To give up on this school

[Bemoreunderstanding]

Looking for advice on next year's high school place.

We live in a small village with a small village primary school. Most children go to the local high school but I chose to send my older child out of area to a similar distance away high school which is in the next council area. We were lucky to get the place as we are as far out as they take. I was hoping to get my younger child into the same school and we have a slightly improved chance due to the sibling link but we are still out of area of course.

At the village school is a lovely mother who has a child with SEN issues (very relevant to this thread) in my younger child's class. This mother spoke to me a while back about which schools I was looking at, as she intended to send her child to the same one, so my child could travel with her child and help him get to school safely.

However as her child has a statement and will understandably take priority over my child. If she applies for the same school, her child will definitely get a place and therefore reducing our chances and as they only just reach the village we are very likely to lose out. If the mother actually wanted the school place that is fine, but she only wants to go to the school which my child is going to and I am feeling frustrated that this is likely to lead to her child attending this school on their own.

The second concern is I want to be kind and understanding and in theory I don't mind my child helping hers. However they both struggle socially and I can't expect my child to look after hers at the level she is expecting. The children are not friends though I encourage kindness and being nice to all classmates. The mother said my child is the only one who is nice to her child.

Thirdly this school is very big and doesn't have a great SEN provision where as the local high school is much smaller and has a brilliant on site SEN. My good friends child loves the unit and how it is fully integrated into the school but there for when she needs it.

Bottom line this mother can and must do the right thing for her child. But hand on heart I don't think the out of area school is the answer. If they go for it best case scenario my child gets in too and has a part time carer role on the buses, walking, lunch time and might make it more difficult for my child to make a friend for himself. As my child has made his first friend in year five, I don't want to pile more pressure on. In the worse case we won't get a place at all and the other mum will be upset her child will be travelling on their own.

I am going to have another chat with this mother and if she is definite about choosing this out of area school I guess I need to give up and put mine in the local high school. If I don't get our first choice we will be pushed into the sink high school in the next village along and I can't risk that.

Or I could explain that we won't get both kids in the out of area school and therefore would she consider applying for the good local school instead, as we really want the place due to sibling attending and whatever happens our children will be in different schools.....but I know that will be rude :(

Yes child apparently has a Statement. Or EHCP by now you'd hope or on the way to being converted.

So the admissions criteria says 1 child from Village X. How odd.

I suspect she'd like your dc to look after her dc but this will probably not happen if your dc will decide he doesn't want to. You can't make your dc do this even if you want to. It's a bonkers plan on her behalf, she needs a better plan for her dc to manage the transition to secondary. Luckily secondary is usually quite anonymous and you'll most likely lose contact with her so she can't badger you or your dc about this.

Yes, to the EHCP. The mother knows they can can automatically get a place to whatever school they want and for her sake I am glad. I just wish it wasn't going to affect us so negatively.

WHAT is SEN transport ? I know she is so worried about using public transport, can she get a taxi paid for or something ?

She can apply for the LA to facilitate transport. Various clauses.

Sorry just read the bit about only 1 child from your village getting a place. If this is true then how can she only be applying there so her child goes to the same school as you? If she’s not aware of the fact they won’t be going together then by all means point it out but if she still feels it’s the best school for her child that’s her decision not yours. ‘Selling’ the SEN provision in the school you don’t want to improve your sons chances of getting a place in the good school is underhand and overstepping the mark imho.

She IBVU to expect your dc to be her dc's carer. I don't think you have any choice but to either tell her bluntly that this will not be happening, or to lie about your school choices. It would be completely different if both of the children already had a good friendship and were looking forward to travelling together.

I don't think the posters are right saying you have equal chance of getting into a school no matter what position you put it. If you put sibling school 1st and catchment school 2nd, and don't get sibling school, then you might find that catchment school has been filled by those who put it 1st. So I think you have a valid concern.

Also where we are there is at least one school that gives priority to children who have selected it as their first choice. Been looking at admissions criteria a fair bit recently!

I don’t think you understand how admissions work op. I really can’t imagine there’s a point in the admissions critters that says one child from your village will get in?

Of course the admissions stuff does not say one child from our village. However the furthest placed offered in our village based on distances is usually
one place. Though a couple of years ago two kids got a place but usually it is only one.

My sibling is ASD and my child assessed too but school said no problems, so no there is no anti disabled kids vibe from me. Plus I like the other mother and her child and just want a solution which would be good all around. But I think I need to give up on the out of area school and start trying to get my child use to the idea now.

*criteria!

If the other persons child has a EHCP (or statement still if they live in Wales), then they should already have began to identify the school they want and asked at his annual review for it to be named on his statement.

I highly doubt the village high school takes only 1 child from X village. I dare say they take catchment children and in previous years there has been 1 'spare space' and 1 village child has been lucky enough to get it. Previously this was OP older child. Now OP has a sibling link and can hope to be lucky again. It may be OP that even if the other child doesn't choose to go there, there may be no spare spaces, as it may be full of catchment children - who may well come before your sibling link.

what does the admissions policy say - put in on the Education threads here and ask one of the 'experts' here for advice....they are always happy to help over there.

Noeuf, Thank you. In will look into that for her. Whatever school she decides on, transport would make a big difference. Will look into this in more detail and pass to the other mother.

If the other child does have a ehcp (previously known as statement) mum says she wants school a they will get school a.
If you already have a child at the school surely the sibling link is top of admittance policy.
You need to check the schools policy on admittance priority.

You could advise the parent that she needs to raise with the LEA her child's transport needs at the transition review which is when her child's placement will be discussed.She will know in February, before general admissions are released what school (usually the one she chooses) her child will attend. She should also speak to IPSEA or SOSSEN about getting transport for her child added to the EHCP which should be in place by the end of this month at the very latest.If the child is going to struggle with public transport then the LEA may well taxi her child in or already have minibuses that will collect her child from the doorstep,

If you put sibling school 1st and catchment school 2nd, and don't get sibling school, then you might find that catchment school has been filled by those who put it 1st.

That absolutely is not how it works. What happens is every school gets a list of everyone who has applied. These are ranked in order of the criteria. The council NOT the school does the number crunching and you will then be offered the highest placed school on your list that you qualify for. They don't fill schools with first preferences and then go to second. They fill schools with children who satisfy the admission criteria, and for whom it is the highest placed school where they satisfy those criteria.

This explains it well: www.theschoolrun.com/equal-preference-system-explained

It is a legal requirement to operate an equal preference system now so it really isn't true that where you place a school has a bearing on how likely you are to get in (it obviously has a bearing on how likely you are to be offered it if you place other schools that you are likely to get into higher on the list).

I would check the criteria for your second choice and see if they give priority to those who put it as their first choice. If not then you’ve nothing to lose by choosing the out of area school as your first choice. If the second choice school does give priority to people who choose it first then you need to decide if you want to risk losing your second choice by prioritising your first choice. Whether the other mother chooses the out of area school might effect your decision but you really have no business trying to manipulate her into choosing the school oh don’t want.

Boston. You are right, we could of lost the place due to more in area kids or more in area siblings. I am just sad as I know we have no chance now and this child won't care what school they go to and my child does. But i jusg have to accept that school is no longer an option and move on. And I will tomorrow, I just really like the other school

If the school is named on the EHCP that will comeback above sibling link priority wise.

Ok a few things.

A) if you put out of area school first and local school second you will only get one you don't want if BOTH those are full.
B) if her child has an EHCP then her application process is different as la name school of school says it can meet need.
C) don't lie or get involved. Just say you have met decided yet and as her application process I'd different you don't guarantee they'll end up together anyway.

If i understood this right, the other mother is more interested in having your child act as a chaperone to hers, whatever school.
Her expectations are high and are likely to become a burden to your child. Not to mention that she might employ all sorts of manipulative tactics if you/your child dont fulfill the role.
I would continue being very vague and act undecided. I would also let her know that her expectations for your child are too high and unfair. Lovely if they happen to get along but you cannot force it, sen or no sen.

There is enough people in area putting the nice small local high school as their first choice, then no one choosing it 2nd or 3rd gets a place.

Schools in the public sector are not allowed to take account of whether parents put them first when allocating places. The only time when this cones into play is when your child gets a place at more than school, at which pointbthey are allocated the higher choice.

Generally the LA wouldn’t provide transport if there was a closer ‘appropriate’ school that the parents didn’t opt for. They will provide transport to the closest suitable provision if over 2 miles from home address. (Disclaimer, this is the situation in all of our 10 local authorities that I deal with, it may vary slightly where you live)

Do what is right for your child. And try not to have conversations with her about this.

Last year everyone who chose nice local school 2nd or 3rd was given a sink school option across the valley that no one had down as an option. Our council is really struggling for places. You only have a chance at your first option. So you can't waste your first choice on a school you might not get into.