallmark bollocks and he knows that!). Your DP is being a dick, I think.

I get my dd- a single mum to a 1.5 dd - (her ex was cheating on her when she was 5mths pregnant) a card & pressie.

Men don’t usually think .... The muppets

Yes, I know he will as the kids are 9 and 6 and he’s not missed one yet.

Lie in, breakfast/brunch in bed, cards and maybe flowers from the boys. It’s nice.

My OH will not do a damn thing. However, adult DSD said to me last week that she didn't know what to get me, and wondered if I might like it if she took DS(5) out for the day.

Glorious, wonderful DSD. A day off... reverent silence

It's about making mums feel special and appreciated however old the kids are, babies or adults. I did/do exactly the same for my dh on fathers day. Ain't nothing wrong with doing nice stuff for people.

We don't buy into this commercialised shit, designed and promoted to make money for businesses. We just appreciate each others' efforts as parents every day and make sure that that appreciation is recognised - like people in normal relationships tend to.

Our relationship is perfectly normal. I still get flowers on mothers day. What's wrong with businesses making money? We'd all be pretty stuffed if they didn't.

Clearly not InDubiousBattle only abnormal people get cards

The kids are 6 and 9 so I'd imagine they will make their own at school but as MIL would probably cry for a month if DH doesn't get her anything he will probably buy me one too. And he'd probably buy me some supermarket chocs. The kids school also have a Mother's Day sale (they do a Father's Day one too) so I'll get something. I may get breakfast in bed, depending on when DC1s football match is. Going out for dinner with my DM in the evening.

DH is going out all morning with some of the DC, then taking them to an activity that he and they (but not me) enjoy most of the afternoon. He'd forgotten it was mothers day, but in fairness so had I.

I get enough appreciation and love the rest of the year anyway and I can't help thinking that if I instructed him what he needed to do to make me feel loved and appreciated, it might just lose its meaning anyway...

Plus, I'm not his mother

My first one too! And if he doesn't I will be royally pissed off... doesn't take much to get a card and a bit of something to say thank you

DH will be taking the kids out for the day and has arranged a babysitter for the evening so he can take me out for dinner. He spoils me rotten!

Yep. He does anyway.

He has already done my Mother's Day presents.

He's bought me some large photos of my two children when they were babies. I absoutely love them. He's given them to me early so I can find some frames to put them up with.

He will probably still get me a little something for the day with a card

Fluffyhippo- no Christmas presents in your house then

We don't usually do any of the "days", but I've had a particularly crap time lately so my husband and two year old are baking something and taking me for a picnic (weather permitting).

I made him a massive picnic and arranged a surprise trip to a special spot for him for Father’s Day and my previous 4 Mother’s Days since my DD was born have been dealing with my or his mother’s special ‘issues’. This year I want it to be about me for a change.

OP I really hope your husband sorts his sorry arse out and treats you on Mother's Day. Yes you're not his mother but neither is he your father but you got him a gift. Especially as it's your first MD.

I don't even think DH knows it's MD on Sunday to be honest.

DH takes DD1 (aged 4) to choose me a gift and usually gets me something small from him too, to say thanks for all the effort I put into raising our kids. I do the same for him on fathers' day.
We're not big on gifts otherwise though, and just do a token gift for each others birthdays/christmas.

How are children expected to do these things if no one shows them how? In December I took our toddler to choose a gift for her dad, and wrapped it with her at home. I’ll do the same for father’s day and for her baby brother’s birthday. Of course DP should do the same for me.

YANBU he should definitely be spoiling you and making you feel special, especially since this is your first Mother's Day. My dh takes me for lunch and buys me a card and presents (usually spa vouchers). You may not be his mother but you are the mother of his child and as your child is too young to do anything for you then he should step in and show you the appreciation you deserve. I hope he steps up and surprises you on the day.

Logically, no. He needs to get something for his mum, I need to get something for mine. I probably won't see mine, but will call and send a card.
All I want from my child is a hug (tricky ATM, she's preteen 😕) and a cuppa.

I don't really get Mother's Day. I don't buy my mum anything. I don't get anything from DH.

My kids are both in school now and are quite excited to give me the cards they made at school so I will pretend to be excited for them but it's just another day.

I honestly don't get everyone expects their DPs to get cards and flowers for them

But how do children learn anything if we don’t show them? They’re not going to suddenly think it’s important to mark the day when they’re old enough unless we show them it is. So until they’re old enough to do it all themselves, the parents facilitate. If a man wants to get his own mother a gift but doesn’t think he ought to help his children celebrate their mother I think he’s a twat to be honest.

Perhaps he’s playing it down with the intention to make it the best day!

I do not sometimes wonder if the bulk of mm posters belong to some of strange religion where no one has any fun at all. For Easter no child must be given more than one carefully chosen small budget egg, along side a frivolous cherry amount of four tiny mini eggs...

For Christmas one gift carefully sourced worth no more than ten pounds, with an orange and nuts in a stocking with a fun gregarious exciting party popper because it is Christmas.

For mothers day no mother should expect more than a totally child led scrumpled up card from school, if the school doesn't organise anything for you... Tough. You deserve nothing.

For valentines, nothing.
Infact the only time mn special religion allows more fun is at funerals. You can have some music played and some food) your dead) your guests can have a fine old fine then though.