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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you employ household staff if money were no object?

266 replies

UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 14:51

I'm a Nanny and I work in a household of 20+ staff. Mum doesn't work.
I was wondering today whether, if money were no object, I'd have a similar set up or not.

For context, there are several children, each with their own nanny and I manage those nannies, in a "Head Nanny" role.
There are also several housekeepers, butlers, maids, chauffeurs etc.
The family consists of the children and both parents.

I think I'd HAVE to go out to work, even though I wouldn't need to, as I get bored incredibly easily. But I suspect that I'd get bored of my job and then end up starting new things again and again. (In short, I'd suck at being wealthy)

Before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, this is in AIBU because it was going to be "AIBU to be uncomfortable with the idea of household staff?" but then I thought I'd get ripped apart for not being neutral

OP posts:
Perendinate · 02/03/2018 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmokedPaprika · 02/03/2018 15:08

I think I'd just need someone once a week for ironing and deep cleaning. DH and I have often said that coming into life-changing money wouldn't mean much life-changing at the moment. He is lucky enough to get paid for doing his hobby, so that wouldn't change. We are still beholden to school and college term times so the world cruise isn't a possibility.
A house with 25 en suite bedrooms doesn't hold much attraction although I could see us with 4 bedrooms on acres of ground to be away from neighbours. We don't like neighbours. I'd probably lease out the land apart from a decent garden though. So aside from really nice cars and holidays:-
a weekly person for deep clean and ironing.
an outdoor person for lawns.
A shit-hot accountant.

BzyB · 02/03/2018 15:09

I like my space and a bit wick at social interactions so in reality I’d probably struggle with staff... but if I went out a few days a week and my house was cleaned, fridge/freezer stocked with homemade healthy meals, and my garden was taken care of while I was out.... also interior designers and decorators when needed.
Oh. And a Personal stylist.
That sound awful Blush but I don’t even know what to do with myself when the window cleaner is here.

I’d not want a full time nanny.

Actually, if money was no object I’d probably take the kids travelling instead. Live in hotels, eat out all the time.
(Would that mess kids up to never have a “proper” home?!)

midnightmisssuki · 02/03/2018 15:09

not a full on team of 20 no - however, im assuming its a huge house and therefore needs all the staff? In that case maybe they need it. I know a few friends who have a nanny and a gardener. My ex boss used to have a nanny for each of his four children, a few gardeners, security guards, chefs - probably more than 20 staff but he needed it - he was mega wealthy though and what he paid them he didnt even notice the cost. His wife worked but at her own leisure, she did more charity stuff though - they are amazingly down to earth and you wouldnt know they were wealthy unless you knew them personally. Lovely family.

Pikehau · 02/03/2018 15:09

Oh yes but not live in or anything. A housekeeper, gardener, cook and a “floating nanny” so I could pop to shops or take x child to get new shoes without having to load them all in the car! Oh and possibly a driver sometimes!!!

myusernamewastakenbyme · 02/03/2018 15:09

I would have a chef come in on a monday who would prepare all my meals for the week ahead.....also a cleaner who could spend all monday blitzing the house and a gardener to maintain the outside....that way i would have the rest of the week with the house to myself.

londonrach · 02/03/2018 15:10

Yes. Id employ someone to change the bedding every day, clean the kitchen and bathroom, do the washing, empty the bin and cook.but sadly never going to happen.

Original poster
UnsuspectedItem · 02/03/2018 15:10

I'm uncomfortable with people other than friends or family in my home so the idea of loads of people floating around would be a nightmare for me.

I think this nails it on the head for me. I growl under my breath whenever a service person came into my house, so I think I'd just be beside myself with so many people around.

OP posts:
MrsDustyBusty · 02/03/2018 15:12

The jealousy thing is a thing, but I have to work and my daughter has to be in childcare and I prefer her to have a warm relationship with the people she's with a lot of the time. That's why I could accept a loving nanny who is a stable presence.

twattymctwatterson · 02/03/2018 15:12

You sound quite judgemental of your employers op. It's a good job they don't feel the same way as you or you wouldn't have a job!

EenaMinaMoe · 02/03/2018 15:12

I quite like the amount of staff I have now - a cleaner twice a week, someone to mow the grass and trim the hedge when needed and a regular babysitter one evening per week.

I enjoy cooking and messing around with flower beds and hanging out with DD. I wouldn't want to lose that.

My GPs had a full house of staff and my DM always said as a result she never really felt she had a relationship with her DM - she mourned her old nanny more when she died than she did her own mother. I'd hate to have DD think that of me.

MrsElvis · 02/03/2018 15:12

I'd have a chef, nanny and a chauffeur. Chuck a personal trainer and yoga instructor in there too and then I could have a masseuse pop over each day Grin

IJustLostIt · 02/03/2018 15:12

I'd have a cleaner a few times a week and a nanny for school runs and after school care, as I'd be bored to death if I didn't work.

Other than that, I'd hate to have a house full of employees all the time, I wouldn't be able to relax.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 02/03/2018 15:13

I'd have a cleaner definitely and a window cleaner but that's probably about it. Also a nanny/governess type person (do governesses exist out of Disney movies anyway?).

Mind you I'd like all this because I work and juggling everything gets to me a lot. The nanny would cover where school clubs don't...If I wasn't working I'd probably get quite bored...It's a snow day and I'm bored!

MrsElvis · 02/03/2018 15:13

How did I forget a cleaner? I'd have a whole fleet of them

AutumnalTed · 02/03/2018 15:13

I’d definitely have a cook and a cleaner, a nanny for my son but not a 24 hour nanny. Definitely a grander because I’m rubbish at those things and a driver would be nice Grin never thought about it before but as I type this I have realised I would definitely have staff Grin

QueenOfIce · 02/03/2018 15:13

I'd have a chef and a cleaner but not every day, I would however have full staff to go ahead to whichever house we were going to to set it up, unpack and make it like home. Grin

AutumnalTed · 02/03/2018 15:13

Gardener*

Oblomov18 · 02/03/2018 15:14

I wouldn't want someone around all the time. I would want my house to myself sometimes.

littlepeas · 02/03/2018 15:15

I'd have a housekeeper definitely - I loathe cleaning - don't think I'd bother with anything else though.

SmokedPaprika · 02/03/2018 15:16

I probably would have had at least a mother's help. But the youngest is 16 now so I don't rate my chances of introducing childcare at this point. Maybe an evening person to hang around and answer all these really important questions the teens tend to have as soon as I sit down to watch my programme.
"Question.....Mum look at me not the telly.....Question.....can I go to town on April 5th with Amy?" Drives me up the wall. I'd pay a tenner an hour for someone to deal with that.

TheJoyOfSox · 02/03/2018 15:17

If money was no object, I’d have a fantastic cleaner. Not a cook though, I enjoy cooking and we already have a gardener. I guess a chauffeur would be nice, if money really was no object.
When my children were tiny and I worked full time I did have a cleaner, she was ok, top tidy though, she didn’t seem to be into wiping skirting boards etc. (Maybe I didn’t have her for enough hours, she did 3 hours Monday and Friday only)

Whatthefoxgoingon · 02/03/2018 15:17

Yes we had live in nannies and housekeeper when children were young. I grew up with household staff, some were there for many years and we were used to it. It can be intrusive if you are a very private person though.

MerryShitmas · 02/03/2018 15:17

No, I found it awkward when we had a live in housekeeper for a bit.
She was amazing and with us for 6 months, had her own self contained accom (granny flat type thing) as Dh had had a heart attack I was doing 60 hr work weeks and had a young baby it was right for us at the time but I did feel very awkward about it (having someone in my home and seeing me in my pj's/slobbing about/knowing what I ate as she did the shopping etc). Friends and family made it awkward too as i just couldn't mention it without someone taking the piss/making out I thought I was above everybody/too big for my boots.
I wasn't; btw. Just someone going through a tough time... so no, wouldn't do it again.
I don't think many of us can compare or think about having 20 staff though. Even if they're all on 25hrs or so a week, that's what - 300k a year basic?

Most people don't even earn that.
Maybe we'd think differently if we had her life, she clearly thinks it necessary so leave her be I suppose!

LakieLady · 02/03/2018 15:18

God, yes!

Housekeeper, cook, cleaner, gardener, chauffeur - I'm extremely lazy, so I'd just loaf about all day doing bugger all. No kids, so need for nannies, but I'd have someone come and groom the dog, too.

I might not bother with a butler. That seems a bit OTT.