Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Friend on benefits and holidays

204 replies

Happybunny1994 · 04/03/2018 19:47

Not really a friend but someone I know is on benefits. She got one child with her partner and works part time. On a recent night out she mentioned holidays said that she was planning on going to Mexico this year and maybe spain. she then was moaning that her benefits have been cut and will struggle to pay her rent. She’s been on holiday 3 times last year all paid for buy herself to far flung expensive places. I was slightly drunk and mentioned that if she was able to go on holiday and pay her rent previously maybe she could not go on holiday and use that money to pay her rent. She got all defensive saying that she dosnt use the benefits to pay for her holidays. That she uses her wages to pay for them and did I think she shouldn’t be entitled to holidays. She also buys a lot of nice clothes all the time expensive nights out. I know I shouldn’t of said anything but I spent years not being able to afford a holiday while on minimum wage so maybe a little resentful

OP posts:

Viviennemary · 04/03/2018 21:40

It's never wise to call out somebody for their lifestyles while they are on benefits as they will always be defensive. And they can sometimes not resist boasting about their holidays and nice clothes. While the benefit system is shrouded in mystery there will be people on benefits who find life hard and others who seem to live quite lavishly. I think we should be moving towards a fixed rate without extras for this that and the other.

DextroDependant · 04/03/2018 21:41

I always wonder why people say things like my DP and I both work 60+ hours per week and earn well but can't afford holidays. When surely they realise it's because they have chosen an expense house or live in an expensive part of the country or have a lot of debt or nice cars or private school fees which the people on benefits won't be paying for.
So it's not that they can't afford a holiday, more that they have chosen to prioritise their cash in other areas which is absolutely their choice but seems disingenuous to say they can't afford a holiday.

MerryShitmas · 04/03/2018 21:41

If benefits are such a great lifestyle choice why don't you jack in your job and go and claim then allthegoodnamesaregone ?
I mean, shit, you'd likely only get £50-£70 a week, plus your rent paid, which goes straight to the LL obviously. That £50-£70 then will have to cover your electricity, food, water, gas plus any other bills. And bedroom tax, if you have the misfortune to have a spare room. Travel to interviews may be reimbursed if you can provide a receipt. Fab if you've got the £10 or whatever upfront for a train journey. Not so fab if you haven't. But then you get sanctioned for not attending. Great.
Seems like you'd really be jetting off to Mexico quickly.
Not.

Springiscoming123 · 04/03/2018 21:42

I have a friend who lives in a house larger than her needs, with her partner and DCs, and claims tax credits as she is self employed and doesn't earn much

well if as you say her DP also works and lives with her surely they are committing fraud with him working unless there wages are really really low for two working

does he rent his flat out or lives there sporodically so she is the only adult down as living in the house

Lovemusic33 · 04/03/2018 21:43

Elton I get disability for 2 of my children, I get tax credits and a small amount of housing benefit, I’m a single working mum but all I can afford is a week in Cornwall each year. Several holidays to places like Mexico would be way out of my league. She has to be getting it on credit. I don’t know anyone on beniffits that could afford to go to Mexico, most struggle to make ends meet, a lot have never been on holiday despite caring for a disabled partner or child ( they blood deserve a holiday).

Eltonjohnssyrup · 04/03/2018 21:44

It’s just astounding MrsDV. I’m not left wing and had reservations about the benefit system under Labour. But even I worry about the benefits cap and freeze at a time when the cost of living is going up so much.

You’re right. You honestly have to be wilfully misinformed if you haven’t noticed how much the benefits system has changed between 2010 and now. It’s frustrating too. Because the people who moan about this stuff have got exactly what they want. Benefits are extremely low and only facilitate a life of penury. But they’re still not happy. I don’t think they would be happy with anything less than workhouses.

anneoneill · 04/03/2018 21:46

I don’t think they would be happy with anything less than workhouses.

Workhouses? I had to apply for my job! Interview for it! And those bloody sponges just walked in and demanded a job from the government! My employer doesn't house me, why should theirs???

PortiaCastis · 04/03/2018 21:47

The propaganda has certainly worked

CraftyGin · 04/03/2018 21:48

Gosh, all we can afford this year is a week in my DD’s student flat.

DownstairsMixUp · 04/03/2018 21:50

Fuck off

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/03/2018 21:50

I work with families elton. I have done for decades.
I have never known it this bad
Its the brutality of the system that is so awful
Its Victorian.
To be poor, to be on benefits, is to be mistrusted and despised.
Regardless of character, circumstances, past contributions or future plans.

There is a wish to punish people for not being able to earn enough.
Whilst earning enough seems to get further out of reach.

And its those with more than enough who seem to despise those without enough the most.

ghostyslovesheets · 04/03/2018 21:51

yes and workhouses are too soft - three meals a day and a bed - what a fucking liberty - send them to the colonies

ghostyslovesheets · 04/03/2018 21:52

you are not wrong Mrs DV - it's awful at the moment

OnlyAbigail · 04/03/2018 21:53

She must have some sort of undeclared side hustle going on to be able to afford so many holidays, surely?

SmashedMug · 04/03/2018 21:55

While the benefit system is shrouded in mystery there will be people on benefits who find life hard and others who seem to live quite lavishly. I think we should be moving towards a fixed rate without extras for this that and the other.

Hahahaha this did amuse me. Shrouded in mystery! Anyone can calculate benefit figures and work out how much someone in one scenario would receive and how much someone in another scenario would receive. There is no mystery whatsoever. There's privacy in that people do not have to tell you what they qualify to receive but no mysterious hush hush conspiracy.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 04/03/2018 21:58

lovemusic, she might be able to get it on credit for a year. But if her income was low enough to get benefits she would be struggling to even get credit to fund that much expense. And even if she managed to do it one year, the following year she would be far too overstretched to get more credit and do it again and probably struggling to meet repayments anyway. I’m much more inclined to think she doesn’t exist.

If she does exist she’s probably some weird anomaly with parents wealthy enough to give her gifts or she works as a hooker or something. She’s certainly not representative of benefits claimants in general.

gluteustothemaximus · 04/03/2018 21:59

Regardless of character, circumstances, past contributions or future plans.

There is a wish to punish people for not being able to earn enough.

Whilst earning enough seems to get further out of reach.

And its those with more than enough who seem to despise those without enough the most.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Rosamund1 · 04/03/2018 21:59

Housing benefit is now is no longer paid to LL. She could be behind in rent to cover the jollies.

I know of someone who every 7 years or so goes bankrupt/Iva. There are few consequences for financial cheekyfuckery if you don’t care about ever getting a mortgage or entering certain professions.

Lovemusic33 · 04/03/2018 22:04

Elton not hard to get credit at all if she’s working. I work part time, I get beniffits, I also have credit card with a £6000 limit, it wasn’t hard to get at all. I rarely use it, I got it to improve my credit rating and for emergencies, I could easily book a holiday to Mexico with it. Only I’m sensible and I know I couldn’t pay it off in a year so would get into difficulty, some people don’t care though do they?

HateIsNotGood · 04/03/2018 22:06

ah - so it's a friend but not really a friend and through a drunken conversation you now know everything about her finances. Now we know all the facts - bloody good for her, I'm sure you would like a holiday in Mexixo or wherever too OP.

Maybe you could really acquaint yourself with all the facts about this undeserving slattern's life and take a tip or two, so maybe you can afford a holiday too. Or maybe, once you know everything, you might be pleased that your own life isn't hers and prefer that.

PutUpWithRain · 04/03/2018 22:07

I'm going to lob a grenade into this by cheerfully admitting I'm a single parent on benefits who has a holiday abroad every August for between 2-3 weeks.

How? Because my parents live abroad, they pay for our flights, we stay with them, and it actually works out cheaper for me to pay for the food shopping for 5 people there than if we stayed at home and I had to feed the three of us here, not to mention saving on water, electricity, etc.

So, bizarrely, going on a fairly long holiday actually saves me money. If my parents didn't email me to say 'Here's your flight booking' we wouldn't have a holiday. Because benefits do not fund that type of lifestyle. I know I'm very lucky to have parents that will do that for us. I would never take out any kind of credit with the income that I have, because the thought of being sanctioned is already terrifying, without having debt to pay off.

But from the outside, people will say 'how can a single mother on benefits, in a council house, afford THAT kind of holiday?'

Springiscoming123 · 04/03/2018 22:08

agree,single parent x 3 i dont work and havent for years got a cc with limit of £10k

use sometimes but paid of monthly,did apply years ago

MotherofaSurvivor · 04/03/2018 22:09

Well I'm disabled so I HAVE to clam Benefits and I still manage a couple of caravan trips per year. Paid off over the year. I also go without certain things in order to do so

Thebluedog · 04/03/2018 22:13

Sounds like she simply isn’t managing her money well. If she can’t afford her rent, then she shouldn’t be booking holidays. This applies regardless of wether she’s on benefits or not.

But it does make me wonder how she affords several holidays a year if she’s claiming benefits. My friend works, but because she’s on a low wage, she’s able to claim certain benefits. Although she can survive and have a little money for treats at the end of the month. There’s absolutely no way she could afford one foreign holiday a year, let alone several, and this also includes a fairly large amount of child maintenance she gets from her exh.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 04/03/2018 22:13

There is a wish to punish people for not being able to earn enough

Some see it as punishment, others see it as making people take responsibility.

We all make choices, lots just make ones they can't afford and expect others to pick up the costs.

I'd imagine the holiday abroad is not rare at all on benefits, a lot of people play the system to net the maximum benefit payout for the least effort,

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9