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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about leaving children home alone?

285 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 03/03/2018 17:15

Whats the youngest you would leave a child home alone to pop to the shops? I know everyone's area is different so shops will be further away, but just looking for a general idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 03/03/2018 20:20

Well apparently children go to and from school on their own at 6/7 in European countries. I personally think that's more risky. Anyway I don't think the leaving the baby in the cot is that bad I used to have to do it with my kids to take rubbish down to the bins (3rd floor flat and bins downstairs outside the building) or to carry the buggy and shopping up. I had no choice.

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 03/03/2018 20:21

Why leave them anyway? Why not get them to run round with you?

I didn't leave mine until they were in secondary school. They just seemed too young. I'm really shocked at people leaving 7 year olds in the house alone - and as for leaving a baby in a cot! Shock Shock Shock

AdalindSchade · 03/03/2018 20:21

I started leaving mine at 7, nearly 8. I would do a 10 minute round trip and he would not budge from the sofa. He knew exactly what to do in case of emergency.
Now he's 9 I will leave him for up to an hour but only if I'm very local. I need to know I could walk home if the car broke down.
I dislike the mollycoddling that children receive these days. I encourage independence and resourcefulness.

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 03/03/2018 20:25

When you have 4 kids taken them everywhere is abit of a pain.

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 03/03/2018 20:25

The Gov site quotes the NSPCC guidelines so whilst there is no set age, babies and toddlers is an absolute no.

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

SuperBeagle · 03/03/2018 20:26

I was leaving two of mine when they were 5 and 7 while I walked the dogs or went into town to do some shopping.

We live in a very rural part of Australia. I had no concerns about leaving them. They knew how to get themselves something to eat/drink, use the TV, who to call in an emergency etc.

mishfish · 03/03/2018 20:28

When it’s half term I leave my 8 year old alone for ten minutes whilst I drop his little sisters at nursery

formerbabe · 03/03/2018 20:28

When you have 4 kids taken them everywhere is abit of a pain

A simple solution to this is not to have 4 kids.

AdalindSchade · 03/03/2018 20:29

That's a bloody stupid thing to say formerbabe

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 03/03/2018 20:31

It's definitely a stupid comment. I wasn't a lone parent when I had them. Things change. Should I put them back?

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 03/03/2018 20:32

mine were around 9. walked to school by themselves at that age so half an hour to the shops fine.

Blackteadrinker77 · 03/03/2018 20:32

I can't believe people leave toddlers and 5&6 year olds alone.

You might tell them don't answer the door or do xyz but kids don't listen even if you are there.

Coulddowithanap · 03/03/2018 20:37

I've left DC 11 looking after DC 6 whilst walking the dog or popping to the corner shop for milk.. max I've left them is 10 minutes.

Curtainshopping · 03/03/2018 20:39

These ages people are talking about - if more than one child, does the age refer to the youngest or eldest child?

Mine are 9 and 7. I feel like 9 is OK but maybe not 7 so do I wait until the youngest is 9 IYSWIM?

whathaveiforgottentoday · 03/03/2018 20:39

Around 8 for popping out for 15 mins as we have very close neighbours. 11 yrs/year 6 in school for leaving for longer.
Happier to leave one child in the house alone than the two of them together!

bathsh3ba · 03/03/2018 20:40

I leave my 10 and 8yo together on their own for up to about 30 minutes if I am going to be local. I leave my 10yo for up to an hour and would go a bit further afield leaving her. I wouldn't yet leave my 8yo on her own.

HootenannyHouse · 03/03/2018 20:43

10-11. They can seem so much older than they are really. They need the confidence to act persistently in an emergency and even the brightest children won't have that until they are older than 7/8.

bobstersmum · 03/03/2018 20:43

A bit surprised at how young most people think it's OK! I personally think if sensible, 10 is a good age for quick trips, but obviously varies for the child and circumstances. I would never leave a 6-7 year old!

Thehogfather · 03/03/2018 20:43

tot yes, of course I worried what would happen if I fell down the stairs when dd was asleep. But zero chance of being in a rta in my house. Besides, me falling and being knocked out or dying is an unavoidable risk. Leaving a toddler is an avoidable risk, with no potential gain for the child.

brilliant because some of us believe that independence and responsibility should be introduced gradually when dc are ready, not suddenly introduced when they start secondary, and then again at university age.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 03/03/2018 20:44

When my eldest starting walking home, she would be home for up to an hour on her own. We had a no cooking rule! Other than that she was mostly found glued to the TV or computer.

Mummyontherun86 · 03/03/2018 20:45

At 8 children can go unaccompanied to cinema/swimming/bowling so I think that’s a good rule of thumb.

SuperBeagle · 03/03/2018 20:47

A bit surprised at how young most people think it's OK! I personally think if sensible, 10 is a good age for quick trips, but obviously varies for the child and circumstances. I would never leave a 6-7 year old!

Different cultures etc.

It's perfectly normal in some cultures to send kindergarteners off on their own to school, even if this involves navigating public transport, changing trains, walking along busy roads etc. It's seen as vital to building their independence.

mrsdotty · 03/03/2018 20:47

My dd is 8, mature and very good but I just couldn't do it. Maybe it's because we have to drive to our local shop. But even so I'd be so worried about something happening to me. Could get knocked down or anything. I let her play out where I can see from our house but that's it until secondary school.

I can't see what kind of emergency would warrant the risk. But that's just me.

Maryann1975 · 03/03/2018 20:47

I started leaving dd for 10 minutes when she was about 8.5 I think. To take ds to beavers. I think I started leaving ds when he was a similar age to take dd to rainbows. Dd2 is now 7.5 and I leave her asleep with dd1 (age nearly 12) who is awake for about 20 minutes. I have left them very occasionally when dd2 is awake, but not all 3 together as I think they would argue so it would be irresponsible for me to do that.

PussCatTheGoldfish · 03/03/2018 20:51

I just started leaving my 8yo at home to pick up her sister from art club. Around 15 minutes.

I would never leave both of the home together (youngest 7yo). They'd fight or get up to mischief!

They walk to school round here from 9 so I'm slowly getting her used to being a bit more grown up.