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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you employ household staff if money were no object?

266 replies

UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 14:51

I'm a Nanny and I work in a household of 20+ staff. Mum doesn't work.
I was wondering today whether, if money were no object, I'd have a similar set up or not.

For context, there are several children, each with their own nanny and I manage those nannies, in a "Head Nanny" role.
There are also several housekeepers, butlers, maids, chauffeurs etc.
The family consists of the children and both parents.

I think I'd HAVE to go out to work, even though I wouldn't need to, as I get bored incredibly easily. But I suspect that I'd get bored of my job and then end up starting new things again and again. (In short, I'd suck at being wealthy)

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, this is in AIBU because it was going to be "AIBU to be uncomfortable with the idea of household staff?" but then I thought I'd get ripped apart for not being neutral

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 02/03/2018 15:38

I'd have a cleaner/housekeeper and gardener. Not anything else, however. Don't like living with a load of people myself. If I were rich/famous, too, I'd be afraid someone would stitch us up, too.

pallisers · 02/03/2018 15:38

Oh yes, would love a hairdresser to blow dry my hair every day!

UpstartCrow · 02/03/2018 15:38

I'm disabled, if I won the lottery and could afford staff it would change my life. I'd have a cleaner, gardener and driver. I'd also travel all over the UK and bore you all on Instagram Grin

Copperspot · 02/03/2018 15:39

I wouldn’t want live in staff, but would love someone to come round and change my bedding everyday. And do the food shop. And i would have a hairdresser come round every morning to blow out my hair for me.

Desperatelyseekingsun · 02/03/2018 15:39

Lived in Latin America for a while and had a live in maid, gardener, driver and was thinking about getting outside bloke when we left. I was really uncomfortable with the idea at first but soon adjusted. The freedom of having no housework or laundry was great. The ability to pop out if I wanted to because there was always someone to keep an eye of the DC was also great. I didn't get a cook because I liked cooking and I had someone to clean up after me, clear plates etc. After a year I was able to drive and I preferred this as I did struggle with having someone sitting outside where ever I was for hours, I liked the freedom of driving myself. But I came to the conclusion that life with staff is better, although managing them is a form of work. I also realised I getting very spoilt when we went on holiday once and I was getting fed up hanging clothes in the wardrobe and wondered if you could take your maid on holiday with you! Coming back to UK was a sad bump back into normality but I recovered.

lalalalyra · 02/03/2018 15:40

I would. To the horror of some I'm a SAHM, but we still have our cleaner (had her before I stopped working) and we have a guy who comes to move the lawn once a month.

If I could afford it I'd have some sort of chauffeur for the younger teens so there didn't have to be any negotiation over who did what activities that clashed. And a cook, neither DH or I enjoy cooking so that would be good.

I'd love to have a bit more time to go into the voluntary stuff I do (and if I was rich I'd be puttng cash into it as well) so technically I'd be a SAHM with loads of staff as well.

YTho · 02/03/2018 15:40

I'd have a nanny, cleaner/housekeeper, pa, chauffeur and cook.

LoveManyTrustfew · 02/03/2018 15:42

I have the following.

Cleaner

Ironing Lady

Dog Walker

Gardener

Thankfully they all live out, it does make for a very easy life.

montenotte · 02/03/2018 15:44

I'd have a housekeeper who would sort the laundry, tidy and generally keep the house "nice". She would take in deliveries, the waitrose (naturally) online shopping etc.
I'd then have a cleaner who would clean, properly clean.
I'd have a gardener

I'd spend A LOT at the beautician, hairdressers, private pilates studio, personal trainer.
I'd have a driver on call

I wouldn't have a nanny though. Cook, maybe.

wouldn't have anyone living in though. maybe the housekeeper could have her own little cottage in the grounds...

SandyY2K · 02/03/2018 15:44

Definitely.

I'd have a cleaner. I don't need a nanny anymore as my DC are teenagers.

I would have a nanny if they were younger and money was no object.

I'd also have a part time cook.

I wouldn't want anyone to live in though.

Utrecht · 02/03/2018 15:45

Definitely. I would like a gardener and a full time housekeeper please, plus a PA to manage the kids diaries because I am shit shit at this. And a driver to take kids to clubs etc and me and DH home from dates. No nanny, though, my kids are at school and I don't work holidays.

SnowBusinessLikeSlowBusiness · 02/03/2018 15:45

I would not like my house full of people and would not have anyone live in, but I would outsource the crappier stuff. I'd get a cleaner, send the laundry out, get a gardener etc.

AdaColeman · 02/03/2018 15:47

I'd have a driver/handyman and a cleaner and a gardener.
They wouldn't need to live in, though if I had a handy nearby gatehouse cottage the driver could have that.

Just been looking at the refurbished Chatsworth House and thinking how lovely it must be to live there!

Tiddlywinks63 · 02/03/2018 15:47

Absolutely yes!
I'd have a chef, housekeeper, gardener, chauffeur, the whole caboodle.
Oh bliss!

zzzzz · 02/03/2018 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UAEMum · 02/03/2018 15:49

We have a maid who comes 2x a week. She stays 8 hours each time, cleans the place from top to bottom and does all the ironing.
We also have a gardener who washes the cars. We live in the UAE and a lot of peoplr have full time live in maids. We used to, but we didnt like having someone in the house full time.

Bloomed · 02/03/2018 15:50

That's interesting OP. I think I'd need some spaces ringfenced for privacy for my own anxiety levels.

ICantFindAFreeNickName2 · 02/03/2018 15:50

I would have a cleaner/ironer and someone to do the food shop & prepare dinner each night. They would be gone by the time I got home. I would just have to heat our food up. I could not bear to have live in staff.
Though if I ever win the euro millions rollover, my big indulgence would be someone to change my bedding everyday.

SimplyJaded · 02/03/2018 15:50

I'd hate it - I'd especially hate the thought of a chauffeur. The whole point of driving is the freedom it gives you which is somewhat scuppered by someone having to drive you.

I would outsource all laundry and employ some kind of external chef who would make us and deliver healthy frozen ready meals (in family portions) to take away cooking for a few nights a week.

I'd want a team of cleaners to come for an hour twice a week - so get about twenty cleaners in, a couple per room, to smash it out in record time and then leave us be. I would hate to have constant housekeepers or maids, I'd never relax.

UnimaginativeUsername · 02/03/2018 15:50

I wouldn’t want 20 staff but I would love a housekeeper and a gardener.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/03/2018 15:51

I wish I could have a ‘Magic Helper’ - just click my fingers and they appear!

I’d like lots done, but I hate having people invading my space or arrangements dictating my movements. I’d have to think very carefully how to make it work.

Definitely not live in. Definitely not all day, everyday. Honestly, that just makes me feel claustrophobic/panicky/irritated thinking about it. I’d like not to feel like that though as I’d love the cooking/cleaning/boring shit done for me!

Bloomed · 02/03/2018 15:53

Though I expect that dealing with that many staff must be time-consuming anyway.

SimplyJaded · 02/03/2018 15:54

I also feel sorry for the kids in the op's scenario - imagine having a 24/7 nanny per child. All the money and material things in the world can't make up for what those kids are missing out on IMO.

Elektro · 02/03/2018 15:54

I wouldn't I don't think. I'd probably have a cleaner and that would be it.

I wouldn't like "other people" in my house all of the time. I wouldn't feel comfortable in my own home.

And, I wouldn't want my kids to go to a nanny before they come to me. I want to be the first port of call in their lives!

SandLand · 02/03/2018 15:55

I live in a place where having a maid, nanny and/or driver is common.
People are surprised I have none - we had a cleaner a couple of hours a week when I worked full time in the UK, and the kids were at nursery. But Im a SAHM to 2 school age kids. I don't need help in the house. The rent includes a gardener, so I don't do that, andc since I can't drive here, I use quite a few taxis.
There is no way I would want live in staff unless i had a job that involved 15hr+ a day out of the house.