Are you expecting OH to do something for you on Mother's Day

[TheRealCinderella]

So it will be my first Mother's Day as a Mum on Sunday, I've told OH that I'm expecting a card flowers and a cuppa in bed while he gets up with LO, he says I'm not his mother why would he get me a gift! I do 99% of the childcare alone as he works away and I think I've made it clear to him that it's important to me and I'm hoping he will do something.....is this unreasonable? Does your OH do anything for you?

Dh will get cards and gifts from ds to give to me in morning then spend day with his mum while I take ds and spend day with my mum, nan and sisters. It's about acknowledging those who bought you up and saying thank you.

Nothing. But I don’t do anything for Father’s Day. I’m not his mother and I really couldn’t care for him getting me something and pretending it’s from the toddler.. what is even the point?

Torn on this, yes it's nice to get a token on the day but if told I had to by a partner I wouldn't be buying anything.

It's a commercial day in reality and very wasteful resource wise judging by the tacky gifts on said.

I appreciate my DH as do the children and vice versa and don't need a card to confirm that on the day shops say to buy it.

Those that expect it have more problems than just a lack of card.

DH used to help the DC make a card when they were toddlers. (Draw round their hands or some such.). But I do remember being distinctly disappointed after my first MD when there wasn't even a card.

He pulled the 'but you're not my mum' thing... He's never dared since!

I ask the DC to pick me flowers now they are old enough to not pull the daffs up by the bulb .

Mine gets me a card and a little present - something under a tenner. Although he did take me out for a pub dinner one year! I do the same for him on Father's Day - it's the thought that counts, and the recognition of our roles as parents (our DS is only a toddler so too little to sort something out himself).

Absolutely. I expect him to support the kids in making cards and to have the kids while I have a lie in. I do the same for him for father's day.

I think it is totally reasonable to want my dp to appreciate my role as a mother within the family.

I’m expecting DP to get me a card and token present from the baby and we’re going for lunch out. I’m also hoping for a peaceful cup of tea in bed in the morning.
I did the same for him on Father’s Day.

Nowthelightgets - 'what's the point?' - it makes the recipients feel happy and appreciated. Isn't that enough?

Yes, as well as presents from the kids I get s card and present from him saying what a great mum I am to his children. He's not mega romantic in other ways but makes up for it with kind words and nice gifts at times like this.

I think if this is how he is generally you need to adjust your expectations.

My partner loves days like this and as my first Mother’s Day he told me he’s so excited, I said a card will do, he said no I want to get you something. Will be something little, but he often picks up little bits for me, the other day he bought me a cactus for our bathroom so I expect I’ll get something but I’m not too bothered really. I’d just like some peace and quiet

It's a day to celebrate mother's. Doesnt have to be your own mother. I buy a little something for my mum and my MIL to show my appreciation for their loving role in our family.
DH makes a little fuss of me on behalf of my DS to thank me and recognise me for being a good mother.

Mine will help DS (his stepson) make me breakfast in bed, and then he’ll sornd the day with his mum. DS and I will go out for the day. Before I met DH, my parents would have organised a present for DSto give yo me (his father isn’t around).

Some years we take my DM and MIL out together for lunch, it just depends. It’s only one day though, and it doesn’t cause any angst here.

Lethaldrizzle I get that for when you have children old enough to put effort in and make something themselves. When they are too young I don’t get it. My DP could pretend to write a card from my almost two year old saying I’m the best mum ever, but it wouldn’t make me feel good because the toddler would be oblivious and it wouldn’t be real sentiment.
Or I guess I could just say I want a present from my partner? In which case fine, it’s nice to get presents. Let’s not pretend it has anything to do with mother’s day though.

howthelightgetsin I agree. If mother's day is the only time your partner shows any appreciation for your effort as a mum, then there's something wrong with your relationship.
Getting home-made cards from the kids means something, getting something on their behalf is just an excuse for a present - fine if that's what you want, but why should the date be dictated by a marketing campaign?

Nowthelightgets - 'what's the point?' - it makes the recipients feel happy and appreciated. Isn't that enough?

Do you feel happy and appreciated when you know they only do it because you told them to or they know you'll kick off if they don't?

Mothering Sunday is a religious festival, on the 4th Sunday in Lent. I hope all those whinging about cards etc will also be going to church?

It's not any more. Mothering Sunday and Mothers Day are not at all the same thing, if you don't know that you're hardly in a position to lecture others!

DS is a toddler so DH took him to get a card and I am told DS chose it himself :) He has also booked lunch for us at a restaurant and he will change all the nappies that day. We aren't doing gifts but I would be upset if he didn't acknowledge it as DS is too young to do so himself. I will make a similar effort for father's Day. When DS is old enough I imagine DH will give him a budget and DS will plan it himself.

Maybe you should have told him that you'd feel appreciated if you received a card etc. rather than saying that you 'expected' it? Different approaches = different results.

My 2nd mother's day this year - DH has announced we are going for lunch...at MIL's. Not happy.

We usually get threads where people post complaining their dh is spending some time with his own mother on mother's day.
I do think a man should make a fuss of the mother of his children at least with breakfast in bed or flowers.

I saw something I wanted and sent him a link, saying: "hint for Mother's Day". Then I followed up with a flat out request. So I'm getting a merci maman necklace but only because I asked for it

It’s my first mother’s day and I would be heartbroken if I didn’t get a card (I know I have one as it’s from moonpig so arrived really early). DH is a bit clueless at cards and gifts but I always make a fuss out of his days and expect the same.

He isn't getting you a gift, he's getting a gift on behalf of your baby. He can't get a gift on behalf of the baby unless the baby has signified his/her wish that a gift be got. It's got about as much logic as receiving a Christmas card from the cat.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do these things if that's what makes you and your family happy.