Are you expecting OH to do something for you on Mother's Day

[TheRealCinderella]

So it will be my first Mother's Day as a Mum on Sunday, I've told OH that I'm expecting a card flowers and a cuppa in bed while he gets up with LO, he says I'm not his mother why would he get me a gift! I do 99% of the childcare alone as he works away and I think I've made it clear to him that it's important to me and I'm hoping he will do something.....is this unreasonable? Does your OH do anything for you?

He tends to make cards with the kids and maybe get me a little treat like a candle or some prosecco. This year he is actually taking the kids to his mums for a few days to give me time to rest (I have CFS) so I'll be getting a lie in and an empty quiet house for 2 days which is heaven!

Mothering Sunday is a religious festival, on the 4th Sunday in Lent. I hope all those whinging about cards etc will also be going to church?

Why, ifailed? Are you a recently arrived time traveller with no understanding of the prevailing British cultural norms in the 21st century?

I will probably be going to church, incidentally. To my mother church, no less! None of this wishy washy any church, it'll be properly old school home parish. Nonetheless, yours is the argument of a bellend.

In answer to the OP, my children are young so will need DHs help to participate in the festival. We don't make a huge deal of it but the children enjoy giving us something small, so we choose chocolate or whatever with them, to give to the other parent. In the same way as they'll need a bit of help from us to do something for their grandmothers. One of them lives far away so DC will need taking to a postbox etc.

YANBU. I expect my DH to help our children make cards, choose presents and flowers, make me breakfast in bed and book somewhere for lunch. Apparently my 3 year old has chosen something brilliantly weird for me this year (my money is on an adult sized bunny onesie!), but she is determined that I will love it!
I do the same for him on Father’s Day.

when the kids were younger he'd buy presents from them, they're all teenagers now so will get them themselves, he usually gives me a card or flowers though anyway

He's not your mother, why would he? I think it's really weird that couples give each other things for Mother's/Father's Day, tbh. If you don't already know that he appreciates you, you've got bigger problems than a card on Sunday.

Dh normally does a card and a little something from the kids and that's fine by me. This year he'll be visiting his Mum who's in a dementia unit in a pretty bad way. I think it's really important that he sees her on Mother's Day.

Yes! I do expect to get something and while my DS is too young to sort it himself it is my DHs responsibility.I would be furious if he didn't make an effort. I get a small gift, a card and flowers. He also takes me and his mum out for lunch and i get time to myself if I want it - last year I sat in a cafe with a book for a couple of hours and it was bliss!
I make the same effort on Fathers Day - it's important to let each other know that you value them and their contribution. You are also teaching your child to appreciate you.

My step-father who has no children of his own would take my sister and me out shopping to get my Mom something for Mother's day every year.

So I Really don't understand the biological father of a child not wanting to show appreciation to the mother of his child/children.

I don't expect anything myself but only because I'm still pregnant and I've requested that we celebrate American Mother's day (in May) since that's what I grew up with. Our daughter will have been born at that point and I'm hoping for something sentimental.

My DH is always a great one for 'occasions' much more than me - he has always done something special for Mother's Day (for me) since our DS was born - he's now a teenager so I hope he at least buys his own card - DH has booked us lunch out (at his Golf Club ).

Yes, nothing too full on, but I know he's got me a present (because he was very smug when I went 'oh shit, it's Mother's Day on Sunday, we need to sort bits for both our mums' in a 'I've already got yours from the kids) and the DC will decorate cupcakes or biscuits or somehow make a complete mess of my kitchen something before he makes a big roast with all the trimmings for the day.

I think it's really weird that couples give each other things for Mother's/Father's Day, tbh.

Jeez, lighten up, they're the mother/father of your children it's just a little token of appreciation like a valentines card or a birthday card, you're making it sound like something sinister

A card will have to do. I'd rather they get something nice for my bday. Mothers day is a bit commercial isn't it. Bday is my day

IMO dads should sort something out on behalf of little ones until they're old enough to do something themselves. Vice versa for father's day. I wouldn't expect DP to get me a gift from himself though.

DH has never done anything for me for mothers day and I wouldn't expect him to to be honest. I'm not his mother!

I don't want or expect anything from DCs either although DD (away at university) will probably send me a text.

DS will hug me and tell me he loves me just the same as he does most days and probably won't even realise it's mothers day.

Mother’s Day is where people thanks their mothers, and the guy who didn’t suffer through pregnancy, not sleep afterwards for 8 months or stress about keeping your baby alive or do the million fairly mindless tasks of parenting a tiny baby thanks you for being such a good mother. My dh did nothing for my first mother’s day and I was so upset. We had umpteen conversations about respect and he pulled out the stops for the next one so is quite forgiven. This one I’m quite pregnant again so we have brunch locally booked, and I chose present to combine with my birthday present. He has to remember and make a nice thoughtful gesture which involves thinking before the day itself, these are the rules. Which I was very clear on after my first mother’s day!

I think it's really weird that couples give each other things for Mother's/Father's Day, tbh.

Not as weird as when couples call each other 'Mother' and 'Father'.

On this subject, is alcohol an appropriate Mother's Day gift coming from small children? I'm eyeing up a fancy bottle of a favourite something to give to DW 'from DCs' but I have a niggle in the back of my head that it might be strange/inappropriate, or there'll be a conversation like:

DC1: "What's this? Is it nice juice?"

Me: "Well, you know how on Saturday night mummy and daddy like to get nicely tanked after 9pm..."

My 2nd mother's day this year - DH has announced we are going for lunch...at MIL's. Not happy.

You're not happy that your DH wants to see his MOTHER on Mother's Day?

My husband always did this until our daughter was old enough to do it herself. I can't say I asked him to or expected it, but he just did, I did it back and still remind my daughter it's Father's Day or birthday, she remembers Mother's Day and my birthday but forgets his!

However he's the sort of bloke who got me cards from the dog before we had our daughter, so I guess it was to be expected,,,🤣

Sorry, I should say I wouldn't make him to do it though, or ask, because it's the thought that counts and when you make someone do it, well there is no thought and it's pointless. It's just a game of pretend.

For many years I found Mothers Day quite difficult. My mum died when I was a teenager and loved Mothers days, she adored flowers so I always got her some (or my dad did when I was little). When I had ds my dp bought me a lovely gift, some flowers and got me a nice card. Because he's nice and he knows it's important to me.

I don't know want any presents, I'm not materialistic and I'm on a diet so although I adore chocolate it wouldn't actually be very helpful right now.

What I would like is a home made card from the kids. I asked for this last year and didn't get one. This year I suspect I won't get one either, so DD and I made me one at toddler group this morning.

He normally helps the children organise something but sadly he's going to be at a work event 350 miles away all weekend so think I'll be making my own tea unless DD (12) decides to take charge which she might :)

Last year though it was breakfast in bed,chocolates and a bunch of flowers so can't complain.

I'm not expecting anything as I'm separated and my ex wasn't exactly enthused about this sort of thing when we were together and is even worse now! My boys are 11 and 9 so old enough to do something by themselves but it's his week with them (we do 50/50) and I don't think he'll remind them to get organised. It's fine though - I know they love me.

On the other hand, my boyfriend has offered to take us all out for the day on Sunday to somewhere that I've been wanting to go for AGES so maybe I'll take him up on that. If my ex lets us have the boys for the day, which is by no means guaranteed!

Yes, he'll get a card sorted and normally he goes with them to the garden centre and they'll choose a plant to put in the garden.
I also talked to him before the first mother's day after giving birth, saying that it was important to me and that it didn't need to be a big deal - but having a card would be perfect.
I don't think I'd be married to anyone who refused point blank to do something that was important to me that he wasn't fussed about.

Dh is unpredictable but I really hope he does manage something 'from the kids' this year. As I was recently sliced open giving birth to dc2, I might get a bit emotional if there is no acknowledgement!!