Niece(15) is saying my DS is Trans!?

[upsideup]

My 15 year old niece added me on facebook this morning, she doesnt live in the UK and is comming to stay with us in a few weeks and as I havent seen her for almost a year I had a quick look down her facebook page just to see what she looked like now and what she was up to and about 2 weeks ago she posted a short video on trans children which I havnt actually watched because I was too annoyed by the comment she had posted with is basically saying:
'Aww my cousin is transgender (MTF) and she is the most beautiful, loved and accepted little girl, she's lucky that she has such a good family around her but not all children are so lucky, so many transgender children are ignored and not listened to and so are not able to be who they truly are.... I will fight anyone who tries to suggest that my cousin is anything less than a girl. It was much longer than that but thats the general message and the most relevant things. There's almost 20 comments from her friends saying how lucky she (my son) is to have an amazing accepting cousin like her and how great it is that she(my son) is able to be herself (himself).

Now we have had the 'is he trans?' 'are you sure he isnt trans?' comments from family members before but have always just said no, hes fine, we have dealt with it, he just likes pink, he just wants long hair etc and thought that had been accepted and dropped. Hes not transgender, hes a 4 year boy that has blond shoulder length hair who likes wearing anything sparkly or glittery and playing makeup/dolls/dressing up with his big sisters. We have also added an 'y' to the end of his name because he wanted to but this doesnt even make it a 'girls' name it just makes it a cuter nickname for his boys name and he was the only one out of his siblings whose name didnt end it 'y' anyway but shes used this to imply we are letting him live as a girl.

I am furious that she thinks she can talk about my son publicly online like this without my permission and that what she is saying is all lies, I dont know whether its just cool to have a transgender family member and it just gives you attention and makes you popular around your friends or what.

WIBU to comment on the post saying actually he is a boy and I dont know why you would need to lie about him? Or am I going to have to be an adult and either ignore this or try and deal with it privately throught her parents? Either way If she comes and stays I am not having her call my son things that he doesnt actually want to be called.

TBF it does sound like your daughter is trans, now thankfully you have 5-6 year before you need to worry about HRT but just let he be herself for now have her long hair wear pink and stuff and all is good

HE'S A FOUR YEAR OLD BOY, FFS!!! God almighty.
He likes pink, has long hair, SO WHAT? It doesn't mean he's automatically a girl!
I hated pink, dresses, dolls and climbed trees, got muddy, did "boy" sports when I was a child - does that mean I secretly wanted to be a boy?
No, I'm most definitely all woman and love pink now.
Honestly, if the 15 year old does indeed have family members coming out with bollocks like this to her, there's no wonder she comes out with the stuff she does.
Sorry for the swearing, but all this shit gets me so cross!

RedMambo you are a child abuser.

" Puberty blockers just block puberty till they are a bit older if at 16 they are still female they take female hormones, if they are wrong they take male hormones and everything is good. "

are you mad? how could that possibly be 'good'?
I assume you have had no medical training , therefore you are spouting ill informed and dangerous bollocks.

If you’d asked me at age 6 or 7 which gender I wanted to be I would have opted to for Male. This was because I saw boŷs had greater freedom, and men more lifestyle choice and I didn’t want to stay at home cooking and doing housework. Took me a while to get over this, to find young women of like mind and join the feminist movement.
If I’d been permitted to wear long pant and play more adventurously and had seen positive female role models I wouldn’t have been the slightest interested in being a boy.
OP good luck, you’re doing a great job

It's up to each individual but maybe cut his hair and don't let him wear pink glittery clothes, DS is 4 he needs guidance from parents still that boys wear this girls wear that.

But they don't. That attitude is part of the problem, and leads directly to the notion that boys who like pink glittery clothes must be trans!

If we stopped stereotyping clothes, colours and hairstyles according to gender, 4-year old boys who like pink wouldn't be regarded as being trans and OP wouldn't be having to deal with this crap.

TBF it does sound like your daughter is trans, now thankfully you have 5-6 year before you need to worry about HRT but just let he be herself for now have her long hair wear pink and stuff and all is good, if she ask you to use female pronouns which she seems to have done according to your other thread you should respect her idendity, thankfully she has a cousin who respect that and it seems your family aslo.

Or he is a 4 year old who happens to like stuff that is generally thought of as being female for no good reason.

RedMambo

Have reported you for dangerous 'medical' advice - also drug pushing, perhaps?
But maybe you're just trying to spark a reaction...?

upsideup will be ever so shocked by that when she returns to this thread.

Red idiotic

Op I would involve the parents get it taken down snd report her to FB and cancel her visit.

Absolute bollocks

Let her be as she is untill she is ten

A four year old BOY.

He, RedMambo, he. HE is a boy. Not a girl. You cannot change your sex. He can grow his hair long, and like sparkly pink clothes, but he is still a boy. Stop misgendering him. Even his mother has said he is a boy.

At the same age till I was a teen I wanted to be a boy. Thank fucking god all this shit wasn't around then because I'm a heterosexual woman with kids which wouldn't have happened if this transagenda had been pushed on me and my parents like it's being pushed now.

makes me fucking cross too.

when I was a girl I would refuse to wear dresses and liked climbing trees and toy cars and so on.

Some fucker like Mambo would take a girl like that, fill her head full of crap and her body full of drugs, and ruin her life.

My DD wants to be the queen. What does that make her?

The OP is right in views that her son is just a little boy who like wearing a dress. He may grow out of it, he may not. But at the age of 4 you absolutely cannot label him as trans. That is bonkers. And anyone telling him he is trans will only confirm this in his mind rather than allowing him to make his own mind up.

Redmambo you seriously need to stop peddling your bullshilt-I've reported your posts.

Quite apart from the shit advice that @Red Mambo has just given out, doxxing is stuff that TRAs do. We don't use your shitty bully boy tactics

Red

The op has a boy!! See a boy not a girl a boy.

we make sure they get help

How? Who are you? What do you do?

liquidrevolution why can she not be Queen someday she could marry Prince George and be Queen.

we make sure they get help from real doctors and not hormones bought through interent pharmacies that so many desperate girl turn to instead.

Who is this ‘we’?

Why can this child not just enjoy the toys, clothes and hair that they like?

Let her be as she is untill she is ten, if she is still trans

A contradiction there, don't you think?

"Still" trans? If he changes his mind about wanting to be a girl, doesn't that mean that he's not trans at all? Just a little boy who thinks he can be whatever he wants?

I wonder if he even fully realises that girls and boys have different genitals. For now he just wants things that girls wear. Some kids want to be footballers.

RedMambo is probably at TRA salivating at the thought of getting their hands on another kid to peddle their bullshit and drugs on.

You are right to be furious OP , but it's true that your niece is a child herself in a lot of ways. Don't comment, contact FB to remove this post ( if it's possible) and contact her parents. There are few issues around this.
Firstly she is wrong about your child and clearly doesn't understand transgender issues, probably heard something at school or on social media and came to wrong conclusions.
Secondly, she doesn't understand limits on FB , she can't post about your child at all without your permission, she needs a lesson about privacy and consequences of her actions. I would expect her parents to take it very seriously, cut her access to social media and monitor this closely.
The third thing, she could be genuinely mistaken, but could it be attention seeking and attempt to impress friends? In this case, parents need to address it as well.
Her visit could be a good opportunity for you and your DH to talk to her about this and for her to say sorry. My reaction would depends on parents reaction, if they won't support you on this -- I would cancel.
Some people asked why she thinks so could it be that parents said something? It's a good question to ask as well.

As a parent i find this all absolutely shocking. My older kids are early twenties now so I have seen them and their friends develop over the years.

DS's best friend through primary was a little girl who basically acted like one of the boys; played football every breaktime, had no close girl friends at all and used a male version of her name. Now in her 20s she is incredibly girly and glamorous (and very beautiful) and has a boyfriend.

DD's best friend since primary was another football playing little girl who always wore boys clothes and has never worn makeup. She is now in a relationship with a woman.

Both these girls would have been very very likely to have been propelled down the trans route if they had been born 20 years later. As it is they are happy and healthy.

When we watch they mermaids Australian show me and dd always speculate how much we would love to be mermaids. We are 50 and 18!

Any advice Red I need that tail

REd - nobody is going to 'dox' you, nobody is that interested. How vain.

I bet that is something that you lot do.